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Involve Your Spouse In financial Decision Making
Rank: Elder Joined: 12/9/2009 Posts: 6,592 Location: Nairobi
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faa wrote:Giving your wife some shareholding to your wife isnt advisable. @faa, why not? What would you be afraid of? I ask again, why marry someone you don't trust while you could have lived together 'no strings attached'?
BBI will solve it :)
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Rank: Member Joined: 12/21/2009 Posts: 602
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I agree with those stating the importance of wills, trusts, and specifics of what a family should do in the event that a spouse/parent is no longer alive. If these can be joint decisions involving spouses and children, all the better.
I have seen many women who lived a life of luxury in Kenya leave to go work as nurse aids in the US when their husbands die. Some of these women learned after the fact that their lifestyle was financed by loans that used their husbands badly managed businesses, land and houses etc as collateral. The husbands never saw the need to inform their spouses and the women never asked
Very sad...and a bit retarded in a modern day world...
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Rank: Member Joined: 1/22/2011 Posts: 193 Location: nairobi
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tom_boy wrote:FRM2011 wrote:Am happy to note the balance of power in most wazua households is still intact in a way that would make our grandfathers proud. Hiding your finances from your spouse has nothing to do with power and everything to do with fear, corwardice, stupidity, selfishness and pride. If you intend to marry, marry someone you trust. I always ask myself, if she steals from me, what is the worst that will happen?.... nothing... I will continue living and working and making more money. I also flip the coin and ask "what possible reason could she have to steal from me?" Have I made her insecure? Have I acted or said things that would make her think or feel insecure about a future with me? Its a fear dance between the spouses that only leads to destruction! 
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Rank: User Joined: 5/3/2011 Posts: 559
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2012 wrote:Drunkard wrote:As long as she is not a kikuyu, you're save!
Since you are being tribal, believe me you would be lucky if you married a Kikuyu woman, they know how to build wealth. I have been dating a kikuyu for 2 yrs now, we hold a 7 figure joint account but she very much don't care about it since she also make her own money. I am a Kalenjin and the last time I took her up country my grandfather made sure he pulled me a side and warned me about her, the old man is actually seriously concerned! I tried to explain to him that she actually grew up in the west and she is only half Kikuyu and she can't even communicate in Kikuyu but the old man wasn't having that, he said she is still a kikuyu regardless.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/2/2011 Posts: 4,818 Location: -1.2107, 36.8831
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Drunkard wrote:2012 wrote:Drunkard wrote:As long as she is not a kikuyu, you're save!
Since you are being tribal, believe me you would be lucky if you married a Kikuyu woman, they know how to build wealth. I have been dating a kikuyu for 2 yrs now, we hold a 7 figure joint account but she very much don't care about it since she also make her own money. Why do you find pride in lying. Initialy u state that you cannot trust a kikuyu, then later you say you have a joint account with a kikuyu. Which is which? A 7 figures joint account with someone you are dating? You must be on your way out of this world. Ukifika huko, salimia sana Jomo Kenyatta, and tell him his son is suspected of facilitating RAPE, MURDER, ARSON, FORCEFULL EVICTION OF PEOPLE, CIRCUMCISION etc. Receive with simplicity everything that happens to you.” ― Rashi
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/11/2012 Posts: 5,222
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dunkang wrote:Drunkard wrote:2012 wrote:Drunkard wrote:As long as she is not a kikuyu, you're save!
Since you are being tribal, believe me you would be lucky if you married a Kikuyu woman, they know how to build wealth. I have been dating a kikuyu for 2 yrs now, we hold a 7 figure joint account but she very much don't care about it since she also make her own money. Why do you find pride in lying. Initialy u state that you cannot trust a kikuyu, then later you say you have a joint account with a kikuyu. Which is which? A 7 figures joint account with someone you are dating? You must be on your way out of this world. Ukifika huko, salimia sana Jomo Kenyatta, and tell him his son is suspected of facilitating RAPE, MURDER, ARSON, FORCEFULL EVICTION OF PEOPLE, CIRCUMCISION etc.  Please consider our ribs!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/21/2008 Posts: 2,490
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dunkang wrote:Drunkard wrote:2012 wrote:Drunkard wrote:As long as she is not a kikuyu, you're save!
Since you are being tribal, believe me you would be lucky if you married a Kikuyu woman, they know how to build wealth. I have been dating a kikuyu for 2 yrs now, we hold a 7 figure joint account but she very much don't care about it since she also make her own money. Why do you find pride in lying. Initialy u state that you cannot trust a kikuyu, then later you say you have a joint account with a kikuyu. Which is which? A 7 figures joint account with someone you are dating? You must be on your way out of this world. Ukifika huko, salimia sana Jomo Kenyatta, and tell him his son is suspected of facilitating RAPE, MURDER, ARSON, FORCEFULL EVICTION OF PEOPLE, CIRCUMCISION etc. Ouch!!! Below the belt.. The man who marries a beautiful woman, and the farmer who grows corn by the roadside have the same problem
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Rank: User Joined: 5/3/2011 Posts: 559
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dunkang wrote:Drunkard wrote:2012 wrote:Drunkard wrote:As long as she is not a kikuyu, you're save!
Since you are being tribal, believe me you would be lucky if you married a Kikuyu woman, they know how to build wealth. I have been dating a kikuyu for 2 yrs now, we hold a 7 figure joint account but she very much don't care about it since she also make her own money. Why do you find pride in lying. Initialy u state that you cannot trust a kikuyu, then later you say you have a joint account with a kikuyu. Which is which? A 7 figures joint account with someone you are dating? You must be on your way out of this world. Ukifika huko, salimia sana Jomo Kenyatta, and tell him his son is suspected of facilitating RAPE, MURDER, ARSON, FORCEFULL EVICTION OF PEOPLE, CIRCUMCISION etc. @Dunkang There is a difference between Kikuyus as a community and Kikuyus as individual Just like there are differences between Kalenjins as a community and Kalenjins as individual. People who have built relationships in individual level do not even realize the tribal differences infact the only fear people have is the fear of unknown. I might not like Kikuyus as a community and that is driven by fear of 15 million people that I have been told they are bad people but when it come to individual level they are just ordinary families. 7 figure? that is like KSK 1 M-9m right? About half of that is her money and about half is mine.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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2012 wrote:faa wrote:Giving your wife some shareholding to your wife isnt advisable. @faa, why not? What would you be afraid of? I ask again, why marry someone you don't trust while you could have lived together 'no strings attached'? Why why why??? ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: Member Joined: 5/8/2007 Posts: 709
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McReggae wrote:2012 wrote:faa wrote:Giving your wife some shareholding to your wife isnt advisable. @faa, why not? What would you be afraid of? I ask again, why marry someone you don't trust while you could have lived together 'no strings attached'? Why why why??? Well,it's not a matter of being afraid or lack of trust, its just not wise... Same reason as to why the logbook of your wife's car bears your name, and not hers.
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 10/23/2012 Posts: 28
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I overheard a man say "don't tell me how to deal with my wife". we cant generalize the matter as some women are wise and others are not. Whether to involve ur spouse or not depends on ur marriage. Read the signs n trust God for wisdom. don't die early neither should your wife nor leave ur kids broke. The Main thing is making the Main thing the Main thing.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 12/21/2011 Posts: 1,010
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if u don't trust her/him,dont marry her/him . point blank. if u have married her,divorce her. coz nothing will eva change.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/2/2009 Posts: 2,458 Location: Nairobi
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tom_boy wrote:FRM2011 wrote:Am happy to note the balance of power in most wazua households is still intact in a way that would make our grandfathers proud. Hiding your finances from your spouse has nothing to do with power and everything to do with fear, corwardice, stupidity, selfishness and pride. If you intend to marry, marry someone you trust. I always ask myself, if she steals from me, what is the worst that will happen?.... nothing... I will continue living and working and making more money. I also flip the coin and ask "what possible reason could she have to steal from me?" Have I made her insecure? Have I acted or said things that would make her think or feel insecure about a future with me? Its a fear dance between the spouses that only leads to destruction! How about she doesn't want to steal.. just 'waste' it.. waste here i mean.. your priorities and hers are different. and your share of contribution to the pool is bigger..
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 12/21/2011 Posts: 1,010
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@poundfoolish,if she wants to waste it,drill some sense into her skull.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/2/2009 Posts: 2,458 Location: Nairobi
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wilyum wrote:@poundfoolish,if she wants to waste it,drill some sense into her skull. You know how emotional they are and tend to reason out stuff with emotions.. How do you politely and kindly drill it to into her head as you would to a 4 year old
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,328 Location: Masada
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poundfoolish wrote:wilyum wrote:@poundfoolish,if she wants to waste it,drill some sense into her skull. You know how emotional they are and tend to reason out stuff with emotions.. How do you politely and kindly drill it to into her head as you would to a 4 year old Using a vertical drilling machine. Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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Rank: Member Joined: 8/5/2010 Posts: 335 Location: Nairobi
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2012 wrote:faa wrote:Giving your wife some shareholding to your wife isnt advisable. @faa, why not? What would you be afraid of? I ask again, why marry someone you don't trust while you could have lived together 'no strings attached'? We should, of course, marry people we trust. Trust provides comfort but on its own is of no value otherwise. Same for comfort. My advice... wear a seat belt despite the fact that you are a very good driver and you trust yourself behind the wheel pay a lawyer even if you trust your business associates with your money and your life The opposite of Love is not Hate. It's Indifference. There is a fine line between love and hate, so easy to cross over you might not notice. Our marriages will work much of the time; but not always. Then, as much as we were loved, we shall be equally hated. Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned. "I'd rather be lucky than clever... every time!" - ME
"The problem is not what we don't know... it's what we know for sure that just ain't!" - MARK TWAIN
"Space we can recover... time never!" - NAPOLEON BONAPARTE
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Rank: Member Joined: 8/5/2010 Posts: 335 Location: Nairobi
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Genghis Khan wrote:2012 wrote:faa wrote:Giving your wife some shareholding to your wife isnt advisable. @faa, why not? What would you be afraid of? I ask again, why marry someone you don't trust while you could have lived together 'no strings attached'? We should, of course, marry people we trust. Trust provides comfort but on its own is of no value otherwise. Same for comfort. My advice... wear a seat belt despite the fact that you are a very good driver and you trust yourself behind the wheel pay a lawyer even if you trust your business associates with your money and your life The opposite of Love is not Hate. It's Indifference. There is a fine line between love and hate, so easy to cross over you might not notice. Our marriages will work much of the time; but not always. Then, as much as we were loved, we shall be equally hated. Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned. and get her to sign a pre-nup if you can sell it... (if you are getting engaged, just after she's shown all her jealous friends the ring, might work) "I'd rather be lucky than clever... every time!" - ME
"The problem is not what we don't know... it's what we know for sure that just ain't!" - MARK TWAIN
"Space we can recover... time never!" - NAPOLEON BONAPARTE
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/20/2012 Posts: 3,855 Location: Othumo
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Impunity wrote:poundfoolish wrote:wilyum wrote:@poundfoolish,if she wants to waste it,drill some sense into her skull. You know how emotional they are and tend to reason out stuff with emotions.. How do you politely and kindly drill it to into her head as you would to a 4 year old Using a vertical drilling machine. using very good screwing methods Thieves
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