Being old enough to look behind, I am often filled with a sense of dread that I have had so little sex education, and more often than not I have had to go by trial and error, mimicking of western mannerisms from the movies and by and large, I have succumbed to lust and fantasy as my tutors.

But I also realize that sexuality is at the center of humanity. Freud speaks about it endlessly; the book of proverbs will almost bore one with warnings about the seductress, ditto the book of Wisdom. (Need I mention literature and tradition from the orient?)

And so I come to my question: Why is it that in the Kenyan context so little is taught by the relevant institutions? Is it a deliberate attempt to keep us in fetters?

@Kaka M

What would I like to know?

I'd like to know the significance of sex on my overall being and to the society.

What are the dynamics involved when a middle aged man(probably married) is seen luring a young girl in a club? What is the implication of older women scouting for young toy boys?

Our present culture glorifies the capping up of an orgasm with the spilling of the 'life force' even when reproduction is not intended. But there are cultures that teach people on 'sexual Kung-fu' the art of enjoying coitus without ejaculating. Is this an important difference?

What is the relation between coitus and love making?

Questions abound Kaka!

@Bwenyenye,

Considering that the issue of sex entails a society's entire world view, I see no problem with these things being addressed in secondary school, or even upper primary.

In fact, I think that had we had better sex education then we'd be looking at the matters of AIDS, abortion, same sex relations and the such matters in a very different light.

By the way at what age do most Kenyans get into the sexual fray?

Lack of teaching these things can actually kill as witnessed previously...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HN9Tqhc2OFY

@Kaka,

Pardon the typo, but what I wanted to ask is:

How does sex foster support between a couple?

Tycho. I do not think there is any need for concern. All the important things in life (and sex is extremely important) must be learnt but that does not mean that they must be taught. Nobody teaches a baby how to suckle, walk, run, swallow, breathe etc but they learn it anyway. Sex in my opinion is in the same category as all these things that any normal human being has the natural capacity to discover. No teacher is required. God in his wisdom built it into the system and if you were to leave a boy and girl on a desert island with no instructor at some point they will figure it out.

@ Carygoh ( She took over from @ Mwende) angelikuwa hapa,anguwapa majiabu chungu nzima kuhusu swali hili. Lakini sasa vile hayupo,hii imegeuka ikawa philosophia

Sasa @ Tycho anataka tuseme nini?

@famooz,
(A poem):
Sio hivyo budaa, Ni vile toung’ue yangu iko.
Na hata sioengeangi mara mob!

Concern zangu ni genuine.

Life yangu iko kwa stake,

Shingo ina hang!

If there's so little talk about it, how can there be understanding?

How can shame sustain truth?

On your second question; we are talking about sex here, truth is a much more complex issue. Now on to your first. I gather from the the way you frame your question you have had a lot of Western thinking influence. You hold the premise that understanding can only be fostered by talking. The more you can talk about something, the more you can describe something, the more you can verbalize your experience, then the more understanding you gain or display about the subject. That may be true on subjects such as philosophy or history where the subject is literal. It is what is written or said. It does not involve action. For subjects that involve action and i would put sex in this category verbalization and discussion does not necessarily foster greater understanding.

I would give you the example of our Kenyan marathon runners. If you watch the post marathon interviews of a Kenyan runner who finished first in a race and say an American runner who finished 50th you might get the impression that the Kenyan does not know much about marathon running while the American really knows how to run a marathon. But is this really the case? Of course not. Just because you can describe something more fluently does not mean you are good at it. Sex education in my opinion would just mean introducing terms and definitions and just making people better at discussing the subject but would not in my opinion add any value to what needs to be known.

If however by sex education you mean practicals then I am all for it. I think the best would be for older women say in their 30s and 40s when they are at the peak of their sexual maturation to have apprenticeship relations with teenage boys say 14 to 18 and teach them what they need to know. The arrangement is mutually beneficial and the society would be much better for it.