@freiks, I feel your frustrations.
Try to panel beat her in a respectful way.
But be careful, I said here before that there is an hadith that compares women to a 'crooked rib'.
"
Treat women well. The woman was created from a rib. The most bent part of the rib is the top part. If you try to straighten it, you will break it. If you leave it, it remains bent. So treat women well."
In Islam people look at four things in woman (or man), they plan to marry:
(i). Virtue (her religion or religiousness)
(ii). Noble (her family status)
(iii). Wealth (her wealth)
(iv). Beauty (her beauty)
Being outgoing is not one of the qualities of good mother or wife. I think she's a good mother and wife already. You want her to give you company in your social endevours. I think you've right, but if she is not that kind of person, I think you should understand her nature.
If she is pious woman, who is has obedience to creator, then love her the way she is. I think you should hang out with responsible friends, who you will hang out with, and they will not lead you to womanizing.
Have fun, and when you come back home, bring her a gift once in a while. Call her wherever you are telling her you think about her and you love her.
Take her out with children once in a while to outings for nyama choma or ice-cream for children.
I think she is that kind of person who will appreciate.
NOTE:
- make sure you fulfill her physical needs at home
- Keep house boys and watchmen out of your boma
- keep away those distant relas.
If you were Muslim, I would recommend you talk to her and let her know you will marry another wife. Then look for an outgoing type, but take care of both of them equally.