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Rank: Veteran Joined: 12/21/2011 Posts: 1,010
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KAKAMEKAA!
A story is told of this young girl who boarded a matatu from town (NRB). The Matatu was headed for Western Kenya.On reaching Westlands the gal got from her seat and walked to the driver and asked, 'Tumefika Naivasha?"
In amazement the driver answered her,"bado mtoto"On they moved and on reaching Kangemi the gal walked to the driver again, "Tumefika Naivasha?" "Bado" the driver replied.After another 10 mins, the girl asked the same question and the same answer was given.The driver was by now getting very irritated by the little one who was asking if they had reached Naivasha after every few minutes but the passengers just looked on.The next time she asked, the driver promised that he would alert her when they got to Naivasha, "Tukifika Naivasha, nitakuambia. "
So the young one relaxed, sat on her seat and perhaps even blacked out.On reaching Naivasha, the driver had neatly forgotten the deal,so he continued driving and twenty minutes after Naivasha the girl stood up and asked the driver the usual question. Oh oh, the driver had no words.Now that he had forgotten to keep his promise.The fellow passengers in anger started quarreling the driver for failing the young girl. They demanded that she be driven back to Naivasha then they proceed to wherever they were going. Being the good guy that he was, the driver turned the matatu around and drove back to Naivasha and told the girl,"Sasa tuko Naivasha. "
The girl stood up, stretched her hands to the luggage rack, picked her bag, opened it, removed bread and milk, sat down and started eating the bread and drinking the milk.Now everyone in the matatu wondered and just looked at the gal. So the driver goes, "Tumefika Naivasha, si ushuke!" and the girl goes,"Mami aliniambia nikifika Naivasha, nitoe mkate yangu na maziwa nikule."
"Na unaenda wapi?" asked the driver.The girl replies calmly and in between munches..."Naenda Kakamekaa".
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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wilyum wrote:KAKAMEKAA!
A story is told of this young girl who boarded a matatu from town (NRB). The Matatu was headed for Western Kenya.On reaching Westlands the gal got from her seat and walked to the driver and asked, 'Tumefika Naivasha?"
In amazement the driver answered her,"bado mtoto"On they moved and on reaching Kangemi the gal walked to the driver again, "Tumefika Naivasha?" "Bado" the driver replied.After another 10 mins, the girl asked the same question and the same answer was given.The driver was by now getting very irritated by the little one who was asking if they had reached Naivasha after every few minutes but the passengers just looked on.The next time she asked, the driver promised that he would alert her when they got to Naivasha, "Tukifika Naivasha, nitakuambia. "
So the young one relaxed, sat on her seat and perhaps even blacked out.On reaching Naivasha, the driver had neatly forgotten the deal,so he continued driving and twenty minutes after Naivasha the girl stood up and asked the driver the usual question. Oh oh, the driver had no words.Now that he had forgotten to keep his promise.The fellow passengers in anger started quarreling the driver for failing the young girl. They demanded that she be driven back to Naivasha then they proceed to wherever they were going. Being the good guy that he was, the driver turned the matatu around and drove back to Naivasha and told the girl,"Sasa tuko Naivasha. "
The girl stood up, stretched her hands to the luggage rack, picked her bag, opened it, removed bread and milk, sat down and started eating the bread and drinking the milk.Now everyone in the matatu wondered and just looked at the gal. So the driver goes, "Tumefika Naivasha, si ushuke!" and the girl goes,"Mami aliniambia nikifika Naivasha, nitoe mkate yangu na maziwa nikule."
"Na unaenda wapi?" asked the driver.The girl replies calmly and in between munches..."Naenda Kakamekaa".  ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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A woman was taking a shower when she heard a knock on her door. "who is it?" she asked. "It's me Tom," answered the guy. "Oh im coming, wait a second." she replied. She wrapped a towel around her then opened the door. Meanwhile Tom is a blind neighbour, so because of this she didn't cover herself, she was naked, she sat on the couch applying lotion. "she asked Tom: So, what made you visit me today? It's been a long time since I saw you, like two years ago." Well, I wanted to invite you to my party." Said Tom "oh,what party??" she asked "I went for an eye operation and now I can see clearly." said Tom. "Nice body by the way. ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: User Joined: 6/18/2009 Posts: 271
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/1/2010 Posts: 3,024 Location: Hapa
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Best marriage proposal Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali🐝
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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1. niliwitness ni kama ndrama ni kama findeo.. 2. jamaneni.. 3. landiing ya ninii, ndegee, ikooo! ... 4. hiyo siyo kushapwo, ju hata wewe ukiwa umerara, adui yako, iwe, ama ikitaka kukuua, inaweza kukuua ju umerara na ukiwa umerara, fikirio yako haikuwa kwa huyo mutu. iko bari sana ju hata ukiwa umerara si unakuwaga umekufa nusu harafu ukabaki nusu, kwa hivyo hiyo ni kufishiwo, siyo kushapwo. kuna kushapwo, kushapana na kujifishiwo. mimi siyo mutu wa kushapwo na bibi. 5. sirikali tafadhali, niko saidi mbaya kabisa... 6. huyo siyo mwizi, anauzaga mtura pare gara...bonokodeh 7. when we entered the house, he started chuting his family members. he chot the wife on the thigh, then chot the dots and proceeded to chut himself on the head. those who were injured were rushed to kakamega general hospital, the doctors were trying to fight for their lives but unfortunately we lost the two of them.. 8. he was beaten like a, like a....like sitiupid like a mburukenge! 9. the brake failed and came Hon on a hagsent(accident) head-on whereby the truck of the KBheF, the driver of the KBheF 453 was burned to recognition and it was reported...we have two victim, which are already confirmed dead.. 10. wakati zilifika mahali ambapo tuko na ajali, kari sote mbili siliwesa kukonkana ana kwa ana.. 11. there was a pedestrian who was moving along the road, he was crushed over under was left dead. ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 10/8/2008 Posts: 1,575
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The donkey has refused! I care!
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Rank: Member Joined: 9/21/2006 Posts: 422 Location: Nairobi
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McReggae wrote:
...
4. hiyo siyo kushapwo, ju hata wewe ukiwa umerara, adui yako, iwe, ama ikitaka kukuua, inaweza kukuua ju umerara na ukiwa umerara, fikirio yako haikuwa kwa huyo mutu. iko bari sana ju hata ukiwa umerara si unakuwaga umekufa nusu harafu ukabaki nusu, kwa hivyo hiyo ni kufishiwo, siyo kushapwo. kuna kushapwo, kushapana na kujifishiwo. mimi siyo mutu wa kushapwo na bibi.
5. sirikali tafadhali, niko saidi mbaya kabisa...
6. huyo siyo mwizi, anauzaga mtura pare gara...bonokodeh
7. when we entered the house, he started chuting his family members. he chot the wife on the thigh, then chot the dots and proceeded to chut himself on the head. those who were injured were rushed to kakamega general hospital, the doctors were trying to fight for their lives but unfortunately we lost the two of them..
8. he was beaten like a, like a....like sitiupid like a mburukenge!
9. the brake failed and came Hon on a hagsent(accident) head-on whereby the truck of the KBheF, the driver of the KBheF 453 was burned to recognition and it was reported...we have two victim, which are already confirmed dead..
10. wakati zilifika mahali ambapo tuko na ajali, kari sote mbili siliwesa kukonkana ana kwa ana..
11. there was a pedestrian who was moving along the road, he was crushed over under was left dead.
Hiii haaaaaa!!!!!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/11/2007 Posts: 1,680 Location: nairobi
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/26/2008 Posts: 2,097
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This donkey isn't male, right?  "Never regret, if its good, its wonderful. If its bad, its experience."
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/1/2009 Posts: 2,436
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@mcdoba, wewe anaksa sahau ile ya gari kutiririka mitoni..!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/7/2012 Posts: 11,908
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Beyond help In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins - cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later - H Geneen
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 1/9/2009 Posts: 1,262
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Rank: Member Joined: 11/8/2011 Posts: 482 Location: Nairobi
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C & P
One night, a guy takes his girlfriend home.
They are about to kiss each other goodnight, but the guy is feeling a little uh, horny.
With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her "Darling, would you give me a blow job?"
Horrified, she replies "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
Him:"Oh come on!Who's gonna see us at this hour?"
Her: " No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
Him: Oh Come on,there's nobody around, they're all asleep!"
Her: "No way. It's too risky!"
Him: "Oh please, please, I love you so much!"
Her: "No, no and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"
Him: " Oh yes you can. Please?"
Her:"No, no. I just can't"
Him:" I beg you ..."
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up and says:
"Dad says take your hand off the intercom."
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/23/2009 Posts: 1,626
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 Uncertainty is certain.Let go
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/14/2009 Posts: 2,057
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There was a group of women at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, ‘How many of you love your husbands?’ All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, ‘When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?’ Some women answered today, some yesterday, some didnt remember. The women were then told to take their phones and send the following text: I love you, sweetheart. Then the women were told to exchange phones and read the responding text messages. Here are some of the replies. 1. Who is this? 2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick? 3. I love you too. 4. What now? Did you crash the car again? 5. I dont understand what you mean? 6. What did you do now? I wont forgive you this time. 7. ?!? 8. Dont beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need? 9. Am I dreaming? 10. If you dont tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die. 11. I asked you not to drink anymore. I'll leave if you are tired of me. If you are an eagle don't hang around with chickens; chickens don't fly....
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/23/2009 Posts: 1,626
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Hahahahahaha Uncertainty is certain.Let go
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/11/2012 Posts: 5,222
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vinii wrote:There was a group of women at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, ‘How many of you love your husbands?’ All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, ‘When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?’ Some women answered today, some yesterday, some didnt remember. The women were then told to take their phones and send the following text: I love you, sweetheart. Then the women were told to exchange phones and read the responding text messages. Here are some of the replies.
1. Who is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick?
3. I love you too.
4. What now? Did you crash the car again?
5. I dont understand what you mean?
6. What did you do now? I wont forgive you this time.
7. ?!?
8. Dont beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you dont tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
11. I asked you not to drink anymore. I'll leave if you are tired of me. Classic
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Rank: Chief Joined: 8/24/2009 Posts: 5,909 Location: Nairobi
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/1/2009 Posts: 2,436
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Learn To Speak Japanese In 3 Minutes Japanese: Wai So Dim?
English: Has your flight been delayed?
Japanese: Hao Long Wei Ting?
English: I thought you were on a diet?
Japanese: Wai Yu Mun Ching?
English: They have arrived
Japanese: Hia Dei Kum
English: Your body odor is offensive
Japanese: Yu Stin Ki Pu
English: You know lyrics to the Macarena?
Japanese: Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?
English: I got this for free
Japanese: Ai No Pei
English: Stay out of sight
Japanese: Lei Lo
English: He's cleaning his automobile
Japanese: Wa Shing Ka
English: This is a tow away zone
Japanese: No Pah King
English: Is there a fugitive here?
Japanese: Hu Yu Hai Ding?
English: Small Horse
Japanese: Tai Ni Po Ni
English: Your price is too high!!
Japanese: No Bai Nut Ting!!
English: Did you go to the beach?
Japanese: Wai Yu So Tan?
English: I bumped into a coffee table
Japanese: Ai Bang Mai Ni
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