@Alpha,

In your culture,there is the spirit (positive) which symbolises something.In the 1.2 Mirrion case,is there any spirit?.It could be there and i think it's a negative spirit by all means....ama?

To some communities, like the Kikuyu, cash equivalent is acceptable. To others it may not be acceptable. @nakujua, we don't live in the barter trade era, we live in a monetary system. In negotiations, you'll be given a list of dowry requirements, and there are things you'll find yourself paying the cash equivalent of.

Understanding the dowry terms is not as hard as it seems. Before you visit your supposed future in-laws, you need to have an idea what may be required. You need to have an idea of the steps involved, etc. That's why you look for someone from your future bride's community, someone who knows how dowry works. This is for guidance purposes. Confusion comes in when you have no idea what is being asked or you think it borders on the absurd.

Even among Kikuyus (I'm just wondering why people aren't talking about other tribes), you'll find there's some differences (even if it is kidogo) between Kyuks from Kiambu, Nyeri or even Muranga. Kwa hivyo ukitaka bibi, it's very important to know what kind of culture they follow, if at all they do.

That's why ni muhimu to have someone from the bride's community on your side who knows dowry requirements, to avoid exploitation. Mtu asifikirie manzi akiingia box clan yote imeingia box. One may be in for a rude shock.

my point is that this is not tradition or culture we are following - its just a form of biashara.

Any correlation between dowry prize and quality of marriage?
People should not demand stuff but rather allow people to express gratitude in their own way because dowry has been misused and abused.

I read in one of our dailies about this lady who's fiancee was so broke she ended up paying her own dowry! Everything came out of her own pocket and the groom's party was received with joy.
Then they fell apart and she was devastated.

Actually death doesn't signify the end of it all if its yet to be cleared. My grandfather passed on in 1979 and four years ago we the children, grandchildren and great grandchildren of that boma were taking the final installment to my grandmother's home....can't quite remember what they called it.

We also say "ruracioruticokagio" meaning you cannot go back with what you planned to leave as dowry.this shows that your visit to the lady was not with a clean heart but just a commercial rite.just like someone stated that its all about bonding.what you plan to take leave it al there! Learnt that through the hard way:)

True.. The perceived nastiness is the equivalent of the way some colleagues at a former work place would take offence whenever I referred to them as women instead of ladies...

or get into a mwembe tayari ma and when the conda asks for the cash, say mamako

Hey! @Lolest
I was asked to bring the following:
1. I kg of skunk shit
2. 2 liters of Elephant pee
3. 40 ngoats (one of which has to have 3 balls.
4. 1 mbull

Now I took the list to wazee who quickly converted all this into cash and this is what they came up with.
1. I kg of skunk shit = ksh 500
2. 2 liters of Elephant pee = ksh 1000
3. 40 ngoat ---each @ksh 1000 = ksh 40,000
4. 1 mbuull = ksh 40,000

Now, all these is not supposed to be paid at once. It is your grand, grand, grand, grand children who should complete paying. All I am saying is the community where the girl comes from understand that their girl is not for sale. They want to see if their girl is safe. To date I have only paid 20 ngoats and 0ne mbuull. The skunk shit and elephant pee is still pending
...Now to you @essyk...Your friend must be dumb unless he was just playing one. If I was the relative of the girl I would suspend the engagement because pooling the girl's genes with those of the bukusu man could spell disaster for the future generation...Just kidding!