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Loneliness.....
Ms Mkenya
#41 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 3:05:30 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 5/13/2010
Posts: 869
Location: Nairobi
Wendz wrote:

A man will only walk away if the only thing between the man and the woman is sex. However, in my many years of living, i have come to believe that you can have a male friends who is not necessarily after goods ONLY..... (granted, every man who thinks highly of some woman will want to cross over). But, with such friends, even if there is no intimacy between the two, the friendship is not ruined and can end up sharing much more and doing alot of stuff together that can grow both of them. You realise that, much as sex is an important part of a companionship, it alone can not sustain a relationship. Let your friend start with building meaningful friendships with her male friends. Usually, someone who they have common ideologies, common goals and who look into life in the same direction. She'll be surprised at how fulfilling spending an evening with a genuine friend would be. She'll be better off with a good friend than a lousy lover -

That's my thinking because i am not a guru in these matters....


I totally agree, we are on the same wavelength.
....above all, to stand.
bkismat
#42 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 3:10:38 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/23/2009
Posts: 2,375
lurker wrote:
karqui wrote:
Ms Mkenya wrote:
My 2 cents.

And being boys the bond with mama is good smile


lets understand that being a good mama is one thing, and having personal relaxation to give the kids the best, the self needs a break, is another.



we can give this a shot, im easy...gimme ur email addy and i will get in touch

Shame on you Shame on you
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt...
-Mark Twain
Impunity
#43 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 3:10:49 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,330
Location: Masada
lurker wrote:
karqui wrote:
Ms Mkenya wrote:
My 2 cents.

And being boys the bond with mama is good smile


lets understand that being a good mama is one thing, and having personal relaxation to give the kids the best, the self needs a break, is another.



we can give this a shot, im easy...gimme ur email addy and i will get in touch


@lurker, must you create a new account for you to win this "a friend"?
Wacha kuwa desperate
Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you

lurker
Rank: Hello
Joined: 7/5/2012
Posts: 2
Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

essyk
#44 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 3:22:42 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/15/2011
Posts: 4,518
Quote:
There seems to many jokers and she is getting disappointed, she says all they want is goodies then they MIA.
Hii maisha ningumu to make a balance. she is getting worried by the day as kids will soon be grown and leave the hub making it more lonelier.


Some ladies are quite funny.
How many men are thinking the same way,
Their cry however is about golddigging women who go mia after they are done digging.

There is an equal no of single men with kids who need comfort and company as well
I doubt they spend all their time in clubs cz just like her, their routine is strict and tiring and they are more likely to be found working from home.And yes they do domestic work cz they love their kids.

Let her cast her net further and stop zero grazing.She will be shocked by the demand.

And karqui you took a wrong approach,you cant force things on people if it goes against their nature.
There is a time for everything and I think she is doing a nice thing looking after those kids.I am sure those boys appreciate that because she s playing both roles.That is no joke.
Many kids hardly see their mothers.

Encourage her by telling her that she needs to be grateful for the time spent on her kids.Its is not 'wasted time'.I guess those are the sacrifices that come about with raising up kids.

I wouldn't cry if I knew I was doing a good job as a mother.I can sacrifice my entire life for my kids till they are mature to look after themselves.

"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
alma
#45 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 3:35:48 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/20/2007
Posts: 4,432
Kweli this has become lonely hearts corner?

In my many years of dealing with women, there is one thing I know. Not everything is as it seems.

Has anyone asked why she's lonely?

Labda ni kashetani kadogo.

Tell her she laid the bed she's going to be sleeping in. She's too old for the altar and even Njunge has options with t-shirt wearing 19yr olds.

So tell her to accept it and next time, use condoms. 2 kids out of wedlock with guys who don't stay around is a bad sign from where I come from.
Jose: If I make it through this thug life, I'll see you one day. The Lord is the only way to stop the hurt.
Impunity
#46 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 3:39:53 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,330
Location: Masada
essyk wrote:
I can sacrifice my entire life for my kids till they are mature to look after themselves.




The epitome of deceit!


I would never live my life for the sake of my kids (and I would never wish my kids to live a life I wasn't able to live)

We live once and so once the kids have known what to place in their mouths to be alive then they are good to go!

You sacrifice a huge portion of your life (even its entirety) for your kids only for them to live the life the way they want it and disappoint you!
My kids are human beings who can should live their God given life, just like eaglets.

NEVER EVER!
Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you
Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

mkeiyd
#47 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 3:47:25 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 3/26/2012
Posts: 1,182
alma wrote:
Kweli this has become lonely hearts corner?

In my many years of dealing with women, there is one thing I know. Not everything is as it seems.

Has anyone asked why she's lonely?

Labda ni kashetani kadogo.

Tell her she laid the bed she's going to be sleeping in. She's too old for the altar and even Njunge has options with t-shirt wearing 19yr olds.

So tell her to accept it and next time, use condoms. 2 kids out of wedlock with guys who don't stay around is a bad sign from where I come from.


I think i kinda did,@karqui is yet to say how/why her friend is lonely.
Maybe she was the kind of "i don't need a man" back in the days. Maybe she wasn't. What do i know?
essyk
#48 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 3:50:02 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/15/2011
Posts: 4,518
Impunity wrote:
essyk wrote:
I can sacrifice my entire life for my kids till they are mature to look after themselves.




The epitome of deceit!


I would never live my life for the sake of my kids (and I would never wish my kids to live a life I wasn't able to live)

We live once and so once the kids have known what to place in their mouths to be alive then they are good to go!

You sacrifice a huge portion of your life (even its entirety) for your kids only for them to live the life the way they want it and disappoint you!
My kids are human beings who can should live their God given life, just like eaglets.

NEVER EVER!
Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you


Wee wachana!

Fact is when you decide to have kids there are sacrifices to be made.Esp if u had them out of wedlock.
You cant have ur cake and eat it!
9 and 14 yrs mehn! that is when the clay needs moulding.
And yes,they will soon walk out and blame you for not having been a good parent after all u sacrificed Laughing out loudly
But their time will come to be parents.
It's just a cycle of life.

By the way si awapeleke boarding??? if she needs time for herself?
At times you just have to do things by force.
14 is big and so is 9.
At 8 years I could cook for a village and till a 5 acre farm alone.
Thanks God for boarding.

"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
mkeiyd
#49 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 4:05:06 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 3/26/2012
Posts: 1,182
@essyk, Do you sacrifice for your parents sake? Is everything that you do,ONLY about your parents?
Why do you think your kids will sacrifice their lives for you? Why would they be different from the you of today?

There is a place where parents sacrifice their lives for their kids, but the suicide rates are also high,very high.

Being a parent doesn't mean abandoning one's life for kids,its providing for them with love and affection in a give-and-take relationship.
It is this fallacy of living for kids' sake that is bringing a breed of spoiled bruts,full of entitlement and a sense of irresponsibility that stinks all the way to hell and back.
Mommy this, mommy that, mommy! mommy! mommy!
In the spirit of gender equality, sub the mommy with daddy.
NKTESTEST!
lurker
#50 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 4:07:25 PM
Rank: Hello


Joined: 7/5/2012
Posts: 3
Impunity wrote:
lurker wrote:
karqui wrote:
Ms Mkenya wrote:
My 2 cents.

And being boys the bond with mama is good smile


lets understand that being a good mama is one thing, and having personal relaxation to give the kids the best, the self needs a break, is another.



we can give this a shot, im easy...gimme ur email addy and i will get in touch


@lurker, must you create a new account for you to win this "a friend"?
Wacha kuwa desperate
Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you

lurker
Rank: Hello
Joined: 7/5/2012
Posts: 2



i suppose the decision to take up my offer rest with the OP(original poster) and not you
Mtublack
#51 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 4:12:57 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 11/18/2009
Posts: 175
fine we know what she needs the question is what is the man getting out of this deal in comparison with a younger woman with no kids,

Its cost benefit analysis that should enable us to determine what type of men she will attract, its good to know what is your options and make the best out of it
Some you win some you lose
quicksand
#52 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 4:20:51 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 7/5/2010
Posts: 2,061
Location: Nairobi
Perhaps it is the wrong timing for her. Any man who will check in will look at those kids and think 'Hmmmm,...so this one wants me to chip in with their upbringing, kulipa fees, food etc ..why should I raise another man's kids?', he will play nice till he gets laid and then bail out.
On the other hand, when the children have finished college, and its just the woman, potential nice dudes will let their guard down ...

She also needs to adjust her thinking a bit (in other words really lower the bar), attitudes she had when single and unencumbered will not help much.
Impunity
#53 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 4:22:34 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,330
Location: Masada
mkeiyd wrote:
@essyk, Do you sacrifice for your parents sake? Is everything that you do,ONLY about your parents?
Why do you think your kids will sacrifice their lives for you? Why would they be different from the you of today?

There is a place where parents sacrifice their lives for their kids, but the suicide rates are also high,very high.

Being a parent doesn't mean abandoning one's life for kids,its providing for them with love and affection in a give-and-take relationship.
It is this fallacy of living for kids' sake that is bringing a breed of spoiled bruts,full of entitlement and a sense of irresponsibility that stinks all the way to hell and back.
Mommy this, mommy that, mommy! mommy! mommy!
In the spirit of gender equality, sub the mommy with daddy.
NKTESTEST!


My sentiments exactly.

Nditto!
Applause
Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

chemos
#54 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 4:52:12 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/28/2006
Posts: 1,799
lurker wrote:
Impunity wrote:
lurker wrote:
karqui wrote:
Ms Mkenya wrote:
My 2 cents.

And being boys the bond with mama is good smile


lets understand that being a good mama is one thing, and having personal relaxation to give the kids the best, the self needs a break, is another.



we can give this a shot, im easy...gimme ur email addy and i will get in touch


@lurker, must you create a new account for you to win this "a friend"?
Wacha kuwa desperate
Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you

lurker
Rank: Hello
Joined: 7/5/2012
Posts: 2



i suppose the decision to take up my offer rest with the OP(original poster) and not you



AIRPORT DIGGER....Shame on you Shame on you umekuwa guest all this long halafu ukiona an aiport in distress u quickly register and try to hit the cookie jar...

Haupati NG'OOOO
Impunity
#55 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 5:05:45 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,330
Location: Masada
chemos wrote:
lurker wrote:
Impunity wrote:
lurker wrote:
karqui wrote:
Ms Mkenya wrote:
My 2 cents.

And being boys the bond with mama is good smile


lets understand that being a good mama is one thing, and having personal relaxation to give the kids the best, the self needs a break, is another.



we can give this a shot, im easy...gimme ur email addy and i will get in touch


@lurker, must you create a new account for you to win this "a friend"?
Wacha kuwa desperate
Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you

lurker
Rank: Hello
Joined: 7/5/2012
Posts: 2



i suppose the decision to take up my offer rest with the OP(original poster) and not you



AIRPORT DIGGER....Shame on you Shame on you umekuwa guest all this long halafu ukiona an aiport in distress u quickly register and try to hit the cookie jar...

Haupati NG'OOOO


Ati airport digger.
Laughing out loudly
This guy is not a guest, he is a regular and registered wazuan, this we can take to the bank!
Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

rock
#56 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 5:18:56 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 2/25/2009
Posts: 973
mkeiyd wrote:
alma wrote:
Kweli this has become lonely hearts corner?

In my many years of dealing with women, there is one thing I know. Not everything is as it seems.

Has anyone asked why she's lonely?

Labda ni kashetani kadogo.

Tell her she laid the bed she's going to be sleeping in. She's too old for the altar and even Njunge has options with t-shirt wearing 19yr olds.

So tell her to accept it and next time, use condoms. 2 kids out of wedlock with guys who don't stay around is a bad sign from where I come from.


I think i kinda did,@karqui is yet to say how/why her friend is lonely.
Maybe she was the kind of "i don't need a man" back in the days. Maybe she wasn't. What do i know?

Many questions unanswered..if she was peeping earlier why didnt she come out to 'defend' herself and tell us her qualities. A picture is worth a thao words,how does she look like-plain,average,smoking hot? There are some late 30's,early 40's ladies with or without kids who give our 20 & 30 something yrs ladies serious compe.
McReggae
#57 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 5:26:31 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/17/2008
Posts: 23,365
Location: Nairobi
Certain topics really ellicit reactions from wazuans.....i'm working out the reason why!!!
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
essyk
#58 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 5:28:23 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/15/2011
Posts: 4,518
^^ true.They touch on emotions and trust people to react to such.Laughing out loudly
Thread inakuwa na so many pages. smh.

Mtublack wrote:
fine we know what she needs the question is what is the man getting out of this deal in comparison with a younger woman with no kids,

Its cost benefit analysis that should enable us to determine what type of men she will attract, its good to know what is your options and make the best out of it


You see?? this is what gives rise to wamboi mbugua kind of scenarios.
I thought the post clearly said she is financially stable?
Shes got everything going on for her kids and she only needs a good time?
Take them to boarding.They aren't kids anywmore.
But no,I guess her problem isn't time so no need to.

Me thinks she holds the key to unlocking her misery.
Many women set very high standards for themselves because they have achieved and sacrificed too much.
I don't know if it's justifiable or not because again I wouldn't encourage one to go search for a loser.
She just needs to be more accomodating and seek in the right places.Broaden her search even beyond borders.
EAC is big.

Searching in clubs to me is a NO NO.

Wapi serikali isaidie?




"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
AlphDoti
#59 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 6:15:05 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,275
Location: Kenya
Now guys are talking. This is reality talk now.

Quote:
Labda ni kashetani kadogo. ...she laid the bed she's going to sleep in..
True there's consequences.

Quote:
...2 kids out of wedlock with guys who don't stay around...
Could there be a problem somewhere?Think

Quote:
Maybe she was the kind of "i don't need a man" back in the days.
True, there must be a reason why God put compassion in our hearts, to share our lives with someone special. She needs to lower standards.

Quote:
By the way si awapeleke boarding??? if she needs time for herself?
This is a good suggestion. You'll miss the boys but again you'll have time to spend with potential partner. Hey, don't forget: I don't mean dish out the goodies yet Shame on you.

Quote:
Perhaps it is the wrong timing for her. ...those kids...
A lady can find someone who loves her with whole baggage. I believe she's financially stable and can support the kids. All she wants is companionship.

Quote:
...in comparison with a younger woman with no kids.
I want to believe the man will be rewarded with experience and maturity.

Quote:
You sacrifice ... your life for your kids only for them to live the life the way they want it and disappoint you!

It can happen!

Closing remark: Opinion polls shows Kenyan men hate mini-skirts and tight shirts (from 411)
Rollout
#60 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 8:49:36 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 4/26/2011
Posts: 759
I think nobody is honest with this lady and I am going to be very honest the best she can find at the moment is a man over 35yrs old who is either broke broke or with a bunch of kids and fairly broke so make peace with that first.

Secondly and here is how I drew my conclusions, take me for example, I am a single(not married) guy, I have a 6 yr old kid, I am fairly paid and will be 30yrs old by the end of the year why in the world would I date a 36 yrs old woman with kids when I can find a 22 yrs old? Ever seen a woman flash a 35 yrs old tit? it is old and ugly sorry to say but, I will advise you to find a broke man who want part of you money, atleast you'll get regular sex and someone you can push around because to be honest every single woman in their mid 30s have problems no man can deal with.

For all you women in your mid 20s and no boyfriend you should start worrying right now because by 27yrs few men will be knocking!

Lastly... can I get your friends email or phone?
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