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Stay at home mums
tom_boy
#1 Posted : Wednesday, November 21, 2012 11:06:56 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 2/20/2007
Posts: 767
My wife wants to quit her job and begin to stay at home and take care of the children(2)until they are ready to go to school. Does anyone have an experience of such a situation and how did it end up. It will involve alot of sacrifice financially and I don't know if it is worth it.
They must find it difficult....... those who have taken authority as the truth, rather than truth as the authority. -G. Massey.
Mukiri
#2 Posted : Wednesday, November 21, 2012 11:34:19 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/11/2012
Posts: 5,222
Out of curiosity, how old are the children? How old are the two of you?

Proverbs 19:21
Impunity
#3 Posted : Wednesday, November 21, 2012 11:43:33 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,328
Location: Masada
A lazy wife who fears waking up in the morning and holding up n traffic, but I may be wrong.
Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

dunkang
#4 Posted : Wednesday, November 21, 2012 11:52:05 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/2/2011
Posts: 4,818
Location: -1.2107, 36.8831
Usikubali. How i pray my wife had a job apunguze kunidai saloon etc money.
Receive with simplicity everything that happens to you.” ― Rashi

alma
#5 Posted : Thursday, November 22, 2012 7:20:57 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/20/2007
Posts: 4,432
tom_boy it was the best decision we ever made.
Jose: If I make it through this thug life, I'll see you one day. The Lord is the only way to stop the hurt.
mizizi
#6 Posted : Thursday, November 22, 2012 7:52:17 AM
Rank: New-farer


Joined: 7/23/2012
Posts: 42
I think it's a good idea if you can afford it..nothing beats peace of mind knowing your children are well taken care of!! But i'm also of the idea she should have something else to occupy her mind other than the kids...a small business or some classes

Na hii maneno ya kuogopa being asked for saloon money..ukienda kukywa fri isn't that money you are spending!?
Robinhood
#7 Posted : Thursday, November 22, 2012 7:54:28 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 12/11/2008
Posts: 2,306
dunkang wrote:
Usikubali. How i pray my wife had a job apunguze kunidai saloon etc money.


Hi Dunk.. I thought you were single and afraid of getting married.

After several episodes with house helps, I assure you that this is not such a bad idea. You will only have a very limited window in which to shape your children's lives, after which you hand then over to the world, teachers, house helps Etc
Great men are not always wise, neither do the aged understand judgement...
qadaffi
#8 Posted : Thursday, November 22, 2012 8:24:29 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 1/8/2009
Posts: 67
Whatever decision that you finally take, make sure you and your wife are in agreement and all concerns have been put on the table openly. Otherwise, trouble looms down the road.
Euge
#9 Posted : Thursday, November 22, 2012 8:24:49 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 8/4/2008
Posts: 2,849
Location: Rupi
Good idea. With the story of mayaya, great she wants to take care of the kids.She can also do kidogo reading to position herself for the day she will want to get back to formal employment.
Lord, thank you!
Money Whisperer
#10 Posted : Thursday, November 22, 2012 8:45:41 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 8/7/2010
Posts: 728
Location: Wazuaville
Here is the story of a friend of mine who lives in Athi River. Wife earns 20K. when they calculated the transport, lunch and salary ya nanny they figured out that it balances or even goes above 20K then they did a cost benefit analysis focussed on the kids: the risk of nannies abusing kids, nannies being a headache and having to keep changing them (issues za househelp bureaus) and above all nothing beats having mum raise the kids. so wife quit jobo and they lived happily ever after
"Money never sleeps"
alma
#11 Posted : Thursday, November 22, 2012 8:55:58 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/20/2007
Posts: 4,432
This is how its usually done.

Stories of mayaya are all over the world. So she can take a few years off and take care of the family during the early stages of the child.

In the meantime, let her improve her education or business skills as she awaits going back to the work force or business, when she's ready to.

By the way, this is how the outsourcing industry started as well as internet marketing. Stay at home moms make the best employees.
Jose: If I make it through this thug life, I'll see you one day. The Lord is the only way to stop the hurt.
AlphDoti
#12 Posted : Thursday, November 22, 2012 9:14:49 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,275
Location: Kenya
@tom_boy I can see that you two have a healthy conversation with each other, kuddos!

This is big debate sometimes. Some people might wonder "why". But you know sometimes it is necessary and everything has benefits.

NB: My wife remained housewife early in our marriage until when the last kid went to school. I think this really helped to have close observation on the kids.

So
- You need to ensure that the family is going to be able to survive with your single income.
- The truth is, your wife staying at home is alot of work for her.
- She will have big opportunity to teach her children, to bring them up with good manners and education and keeps the household running smoothly.
- It important for you to let her have a network of other responsible women to have get togethers and chamas.
- Also plan regular family outings to let the children get some interaction from other children.
- And as @alma says, if it's possible, she can take studies in the meantime
sitaki.kujulikana
#13 Posted : Thursday, November 22, 2012 9:14:58 AM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 8/25/2012
Posts: 1,826
if its her decision and you can afford it, go for it, but remember the children will be in school very soon and she will not have much to do then - make sure you address that.
Lolest!
#14 Posted : Thursday, November 22, 2012 9:17:56 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/18/2011
Posts: 12,069
Location: Kianjokoma
Good move. Kids love being with their mum. You will be at peace knowing they are in good hands.
Laughing out loudly smile Applause d'oh! Sad Drool Liar Shame on you Pray
TAZ
#15 Posted : Thursday, November 22, 2012 10:02:55 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/14/2007
Posts: 4,152
I think its a very good idea as long as both of you are comfortable with it. I think parents should do all they can to spend more time with their kids especially between the ages of 0-5 years.
Impunity
#16 Posted : Thursday, November 22, 2012 10:08:33 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,328
Location: Masada
tom_boy wrote:
My wife wants to quit her job and begin to stay at home and take care of the children(2)until they are ready to go to school. Does anyone have an experience of such a situation and how did it end up. It will involve alot of sacrifice financially and I don't know if it is worth it.


Ahaaa!
Ile landing utapatiwo every night wacha tu.
There will be nothing tiring her up the whole day like assignments at job or a stressing boss...when you come back in the evening she will on you na ole wako ukisema ujiskii!!!
Pray
Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

AlphDoti
#17 Posted : Thursday, November 22, 2012 10:19:17 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,275
Location: Kenya
Impunity wrote:
tom_boy wrote:
My wife wants to quit her job and begin to stay at home and take care of the children(2)...

Ahaaa!
Ile landing utapatiwo every night wacha tu.
There will be nothing tiring her up the whole day like assignments at job or a stressing boss...when you come back in the evening she will on you na ole wako ukisema ujiskii!!! Pray

I wanted to say this lakini... @impunity ametoboa.

One other important thing: appreciate her alot and remember to carry home gifts quite often, even if it is lolipop!
famooz
#18 Posted : Thursday, November 22, 2012 10:21:09 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/19/2007
Posts: 2,047
Ignore @ Impunity and take all this great advice. It is a great idea if well planned.
I know people who did this and they say it is great- however,after some time,they got bored,so try and address that as well....what other activity ( that is not a full time job or school) can make this experience enriching for her...

Good luck !
Gathige
#19 Posted : Thursday, November 22, 2012 10:31:35 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/29/2011
Posts: 2,242
@ tom_boy, Go for it bro. It will give you peace of mind and a good upbringing for the kids until they start going to school. Did it myself and have never regretted it. My wife quit her job to take care of the kids and after they went to school she started her own biashara which gives her freedom and time to be around home at her convenience. But be kali kidogo so that she does not use the time at home to join the local"muchene clubs" or turn your house to a meeting place for "mamas".
"Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least." Goethe
Kaka M
#20 Posted : Thursday, November 22, 2012 11:15:44 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 4/18/2011
Posts: 459
mizizi wrote:
I think it's a good idea if you can afford it..nothing beats peace of mind knowing your children are well taken care of!! But i'm also of the idea she should have something else to occupy her mind other than the kids...a small business or some classes

Na hii maneno ya kuogopa being asked for saloon money..ukienda kukywa fri isn't that money you are spending!?



The idea of a side business is very good and you can use it as way of both of you boosting your income and if possible moving into self employment all together once your various investments pick up.
Let mama concentrate on the kids and as soon as they go to school(in a few years) she can start a business with the long term goal of both of you being self employed. I assume that you have such dreams and have considered all other factors necessary.
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