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Loneliness.....
Impunity
#21 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 8:56:40 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,331
Location: Masada
newfarer wrote:
karqui wrote:
A few answers from questions asked.
An introvert may be coz she just doesn't open easily but once she opens she is great to sit with even all night long.
Kids are boys 14 and 9 years in a private school.
The over chosy of a guy not really selecrive but casual.
She has just finished a degree and languages.
@chemos, humans are social beings so must interact.


she must be around 38yrs old.I love older women.they don't stress alot.but unfortunately I'm happily owned (by Shosho) so can't consider.
all the best though.


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

quicksand
#22 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 11:02:16 AM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 7/5/2010
Posts: 2,061
Location: Nairobi
@karqui ...sadly, this is how maisha is these days. She should learn to cope with that loneliness and not get depressed by it, maybe find fulfilling activities to do as opposed to explicitly searching for a partner. She needs to let the guy come to her, this way, a quality jamaa will show up, if he ever does; otherwise, she will just be dealing with riff-raff who are out for a good time.
A string of heartbreaks will just compound the problem.

To be off on a tangent but on a related issue, it is important to settle down with a reasonable person who can at least be your friend. Hii mambo of expecting rainbows and fireworks romance is misleading. So is going off on your own and being a single mum just for the heck of it; Utazeeka siku moja, without looks and youth in your favor, to whom do you turn for companionship?
karqui
#23 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 11:10:52 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 8/2/2010
Posts: 480
Location: chokoo
@ quicksand, so well said. i have been telling her to maximise on her self and create lots of interesting activities that make her happy. Relying on the riff-raffs as you call them will only complicate matters.
@ all, thanks for the advises given,just keep them coming as we assist each other.
She has even logged on to wazua and finds the remarks quite interesting, she may join smile ,
Ms Mkenya
#24 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 11:55:02 AM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 5/13/2010
Posts: 869
Location: Nairobi
My 2 cents.

First she needs to make a decision to stop dishing goodies. Anyone who sticks around after denial MAY just be worth her time.

Secondly (maybe first) she needs to be comfortable in her skin & single hood. A man won't complete her. She has to be happy & whole to have a meaningful r/ship with a man. Granted a man may make her happier but she has to be at peace with herself first.

Then, her kids are 9 & 14. In my view, this really is time to be there for them. Teen & pre-teen. Maybe if she ocncentrated her energies there the loneliness may not be so big. And being boys the bond with mama is good smile
....above all, to stand.
AlphDoti
#25 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 12:02:05 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,275
Location: Kenya
Rahatupu wrote:
rock wrote:
karqui wrote:
A few answers from questions asked.
An introvert may be coz she just doesn't open easily but once she opens she is great to sit with even all night long.
Kids are boys 14 and 9 years in a private school.
The over chosy of a guy not really selecrive but casual.
She has just finished a degree and languages.
@chemos, humans are social beings so must interact.

Are the kids from the same dad?and what is the definition of a 'casual' guy? IMO: Admin should also consider adding a lonely hearts section-there are many financially stable,social retards who would find it useful.
.

@Karqui, Mwambie atafute mtu amfanye mpango wa side. It will be much easier for her, let her lower her expectations as well, to the level ya steady go steady mosmos.

@Rahatupu What is this about mpango was kando!

@Ms Mkenya ati a man does not complete a woman! Are you saying she should engage in fornication or illicit relationships! Be careful Shame on you.
Most of us have healthy bodies with various needs: food-stomach, spiritual-Creator, social-friendship, love-family/friends, intellectual, physical-sexual etc

There is a solution
She can be married by someone who has a wife or wives if he can afford.

And this is the solution to the problem of humanity - excess women. Remember what I said in this forum once. The American statistic tells us that there are 7.8million more women than men in America, who can't get husbands.
If every man in America got married, there is still about 8 million women who can't get husbands.
I'm asking all those who are boasting, what is the solution to this problem?

And Kenya suffers from the same problem.

Do not fall into these evangelists and the Western thinking who fool you around and they do not have a solution.

I can give you a few points worth of consideration in an effort to clarify the wisdom of polygamy and when it can be used:

Let's talk about logic
Do you know by nature male and female are born in equal proportion.
But if you ask any paedritician, a doctor of the children, he will tell you that the female child can fight the germ and diceasees better than the male child.
So at paedritic stage alone, there are more female than male.

As life goes on, due to smoking, due to alcohol, due to accident, due to war, more male are dying as compared to female.

Today in the world, there are million more women than the male.
Only in some countries like India, the female population is less than the male population.
Do you know why? Because female foetuses aborted after sex determination tests but also through murder of newborns.
karqui
#26 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 12:18:12 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 8/2/2010
Posts: 480
Location: chokoo
Ms Mkenya wrote:
My 2 cents.

And being boys the bond with mama is good smile


lets understand that being a good mama is one thing, and having personal relaxation to give the kids the best, the self needs a break, is another.
Impunity
#27 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 12:22:01 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,331
Location: Masada
karqui wrote:
Ms Mkenya wrote:
My 2 cents.

And being boys the bond with mama is good smile


lets understand that being a good mama is one thing, and having personal relaxation to give the kids the best, the self needs a break, is another.


@karqui, your level of activism in this post leaves very little in doubt, I wish you all the best.
smile
Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

chemos
#28 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 12:29:48 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 11/28/2006
Posts: 1,799
Impunity wrote:
karqui wrote:
Ms Mkenya wrote:
My 2 cents.

And being boys the bond with mama is good smile


lets understand that being a good mama is one thing, and having personal relaxation to give the kids the best, the self needs a break, is another.


@karqui, your level of activism in this post leaves very little in doubt, I wish you all the best.
smile

IPO PAP!!!!Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
willin2learn
#29 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 12:39:22 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 2/12/2008
Posts: 1,178
Ms Mkenya wrote:
My 2 cents.

First she needs to make a decision to stop dishing goodies. Anyone who sticks around after denial MAY just be worth her time.

Secondly (maybe first) she needs to be comfortable in her skin & single hood. A man won't complete her. She has to be happy & whole to have a meaningful r/ship with a man. Granted a man may make her happier but she has to be at peace with herself first.

Then, her kids are 9 & 14. In my view, this really is time to be there for them. Teen & pre-teen. Maybe if she ocncentrated her energies there the loneliness may not be so big. And being boys the bond with mama is good smile


Nice one. Many self-declared loneliness doctors are as fake as waganga kutoka pwani. They will come promising strong shoulder to lean on but vamoose after 'Shock and Aweing'. Let her focus on guiding her teenage kids at this phase. I would also advise her to play an active role in church. She will never be lacking in an activity to do.
Impunity
#30 Posted : Thursday, July 05, 2012 12:39:35 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,331
Location: Masada
chemos wrote:
Impunity wrote:
karqui wrote:
Ms Mkenya wrote:
My 2 cents.

And being boys the bond with mama is good smile


lets understand that being a good mama is one thing, and having personal relaxation to give the kids the best, the self needs a break, is another.


@karqui, your level of activism in this post leaves very little in doubt, I wish you all the best.
smile

IPO PAP!!!!Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly


This is clearly a case of "LISTING BY WAY-OF-INTRODUCTION"

Applause Applause Applause Applause


Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

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