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Stay at home mums
Rank: Member Joined: 2/20/2007 Posts: 767
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My wife wants to quit her job and begin to stay at home and take care of the children(2)until they are ready to go to school. Does anyone have an experience of such a situation and how did it end up. It will involve alot of sacrifice financially and I don't know if it is worth it. They must find it difficult....... those who have taken authority as the truth, rather than truth as the authority. -G. Massey.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/11/2012 Posts: 5,222
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Out of curiosity, how old are the children? How old are the two of you?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,328 Location: Masada
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A lazy wife who fears waking up in the morning and holding up n traffic, but I may be wrong. Portfolio: Sold You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/2/2011 Posts: 4,818 Location: -1.2107, 36.8831
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Usikubali. How i pray my wife had a job apunguze kunidai saloon etc money. Receive with simplicity everything that happens to you.” ― Rashi
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/20/2007 Posts: 4,432
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tom_boy it was the best decision we ever made. Jose: If I make it through this thug life, I'll see you one day. The Lord is the only way to stop the hurt.
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 7/23/2012 Posts: 42
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I think it's a good idea if you can afford it..nothing beats peace of mind knowing your children are well taken care of!! But i'm also of the idea she should have something else to occupy her mind other than the kids...a small business or some classes
Na hii maneno ya kuogopa being asked for saloon money..ukienda kukywa fri isn't that money you are spending!?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/11/2008 Posts: 2,306
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dunkang wrote:Usikubali. How i pray my wife had a job apunguze kunidai saloon etc money. Hi Dunk.. I thought you were single and afraid of getting married. After several episodes with house helps, I assure you that this is not such a bad idea. You will only have a very limited window in which to shape your children's lives, after which you hand then over to the world, teachers, house helps Etc Great men are not always wise, neither do the aged understand judgement...
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Rank: Member Joined: 1/8/2009 Posts: 67
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Whatever decision that you finally take, make sure you and your wife are in agreement and all concerns have been put on the table openly. Otherwise, trouble looms down the road.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 8/4/2008 Posts: 2,849 Location: Rupi
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Good idea. With the story of mayaya, great she wants to take care of the kids.She can also do kidogo reading to position herself for the day she will want to get back to formal employment. Lord, thank you!
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Rank: Member Joined: 8/7/2010 Posts: 728 Location: Wazuaville
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Here is the story of a friend of mine who lives in Athi River. Wife earns 20K. when they calculated the transport, lunch and salary ya nanny they figured out that it balances or even goes above 20K then they did a cost benefit analysis focussed on the kids: the risk of nannies abusing kids, nannies being a headache and having to keep changing them (issues za househelp bureaus) and above all nothing beats having mum raise the kids. so wife quit jobo and they lived happily ever after "Money never sleeps"
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/20/2007 Posts: 4,432
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This is how its usually done. Stories of mayaya are all over the world. So she can take a few years off and take care of the family during the early stages of the child. In the meantime, let her improve her education or business skills as she awaits going back to the work force or business, when she's ready to. By the way, this is how the outsourcing industry started as well as internet marketing. Stay at home moms make the best employees. Jose: If I make it through this thug life, I'll see you one day. The Lord is the only way to stop the hurt.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/20/2008 Posts: 6,275 Location: Kenya
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@tom_boy I can see that you two have a healthy conversation with each other, kuddos!
This is big debate sometimes. Some people might wonder "why". But you know sometimes it is necessary and everything has benefits. NB: My wife remained housewife early in our marriage until when the last kid went to school. I think this really helped to have close observation on the kids.
So - You need to ensure that the family is going to be able to survive with your single income. - The truth is, your wife staying at home is alot of work for her. - She will have big opportunity to teach her children, to bring them up with good manners and education and keeps the household running smoothly. - It important for you to let her have a network of other responsible women to have get togethers and chamas. - Also plan regular family outings to let the children get some interaction from other children. - And as @alma says, if it's possible, she can take studies in the meantime
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 8/25/2012 Posts: 1,826
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if its her decision and you can afford it, go for it, but remember the children will be in school very soon and she will not have much to do then - make sure you address that.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/18/2011 Posts: 12,069 Location: Kianjokoma
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Good move. Kids love being with their mum. You will be at peace knowing they are in good hands.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/14/2007 Posts: 4,152
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I think its a very good idea as long as both of you are comfortable with it. I think parents should do all they can to spend more time with their kids especially between the ages of 0-5 years.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,328 Location: Masada
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tom_boy wrote:My wife wants to quit her job and begin to stay at home and take care of the children(2)until they are ready to go to school. Does anyone have an experience of such a situation and how did it end up. It will involve alot of sacrifice financially and I don't know if it is worth it. Ahaaa! Ile landing utapatiwo every night wacha tu. There will be nothing tiring her up the whole day like assignments at job or a stressing boss...when you come back in the evening she will on you na ole wako ukisema ujiskii!!! Portfolio: Sold You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/20/2008 Posts: 6,275 Location: Kenya
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Impunity wrote:tom_boy wrote:My wife wants to quit her job and begin to stay at home and take care of the children(2)... Ahaaa! Ile landing utapatiwo every night wacha tu. There will be nothing tiring her up the whole day like assignments at job or a stressing boss...when you come back in the evening she will on you na ole wako ukisema ujiskii!!! I wanted to say this lakini... @impunity ametoboa. One other important thing: appreciate her alot and remember to carry home gifts quite often, even if it is lolipop!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/19/2007 Posts: 2,047
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Ignore @ Impunity and take all this great advice. It is a great idea if well planned. I know people who did this and they say it is great- however,after some time,they got bored,so try and address that as well....what other activity ( that is not a full time job or school) can make this experience enriching for her...
Good luck !
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/29/2011 Posts: 2,242
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@ tom_boy, Go for it bro. It will give you peace of mind and a good upbringing for the kids until they start going to school. Did it myself and have never regretted it. My wife quit her job to take care of the kids and after they went to school she started her own biashara which gives her freedom and time to be around home at her convenience. But be kali kidogo so that she does not use the time at home to join the local"muchene clubs" or turn your house to a meeting place for "mamas". "Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least." Goethe
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Rank: Member Joined: 4/18/2011 Posts: 459
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mizizi wrote:I think it's a good idea if you can afford it..nothing beats peace of mind knowing your children are well taken care of!! But i'm also of the idea she should have something else to occupy her mind other than the kids...a small business or some classes
Na hii maneno ya kuogopa being asked for saloon money..ukienda kukywa fri isn't that money you are spending!? The idea of a side business is very good and you can use it as way of both of you boosting your income and if possible moving into self employment all together once your various investments pick up. Let mama concentrate on the kids and as soon as they go to school(in a few years) she can start a business with the long term goal of both of you being self employed. I assume that you have such dreams and have considered all other factors necessary.
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