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Sth to cool dem Nerves: The Peace Lounge
simonkabz
#1 Posted : Monday, January 07, 2013 10:45:10 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/2/2007
Posts: 8,776
Location: Cameroon

A Notice spotted in
OTHAYA.
1. Kama fobe ni kununurio,
razima uende na pace ya
Mnunuzi. Akikunywa porepore,
kunywa porepore. Akikunywa
na haraka, pia wewe kunywa
na haraka.
2. Mwenye kununua fobe ndio
anafaa kupeana story.
Wanunulio waskize story sa
mnunuzi.
3. Ni hatia kukosa kusheka
wakati mnunuzi ametoa jokes.
Hapa tuko biasharani, kukosa
kusheka itafanya mnunuzi
aboeke aashe kununua.
4. zire fobe dogo, kawaida
sinakujaga biribiri. Kama hutaki
kununua biri biri, tumia waiter
sms umerezee arete moja
moja.
5. Hakuna kukataa fobe
ukinunulio. Kama umeleo
kabisa, weka stock.
6. Stock ni ukikubuka.
Hatukubushagi mtu ile stock
aliweka jana.
7. Ukipata bibi yako hapa na
mwanaume mwingine, usirete
vita. Toka porepore, enda kwa
bibi ya huyo mutu ujilipishie.
Usituhalibie biachara.
8. Ukinunulia maraya wa
mwingine fobe, usione kama
amekuwa wako ama kumuoba
naba ya simu. Kuja na wako.
9. Soea kupeana pesa
imetoshea, sababu ma waiter
wengi hapa husahau kuludisha
change.
10. Usizoee kueleza bibi yako
uko kwa hii bar. Ma bibi
wengine ni wasimu, wanaeza
kuja na watoe vita kwa bar
wakikupata na maraya.
11. Mabo ya kuiba mali yako
wakati umeleo upunguze.
Utafanya waisi waskie
watuvamie na saa hio hauna
kitu.
12. Kuingia na makari zikiwa
kwa mfuko ni same na kuua
mtu. Ukipatikana, ufafishwo.
13. Bakishanga pesa ya
bodaboda. Pale karibu na
River Thuti pamejaa waizi.
lazima unyongwe.
14. Hakuna kukopesheo fobe.
Lakini ukitaka, asha simu na
uongese interest ya 30% — at
Othaya Town
TULIA.........UFUNZWE!
simonkabz
#2 Posted : Monday, January 07, 2013 10:50:18 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/2/2007
Posts: 8,776
Location: Cameroon
lol! No.10 is a killer.
TULIA.........UFUNZWE!
washiku
#3 Posted : Monday, January 07, 2013 1:29:28 PM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
Hehehe...I saw a different version too. See below:
1. Ukifanya order, unaturia,
usishide umekubusha waiter, yeye ni mutu mzima anakubuka.
2. Ukirewa urewe peke yako,
usianze kuiba nyibo za Kigooco
huku. Ukitaka kuiba eda crusade.
3. Huku hakuna dance floor. Kwa hivo usika dance huku, hii ni bar, sio carnivorous (Carnivore)
4. Urinal ziko. Kukonjoa ni sawa. Ukitaka hanja kubwa,mariza fobe yako uede ukakumie kwako. Huku hakuna choo. Tunauzaga fobe si Ugari.
5. Kufugia waiter jicho uwache.
Unamfugia jicho kwani umeskia ni daktari wa macho.
6. Ukinunuria waiter pobe, sio
kumaanicha ati utaeda na yeye kwako. Ako hapa kuuza fobe, sio kuuza mwiri, mununurie na uede.
7. Kumwaga mwaga fobe kwa meza
tumekataa! Urinunua ukunywe ama
umwage?
8. Huku hakuna Maraya. Ukitaka maraya kuja na wako, na akuwe
maraya anaereweka tafathari.
9. Wakati Mike Rua ama Salim Junia
anaiba, tafathari usiibanishe na yeye. NYAMAZA watu warikuja kusikiza Rua, sio wewe. Ukitaka kuiba, tuabie tukutafutie Saturday yako.
10. Kushika shika waiter matako ni
hatia! Shika matako yako, huku si
bedroom.
11. Maneno ya CORD na JUBILEE
perekeni Fesbuk. Sio hapa!
12. Kuwekewa mchere kwa fobe si
kitu kubwa, ukiwekewa, unaitoa na
unaederea na Fobe yako kama kawaida.
13. HAKUNA kurara kwa Meza! Meza
sio kitada. Kama umerewa, eda ukarare kwako.
14. Ukiibiwa pesa eda ukastaki kwa
borithi, si ati ukuje kusubua Manager.
15. Tip ni razima! Kama pesa yako
haitoshi ya tip, nunua pobe take
away ukakunywie kwako.
16. Huku hakuna bouncer! Rakini
ukireta nyokonyoko tutakunyorosha
kama Mukora.
17. Usitapike huku. Hii ni Bar, sio
Clinic ya Watoto. Unatapika kwani
uko na Miba??
simonkabz
#4 Posted : Monday, January 07, 2013 1:36:37 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/2/2007
Posts: 8,776
Location: Cameroon
tehehehehehe no. 16.
TULIA.........UFUNZWE!
Obi 1 Kanobi
#5 Posted : Monday, January 07, 2013 1:47:12 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 7/23/2008
Posts: 3,017
'Kukumia" remember this from when we were young
"The purpose of bureaucracy is to compensate for incompetence and lack of discipline." James Collins
simonkabz
#6 Posted : Monday, January 07, 2013 8:13:08 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/2/2007
Posts: 8,776
Location: Cameroon

SPOTTEd AGAIN! IN OTHAYA...

.Usinitumie friend request
kama wewe na mutu wa hapa area.
Sitayari sisi ni marafiki hapa Othaya? Unataka urafiki mwigine
wa nini ??
.Nikikubari fred request
yako,tafathari wacha
kuniadikia kwa wor ,ati
"thanx..." .Unanishukuru kwani ni nyuba nimekuripia rent ??
.Mimi sipedi ware watu
wanaweka update
mureeeeefu !
Time ya kusoma ndio hatuna hapa Othaya! Unaweka update
murefu kwani ni agreement ya
shamba ??!
.Ujinga ya kueka picha ya
mutoto mugojwa arafu unaniabia ati
"ONE RIKE(LIKE) equals One PRAYER " sitaki ! Sikuigia FB
niobee watoto, Kwani mimi ni
Bishop Gitari ?? Niriigia FB
kushoshiorais.
.Ware watu wanapeda kuweka update harafu wanamarizia
"HIT RIKE'' wawache ujiga! Nikiona mutu akiniabia ati "hit rike" sio"rike" nitaHIT, NI WEWE NITA HIT!
.Naona ati watu wana attend "event" . Harafu hapo kado ya
event naona pisha zingine za matako na mboro! Uko sure hiyo ni "event" ama ni bedroom??
Na bona hamuniariki twede??
.Nikiweka update RAZIMA
muRIKE. Unakataa kuRIKE
kwani ukiRIKE utaripishwo???
.Hakuna haja ya kureta matusi kwa status yangu. Kuja BIASHARA BIULDING, stall number
24 ,unitukanie hapo
nikuonyeshe!!!
.Naona kuna kajamaa
kanajichocha sana kanajiita
CABU GAH. Ati C.E.O! C.E.O kitu gani na hata kwa profile pisha yake
hakana nguo? C.E.O mgani
anavaaga vest kwa ofisi ??
.Nimeorewa . Kwa ivyo SITAKI kukatiwa! .unanikatia kwani ni
miwa ??
.Kama unataka kurara rara!
Unatuabia "Am going to bed" kwani unataka tukuje
tukuzimie stima??
.Ware wajinga wanapeda
kusema ati "Hit RIKE If U Love Jesus,Ignore for Satan"
AKI YA MUGU kujeni BIASHARA BIULDING, stall number 24 mujaribu kuniabia hivio!
Nitawang'oa meno na heel ya kiatu!!
.Nikicomment kwa status
yako HIO STORY IMEISHIA HAPO. Usianze ati kureta
conversation
mureeeefu! Ukitaka kuogea eda ukaogee bunge!
Na kama unaeda mahari wacha kutuabia ,"Nairobi here I come"!
Hatutaki kujua! Mbona ukieda choo hautuabiagi ,"Toiret here I come???....ntk!
TULIA.........UFUNZWE!
wazuaguest
#7 Posted : Monday, January 07, 2013 9:21:53 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 2/9/2012
Posts: 576
FUNNIEST! Why lie.
Africa belongs to Africans.
Coolio
#8 Posted : Monday, January 07, 2013 10:43:56 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/28/2008
Posts: 2,276
Location: Kibish
Hilarious! but why othaya?
Nadondosha meli kubwa seuze ngalawa!
sherrif
#9 Posted : Monday, January 07, 2013 10:52:29 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 7/27/2012
Posts: 169
Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

I like.The othaya fb guy is not smiling.
Impunity
#10 Posted : Monday, January 07, 2013 11:04:09 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,334
Location: Masada
Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Can someone bring dem for Luhyas too.
Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

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