Roger that.

IPO...

INSHA NYERI:

VILE MAMA ALIMKUNG'UTA BABA

Kwetu ni Nyeri!...Kwa hivyo mamangu ni Mnyeri..sasa tuanze insha…

Ilikuwa mnamo mwendo wa saa sita usiku wa manane turikuwa tumerara usingizi wa pono tukaasikia nduruu na mayowe kutoka kule bedruuumu ya Mama na baba. Mara ya kwanza turirenga, lakini kilicho tushangaza abadaan kataani ni vile ile nduluu ilikuwa ni ya mwanaume..Akili zangu zikarudi masaa kadhaa kabla Tulare turiwacha kukiwa na tensheni!!. Kwa takribani miaka tano imepita mama amekuwa akimtishia baba kwa kumwaambia “ Nomaaa wee ithe wa wahome rimwe ndikugutha wee!!” (Sikumoja wee baba wahome nitakuwekerea vita) Nduluu ya baba iliendelea kuongezeka, na naskia mama akimwaambia “ Umuthi ngukuonia nganga mbute kana nguku njine” (Leo nitakuonyesha kanga iMengorewo manyoya). Turikuwa tumekatazwa kufika kule chumba cha wazazi cha kurara hata nini ifanyike!!..kwa hivyo hatukuwa na mbundi wara kafara ila kutazama tu na maskio!!.Niliskia baba akimsihi mama..” wooooi ma wa wahome tiga kujita njohera 2” (mama wahome wooooi wacha kuninyonga wooooi nisamehe”. Mama hakuwa anampa nafasi alikuwa akimkung’uta kung’uta!! Kama umbwa ameacha kinyesi sebuleni. Hayawi hayawi mwishowe huwa!! Turiamini pale mama aripotoka na kwenda stooo yetu na Kuwaacha amemwambia baba “Ndiroka gukuraga wee!! Hoya ria muisho”(Omba sara ya mwisho nakunja kufukuza uhai ndani yako”..hapo hata sisi turiamuka tuoone vile utafukuzwa tukaanza kushungria kwa tumianya twa ile bedruuumu. Mangai! musitake njua mama arirudi na panga!! Wolololo! Alimuwekere baba akiwa kirandani..kataaap! baba alinyongoroka juu ya kitanda akipiga nduluuu mingi ire sijawai kusikia akisema “ Wuuuuuiii, majirani..uyu niekunjuraga ukai!! Njohera wa Wahome..Kabra majirani wafike baba alikuwa amekura panga kama Kumi.!! Ungethani mama anakatakata kuni ama migomba ya ndizi..Majiranini warikuja na kumuokoa baba kutoka kwa shujaa mamangu ambaye arikuwa ameamua kufukuza uhai ndani ya baba!! Majirani warimshika mama.. na wengine wakaita gari halakahalaka iliyo na mbaraka,, kumpereka baba hospitari..Mama naye akaperekwa kwa shifo, Siku iliyofuatia saa nane tirienda kumuona baba yetu hospitari..turighathimbika tititi kumuona alivyokaa!! Arikuwa ameshona anakaa kitenge!! Daktari akatuuuliza “Huyu ni baba yenyu?” Tukasema hatuna uhakika..!Alikuwa hatamburiki si nywele wala sikio..!! sasa kiricho tushangaza for for for ni vile baba aritokea kwa runinga jioni akisema..”Hata sio mara ya kwaja amenipiga…naomba serikari iiingirie kati kwa sabambu hii si kama vita ni kama ya kifo!!,, amanikata kata kama mboga akiniwekerea mapanga” !!..hapo ndipo tukaamini msemo uliosemwo na chambilesho wahenga asiyefunzwa na mamaye hufunzwa na bibiye!!.”msemo na wahenga wa nyeri.

Spotted on Val's day in Nyeri...

anafaa aende hii training....

this is how u do it when u know she'z from nyeri!

Newsflash..

Demand for the Nyeri woman closed at an all time low after widespread
reports of husband batterings which have featured in one of the local
dailies...

Share experts advise that this is the best time to buy...

Parents are considering waiving dowry as an incentive 2 check mass
cancellation of bookings...

In the meantime an unexpected rush for new ID's has been recorded in
other regions with Nyeri chicks applying 4 change of place of birth &
place of issue....

Many investors in the Nyeri woman have expressed pessisim about the
future of their portfolios. To hedge against future loss they have
increased their demand for the less aggressive kaos counter. The market
indices have hit the mpango wa kando level buoyed by the increased
investor concerns.

Nyeri Men Training School:


We train all men intending to marry from Nyeri or those who have a
wife from there.

REGISTRATION (INTAKE) IN PROGRESS.

Lmao. This is just funny but listen to this story. I know this neighbour of ours in Nyeri. The man has 4 kids. A girl in std 6 and 3 small boys, one still breastfeeding. The man works occasionally at people's farms and he gets paid well. But during christmas I was shocked by his behaviour! The poor wife and kids spent christmas scavenging for food while the man went partying for 3 days nonstop!!! He came to our place drunk and I asked him why of all days he could not even buy bread,just a loaf of bread for his children with the money he earns,but he laughed wickedly and went away. That man earns as much as 5k a day working on people's farms but as soon as he gets paid his next stop is the local pub. He only shows up home empty and drunk and passes his poor kids by the roadside!! Torn clothes,dirty like chokoras. They take off on seeing him. The kids don't go to school!,we tried involving the educational officials but they did nothing.The man comes to eat at my grandmas place when hes drunk! while his wife and kids sleep hungry. At times we feed the poor kids.Now I discovered that the man eats more from our place than his own kids. He pretends to work at the farm and shows up to eat.That is his lifestyle everyday.Total neglect of wife and kids.On a serious note, why shouldnt such a fellow get beaten? I get disgusted when I go home and he shows up to beg for money cz I know he can never buy even soap for the kids to bathe. I keep saying all these men getting beaten up have neglected their families to the core.You need to hear both sides and you will be tempted to beat them more.Some cases are soo pathetic and scream of desperationa and despair. I at times wonder how these women survive with such fellows in the house cz they have become irresponsible yet they have money. There are some men who drink soberly but they do not neglect their families. Its just a shame.Style up Men!