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Psychologically unhealthy father-daughter relationships
alikujia
#11 Posted : Sunday, August 05, 2012 5:24:56 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 5/27/2010
Posts: 324
Location: nrb
@Frangipani
hiyo academy yako ni ya wapi?
limanika
#12 Posted : Sunday, August 05, 2012 6:12:06 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 9/21/2011
Posts: 2,032
Frangipani wrote:
My fellow Wazuans,

My academic background is partly in psychology and having read the story in today's Sunday Nation about Ruth Matete and her dad, I feel uneasy. From a therapist's perspective, it is a classic case of what in psychology is known as emotional incest.

The link is http://www.nation.co.ke/...8/-/bjtp7j/-/index.html

I would like to know what other Wazuans think. Regards.

They are unfortunate victims of circumstances and there is much we do not know. Let them be
essyk
#13 Posted : Sunday, August 05, 2012 6:29:18 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 11/15/2011
Posts: 4,518
limanika wrote:

They are unfortunate victims of circumstances and there is much we do not know. Let them be


You must have heard this over and over.
When life hands you lemons you make lemonade

That is exactly what Ruth and his Dad did.
They are far much better than many I know.
"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
josiah33
#14 Posted : Sunday, August 05, 2012 8:31:49 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 1/27/2011
Posts: 1,777
Hiyo psychology ya pangipangi university unakuonesha mambo yako tofauti. Enyewe huyo Ruth ako na maringo mingi sana na kama unasema babake ali spoil daughter yake ninge understand. Lakini hii psychological incest yako jamani.
josiah33
#15 Posted : Sunday, August 05, 2012 8:38:15 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 1/27/2011
Posts: 1,777
WIKIPAEDIA SAYS THIS ABOUT PSYCHOLOGICAL INCEST(Don't know if that's what happening between Ruth and his Dad as Frangipani wants to tell us):-
Covert incest refers to a form of emotional abuse in which the relationship between a parent and a child is inappropriately sexualized without actual sexual contact.[1][2] Substance abuse is thought to be associated with covert incest.[3] The effects of covert incest are thought to mimic actual incest though to a lesser degree,[4] and Kenneth Adams, who originated the concept, describes the victims having anger or guilt towards parents and issues with self-esteem, addiction and sexual and emotional intimacy.[2]

Covert incest was defined in the 1980s[1] as an emotionally abusive[5] relationship between a parent (or stepparent) and child that does not involve incest or sexual intercourse, though it involves similar interpersonal dynamics as a relationship between sexual partners;[1][6][7] it has also been described as a parent responding to a child's love with adult sexuality.[8] Problems between parents often facilitate covert incest; as the parents distance themselves from each other both physically and emotionally, one parent may begin focusing on his/her child. The child becomes the surrogate partner and source of emotional support for the parent.[9] The abusing parent may also be afraid or unable to meet their needs through a relationship with another adult.[5] Alcoholism and other substance addictions are also associated with the occurrence of covert incest.[3][10]

Covert incest occurs when a parent is unable or unwilling to maintain a relationship with another adult and forces the emotional role of a spouse onto their child instead.[5] The child's needs are ignored and instead the relationship exists solely to meet the needs of the parent[11] and the adult may not be aware of the issues created by their actions.[12]

Jungian analyst and author Marion Woodman describes psychic incest as "unboundaried bonding" in which the parent or parents use the child as a mirror to support their needs, rather than mirroring the child in support of the child's emotional development.[13] Woodman considers psychic incest to damage the internal experience of the "parental complexes," described in Jungian analysis as a combination of actual interaction with the parents and the innate mother and father archetypes; according to Woodman, when these are damaged due to covert incest, an affected individual can experience distress in their personal relationships and sexual relationships in particular.
essyk
#16 Posted : Sunday, August 05, 2012 8:38:58 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 11/15/2011
Posts: 4,518
Kenyans never cease to amaze me.

If a girl from a humble background rises up to become an achiever,ako na pedho.
If it were a boy the story would be different.

lakini this covert incest can only be played by a paedophile.
how can one relate with their own child sexually except they have a legion of demons.
"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
seeker*
#17 Posted : Sunday, August 05, 2012 8:50:28 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 9/11/2009
Posts: 132
Location: nairobi
wow! this covert incest is interesting.
Don't fight a battle if you gain nothing by winning.” Erwin Rommel
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, thought like a child, and reasoned like a child. When I became an adult, I no longer used childish ways.
jamplu
#18 Posted : Sunday, August 05, 2012 9:15:37 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 3/25/2010
Posts: 939
Location: Nai
essyk wrote:
Kenyans never cease to amaze me.

If a girl from a humble background rises up to become an achiever,ako na pedho.
If it were a boy the story would be different.

lakini this covert incest can only be played by a paedophile.
how can one relate with their own child sexually except they have a legion of demons.


@essyk its just crazy how some people give their opinions based on little knowledge.
rryyzz
#19 Posted : Monday, August 06, 2012 9:09:42 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 5/19/2012
Posts: 552
Frangipani wrote:
My fellow Wazuans,

My academic background is partly in psychology and having read the story in today's Sunday Nation about Ruth Matete and her dad, I feel uneasy. From a therapist's perspective, it is a classic case of what in psychology is known as emotional incest.

The link is http://www.nation.co.ke/...8/-/bjtp7j/-/index.html

I would like to know what other Wazuans think. Regards.



A father brings up his child in the best way he knows how and you're here judging himShame on you . How many fathers are close to their children? What most know is to provide financial support, mambo kwisha....Please let them be.
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.... Leo Buscaglia
Money Whisperer
#20 Posted : Monday, August 06, 2012 9:23:03 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 8/7/2010
Posts: 728
Location: Wazuaville
Being a single parent is tough and one has to toggle between two roles of both mother and father, it's more difficult for a father. A single father cannot afford to be a tyrant. where there's a mother a father should be a tyrant to create a hierarchy of discipline because a mother in her role as the nourisher has to soften in some cases and this compromises the discipline of the kids.

What hit me in the article is the dad's fear that she will want a husband who is like her father. that points to Electra Complex and risk of unhappy relationships because she will never find her father out there
"Money never sleeps"
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