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Loneliness.....
Rank: Member Joined: 8/2/2010 Posts: 480 Location: chokoo
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,330 Location: Masada
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karqui wrote: Need to help a colleague/friend out of loneliness. I have offered the advice I know in the book but nothing seems to work, ie steady male friend, clubbing, touring, etc. She is nice looking and can keep good company but withdrawn and no ’steady’ male. she is not married but has a family, financially stable. Currently unattached, just shuffles between job, kids and home. She hates the flow and is seeking a better more enjoyable life. Ngapi na how old? Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/15/2011 Posts: 4,518
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In short u are a broker.  Quote:ie steady male friend, clubbing, touring, etc. ?? If that is what you offered you missed the point. Deal with the cause of her withdrawal not the symptoms cz wht u did was just bandage a cancerous wound. After that is done,kuna some two mad fellows stressing. I can refer. "The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/26/2008 Posts: 2,097
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"A friend" again? Bring her to register at Wazua. Alete shida mwenyewe and then pap! 90 responses in one day. "Never regret, if its good, its wonderful. If its bad, its experience."
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 1/25/2012 Posts: 1,624 Location: Langley
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Nothing but prayer. If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/28/2006 Posts: 1,799
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Tembea na Yesu.. wachana na wanaume wa hi dunia.. Na hiyo Steady male ni mgani? yule amesteady???? 
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 2/3/2010 Posts: 1,797 Location: Kenya
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chemos wrote:Tembea na Yesu.. wachana na wanaume wa hi dunia.. Na hiyo Steady male ni mgani? yule amesteady???? ama ni @jump-steady I may be wrong..but then I could be right
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 3/26/2012 Posts: 1,182
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@karqui, seek to know how she became lonely. There has to be a series of events/happenings that has led your friend to the current state of affairs.
Suggesting she goes clubbing/touring,is just addressing the symptoms.
In what you have suggested, she might get pleasure, but NOT happiness.
She needs to deal with herself before engaging anyone else.
The way to do it? Going back to where/how it all started.
The loneliness lies within.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,330 Location: Masada
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digitek1 wrote:chemos wrote:Tembea na Yesu.. wachana na wanaume wa hi dunia.. Na hiyo Steady male ni mgani? yule amesteady???? ama ni @jump-steady Yule husimama wima...!!! Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/26/2008 Posts: 2,097
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chemos wrote:.. wachana na wanaume wa hi dunia.. Na hiyo Steady male ni mgani? yule amesteady???? Aende dunia gani??? Wonder why people take advantage of women who are single parents! They are being dated left right and once men get what they want they go mia. @Karqui.... Tell her to cross her leggs for the time being till she finds the real purpose of life, and meanwhile take a keener interest in her other hobbies, even may join is it YWCA or take up a part time study in a field. "Never regret, if its good, its wonderful. If its bad, its experience."
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 10/25/2007 Posts: 1,574
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Your friend might be an introvert. That's her personality and personalities do not often change. She is like Anne below:  "An introvert is likely to enjoy time spent alone and find less reward in time spent with large groups of people, though he or she may enjoy interactions with close friends. Trust is usually an issue of significance: a virtue of utmost importance to an introvert choosing a worthy companion. They prefer to concentrate on a single activity at a time and like to observe situations before they participate. They are more analytical before speaking. Introverts are easily overwhelmed by too much stimulation from social gatherings and engagement." -Wikipedia Set out to correct the world's wrongs and you will most certainly wind up adding to them.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 10/13/2011 Posts: 660
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i bet her expectations are insane. tall, money, handsome, funny, single, doesnt over drink, not a psycho etc. if only she overlooked ALL the above mentioned attributes
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/20/2012 Posts: 3,855 Location: Othumo
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Impunity wrote:digitek1 wrote:chemos wrote:Tembea na Yesu.. wachana na wanaume wa hi dunia.. Na hiyo Steady male ni mgani? yule amesteady???? ama ni @jump-steady Yule husimama wima...!!! Steady - no hit and run, yule anakula leo, kesho na kesho kutwa alafu anarudia mara hiyo hiyo. kids; how many, how old and sexology yao? Thieves
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,330 Location: Masada
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King G wrote:Impunity wrote:digitek1 wrote:chemos wrote:Tembea na Yesu.. wachana na wanaume wa hi dunia.. Na hiyo Steady male ni mgani? yule amesteady???? ama ni @jump-steady Yule husimama wima...!!! Steady - no hit and run, yule anakula leo, kesho na kesho kutwa alafu anarudia mara hiyo hiyo. kids; how many, how old and sexology yao? Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/18/2008 Posts: 3,434 Location: Kerugoya
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@jguru, brilliant. Just like that I know I am an Introvert.
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Rank: Member Joined: 8/2/2010 Posts: 480 Location: chokoo
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A few answers from questions asked.
An introvert may be coz she just doesn't open easily but once she opens she is great to sit with even all night long.
Kids are boys 14 and 9 years in a private school.
The over chosy of a guy not really selecrive but casual.
She has just finished a degree and languages.
@chemos, humans are social beings so must interact.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/19/2010 Posts: 3,504 Location: Uganda
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karqui wrote:A few answers from questions asked.
An introvert may be coz she just doesn't open easily but once she opens she is great to sit with even all night long.
Kids are boys 14 and 9 years in a private school.
The over chosy of a guy not really selecrive but casual.
She has just finished a degree and languages.
@chemos, humans are social beings so must interact. she must be around 38yrs old.I love older women.they don't stress alot.but unfortunately I'm happily owned so can't consider. all the best though. punda amecheka
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 2/25/2009 Posts: 973
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karqui wrote:A few answers from questions asked.
An introvert may be coz she just doesn't open easily but once she opens she is great to sit with even all night long.
Kids are boys 14 and 9 years in a private school.
The over chosy of a guy not really selecrive but casual.
She has just finished a degree and languages.
@chemos, humans are social beings so must interact. Are the kids from the same dad?and what is the definition of a 'casual' guy? IMO: Admin should also consider adding a lonely hearts section-there are many financially stable,introverts who would find it useful.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 12/4/2009 Posts: 1,982 Location: matano manne
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rock wrote:karqui wrote:A few answers from questions asked.
An introvert may be coz she just doesn't open easily but once she opens she is great to sit with even all night long.
Kids are boys 14 and 9 years in a private school.
The over chosy of a guy not really selecrive but casual.
She has just finished a degree and languages.
@chemos, humans are social beings so must interact. Are the kids from the same dad?and what is the definition of a 'casual' guy? IMO: Admin should also consider adding a lonely hearts section-there are many financially stable,social retards who would find it useful. . @Karqui, Mwambie atafute mtu amfanye mpango wa side. It will be much easier for her, let her lower her expectations as well, to the level ya steady go steady mosmos.
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Rank: Member Joined: 8/2/2010 Posts: 480 Location: chokoo
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Rahatupu wrote:rock wrote:karqui wrote:A few answers from questions asked.
An introvert may be coz she just doesn't open easily but once she opens she is great to sit with even all night long.
Kids are boys 14 and 9 years in a private school.
The over chosy of a guy not really selecrive but casual.
She has just finished a degree and languages.
@chemos, humans are social beings so must interact. Are the kids from the same dad?and what is the definition of a 'casual' guy? IMO: Admin should also consider adding a lonely hearts section-there are many financially stable,social retards who would find it useful. . @Karqui, Mwambie atafute mtu amfanye mpango wa side. It will be much easier for her, let her lower her expectations as well, to the level ya steady go steady mosmos. There seems to many jokers and she is getting disappointed, she says all they want is goodies then they MIA. Hii maisha ningumu to make a balance. she is getting worried by the day as kids will soon be grown and leave the hub making it more lonelier.
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