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Age difference
Kaka M
#31 Posted : Wednesday, July 18, 2012 12:57:16 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 4/18/2011
Posts: 459
Advantages:U should be wise thru experience and r therefore able to
settle down and focus on what you want in life.
U have been preparing financially and therefore
relatively stable for the life ahead.

Possible challenges: You may have rather diverse interests and you will need to adjust yourselves accordingly. (If you can handle this well it will work to your advantage. i.e She will want top listen to akina Nonini etc and you will want twisty as it were. If both of you can manage to be there when the other does what they have to do it can be very enriching. (This takes alot of patience and understanding)
U may have challenges with what is proper to dress in eat etc.
Be ready to deal with peer pressure,
N soon u will be going thru Midlife pray it doesn't come with crisis attached.
There may be issues btwn your wife and your child demanding attention from you. I hope his/her mother(Your Ex) doesn't jump in to complicate it any further.
If you are prepared to deal with some if this then at least you will find fulfillment.
My 2 cents.


AlphDoti
#32 Posted : Wednesday, July 18, 2012 12:57:18 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,275
Location: Kenya
Now this is what you need to bear in mind:
- she's still young
- She's not yet wise and mature woman like women of your age
- she's spirited young girl who still had a great deal to learn, from you and others
- she's still very quick to learn, with a clear heart, a quick mind and memory.
- Girls her age are not afraid to talk back in order to find out the truth or make it known,
- She need alot of praises whenever she wins something e.g. argument. You should smile & say, "This is my wife, Mrs. @bellshade original, one and only one!"
- she's still intelligent

- THE BEST OF ALL: SHE'S STILL PLAYFUL. YOU MUST MATCH THIS ONE, EVEN WHEN YOUR BODY SAYS NO.

- You must allow her to continue her playful ways and chat once in a while with her young friends. I mean responsible friends.
- Allow them to visit her regularly in her house.
- buy her dolls to play with
- Finally, it is important that you handle the matter of sex relations with skill, care and understanding. Remember she's not experienced much yet so please at first focus in her satisfaction!

I want you to read about the wife of Muhammad (pbuh) called Aisha. In the meantime, let me give you a few playful acts about her:

1). Her marriage to the Prophet (pbuh) did not change 'A'isha's playful ways.
Her young friends continued to regularly come to visit her in her own room.
"I would be playing with my dolls," she once said, "with the girls who were my friends"
"and the Prophet (pbuh) would come in and they would slip out of the house"
"and he would go out after them and bring them back, for he was pleased for my sake to have them there."

3). Prophet (pbuh) would relax with his wife, and cheer her up with his humor or by making agreeable jokes.
The Prophet(pbuh), in spite of his lofty status, used to play with his wife.
He ran in competition with Aisha.
Sometimes she won, and other times he won.
And once, hearing an Abyssinian entertainment team playing outside the home, the Prophet(pbuh) said to Aisha,
"Would you like to see them?"
When she agreed, he sent for them and they came and performed in front of his door. The Prophet(pbuh) stretched his hand, putting his palm on the open door and letting Aisha's chin rest on his arm so that she could see comfortably.
A while later the Prophet(pbuh) asked Aisha,
"Enough?"
She said, "Silence!"
Another while later he asked, "Enough?"
and the answer was again, "Silence!"
But when he asked her for the third time, "Enough?"
she agreed, "Yes,"
and the team went away on a gesture from the Prophet(pbuh).

He then said,
"The most perfect belief is that of those who are best-mannered and most tender with their wives."

The Prophet(saw) also used to say,
"Surely God does not love a rough person who is boastful, and rude to his wife."

The husband's duties, the wife's duties
McReggae
#33 Posted : Wednesday, July 18, 2012 1:01:32 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/17/2008
Posts: 23,365
Location: Nairobi
Magigi wrote:
Guest (16) ...you shall not walk alone


Leterally!!!!
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
bellshade
#34 Posted : Wednesday, July 18, 2012 1:29:10 PM
Rank: Hello

Joined: 7/18/2012
Posts: 7
@alphdoti your advise is fulfiling thanx a milion
King G
#35 Posted : Wednesday, July 18, 2012 2:04:41 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/20/2012
Posts: 3,855
Location: Othumo
Will she agree to move in with you in Rongai ama ni masaa ya kuhama?
Thieves
AlphDoti
#36 Posted : Wednesday, July 18, 2012 2:18:31 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,275
Location: Kenya
bellshade wrote:
@alphdoti your advise is fulfiling thanx a milion

Do not expose her to activities and areas that can spoil her like bars and discos. Instead provide her with alternative entertainment:
- go to the theater to watch a play with her
- go to the movies (good movies)
- go for leisure drives together (e.g. visit the farm)
- go to Mosque/Church/Temple with her
hoodrat
#37 Posted : Wednesday, July 18, 2012 2:22:51 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 4/27/2010
Posts: 262
AlphDoti wrote:


-

- buy her dolls to play with

Really? Is she that young?Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today!
Elder
#38 Posted : Wednesday, July 18, 2012 2:25:19 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 9/7/2010
Posts: 2,148
Location: elderville
McReggae wrote:
Magigi wrote:
Guest (16) ...you shall not walk alone


Leterally!!!!

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
He who can express in words the ardour of his love, has but little love to express. - Petrach, Son. (That men by various ways arrive at the same end. - Montaigne, The Essays of.)
Magigi
#39 Posted : Wednesday, July 18, 2012 2:26:41 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/31/2008
Posts: 7,081
Location: Kenya
AlphDoti wrote:
bellshade wrote:
@alphdoti your advise is fulfiling thanx a milion

Do not expose her to activities and areas that can spoil her like bars and discos. Instead provide her with alternative entertainment:
- go to the theater to watch a play with her
- Take her back to her mother once a week to breastfeed

Laughing out loudly
Elder
#40 Posted : Wednesday, July 18, 2012 2:30:42 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 9/7/2010
Posts: 2,148
Location: elderville
bellshade wrote:
Hi all Wazuas,

Need some through advise.My galfriend is 17yrs younger than me and marriage is in the pipelin,am getting to 40s very soon and I have a child born form my previous affair. Now i need to get advise,Can this relationship have problems later on in our lifes considering the age diff,priorities and the lifestlyes of both of us.Anxious Think Anxious


Positive - When you are 90 she shall be 73. Both of you would be pretty old and 17 years won't be that much.

Negative - You would probably throttle each other to death before your 40th birthday.

Recommendation - Do it and remember to share so that others like you may avoid the pitfalls.
He who can express in words the ardour of his love, has but little love to express. - Petrach, Son. (That men by various ways arrive at the same end. - Montaigne, The Essays of.)
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