@ quicksand, so well said. i have been telling her to maximise on her self and create lots of interesting activities that make her happy. Relying on the riff-raffs as you call them will only complicate matters.
@ all, thanks for the advises given,just keep them coming as we assist each other.
She has even logged on to wazua and finds the remarks quite interesting, she may join ,

@Rahatupu What is this about mpango was kando!

@Ms Mkenya ati a man does not complete a woman! Are you saying she should engage in fornication or illicit relationships! Be careful .
Most of us have healthy bodies with various needs: food-stomach, spiritual-Creator, social-friendship, love-family/friends, intellectual, physical-sexual etc

There is a solution
She can be married by someone who has a wife or wives if he can afford.

And this is the solution to the problem of humanity - excess women. Remember what I said in this forum once. The American statistic tells us that there are 7.8million more women than men in America, who can't get husbands.
If every man in America got married, there is still about 8 million women who can't get husbands.
I'm asking all those who are boasting, what is the solution to this problem?

And Kenya suffers from the same problem.

Do not fall into these evangelists and the Western thinking who fool you around and they do not have a solution.

I can give you a few points worth of consideration in an effort to clarify the wisdom of polygamy and when it can be used:

Let's talk about logic
Do you know by nature male and female are born in equal proportion.
But if you ask any paedritician, a doctor of the children, he will tell you that the female child can fight the germ and diceasees better than the male child.
So at paedritic stage alone, there are more female than male.

As life goes on, due to smoking, due to alcohol, due to accident, due to war, more male are dying as compared to female.

Today in the world, there are million more women than the male.
Only in some countries like India, the female population is less than the male population.
Do you know why? Because female foetuses aborted after sex determination tests but also through murder of newborns.

@karqui, your level of activism in this post leaves very little in doubt, I wish you all the best.

Nice one. Many self-declared loneliness doctors are as fake as waganga kutoka pwani. They will come promising strong shoulder to lean on but vamoose after 'Shock and Aweing'. Let her focus on guiding her teenage kids at this phase. I would also advise her to play an active role in church. She will never be lacking in an activity to do.

ok so what is she after, does she want a dude or companionship?

I guess in theory that is true. However, as a mother, you can never relax properly not knowing the children are okay. So she needs to be there for them FIRST, then she will relax. At least that works for me.

This is subjective and depends on the person. Why do ladies like to pretend that they don't like sex and hence are doing men a huge favour by giving them some? Do what your libido tells you I say ...
Anyhow, even the best of men is not going to wait around kama amekaushiwa, ..he will think you are playing games and vanish like the wind. Its a delicate balancing act, but good-old character judgement skills are way better than locking up the goods from the potential mate for months on end. In any case, is she not a seasoned adult? She should be able to tell who is there for play and who is serious by now.

Possible avenues to look for a solution:

Join the choir in church or a church group especially that has people full of life and many ideas of having fun and those that r about same age.
Start attending Gym or other such exciting activity.
Look for a charity that she could be useful to and be attending from time to spend time there. e.g if it's a childrens home and she can assist with tuition or other such activity if she is able to do the same.
Hit the net and look for friends, where some can be online friends and those that she can meet in person etc.( For this she needs to be willing to sieve the serious pple from Jokers and conmen etc)
Nations Saturday Magazine has a column for lonely hearts she could put a profile there.
Also in this age of hard economic times she could engage in income generating activities which will definately keep her very busy and will be very handy. Eg if she able to acquire a plot/plots and keep herself busy with supervising construction.

Some people say we find love by giving love and by going out of our way to engage in activities we get noticed and are able to solve several problems.

@Quicksand, if we were to follow our libidos we would be no different from animals. There is a reason God gave us self control. And yes, some men wait.
Once you both then are committed, unleash all the goods! But you cannot unleash to Tom, Dick & Harry and expect them to change miraculously to be the man you are looking for! That is poor judgement.
I have no regrets about withholding the goods initially, it worked for me.
He needs to be in it for more than just sex. Sex i agree is a part of it, but only a part.