Wazua
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Weddings: The newest form of exploitation
Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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Kwanini wrote:feel cheated... having contributed to so many weddings. are majority of wazuans already wedded hence the fait accompli? by same argument should we attend burial arrangements- people should have insurance? , harambees for the sick [why dont they have medical cover?] rushing a sick neighbour to hospital at night- shouldn't he call an ambulance?
Aren't social norms ingrained in us, as we grow... no man is an island, what we should be against is sheer exhibitionism. Lets not get issues mixed up..... you can live without a "400-invited-guests" wedding, but you cant live with a dead body not sent off, or a sickness, or force a baby not to be born..... so burial, sickness, a pregnant neighbour who needs lift to hospital, a child who needs education etc is a must... wedding? why should i fund your pleasures? but i can buy you a beer! @burning... what's up with the "wendings"?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/9/2009 Posts: 6,592 Location: Nairobi
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I think it is okay to help your friend or relative in whatever way you can even financially. The point is to assist your friend/relative have a good wedding. I'm not saying get a loan and assist them but just give what you can and the amount should not be be decided on by a committee as that's not the work of a committee. When I did my wedding I did not ask anyone for money (it's beyond me and my wife) plus we had planned and saved enough but we quite surprised and impressed by our friends who gave us a sizable amount of money and help on the day. So I guess it's the kind of person you are, and how you plan. Who said you must do your big wedding in Dec 2011? If you can't afford it then do a simple wedding or save till 2014. I have taken part in many committees some are grateful others are ungrateful but all in all I've no regrets and I'll continue.
BBI will solve it :)
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/19/2007 Posts: 2,047
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Wendz wrote:Kwanini wrote:feel cheated... having contributed to so many weddings. are majority of wazuans already wedded hence the fait accompli? by same argument should we attend burial arrangements- people should have insurance? , harambees for the sick [why dont they have medical cover?] rushing a sick neighbour to hospital at night- shouldn't he call an ambulance?
Aren't social norms ingrained in us, as we grow... no man is an island, what we should be against is sheer exhibitionism. Lets not get issues mixed up..... you can live without a "400-invited-guests" wedding, but you cant live with a dead body not sent off, or a sickness, or force a baby not to be born..... so burial, sickness, a pregnant neighbour who needs lift to hospital, a child who needs education etc is a must... wedding? why should i fund your pleasures? but i can buy you a beer! @burning... what's up with the "wendings"? @ Wendz,i agree with you but even with the burial send off,i think peeps are talking it to far. What is the point of budgeting for a casket worth 30K if you do not have the money then ask the burial committee to pay? In my village,there is dude who died after a long illness.So people had changad for his hospital bill but then he passed on:(. So during the committee,there was a list of mpaka clothes for the family too wear,budget was huko juu like 100K ( this is little money,i know burials cost almost kama hizo weddings i see on the wedding show)but bottom line is that the burial committee was expected to raise this cash. Guess what happened one month after the funeral? The widow went and bought a car 
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Rank: Chief Joined: 8/24/2009 Posts: 5,909 Location: Nairobi
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ati helping a man pay dowry!! ABK... and when you feel cheated in a committee, walk out....
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Rank: Elder Joined: 8/11/2010 Posts: 1,588
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I have just been invited by sms, by a cousin to contribute some money (3,000) for her wedding. I am not even in the committee. I never knew she even had a man friend.
Maybe if I maintain silence she just will go away.
Honestly I don't have time for these feel-good one-day ventures.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/22/2009 Posts: 7,836
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Wendz wrote:@burning... what's up with the "wendings"? Thinking of Wendz and wedding at the same time!  Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good returns.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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famooz wrote:Wendz wrote:Kwanini wrote:feel cheated... having contributed to so many weddings. are majority of wazuans already wedded hence the fait accompli? by same argument should we attend burial arrangements- people should have insurance? , harambees for the sick [why dont they have medical cover?] rushing a sick neighbour to hospital at night- shouldn't he call an ambulance?
Aren't social norms ingrained in us, as we grow... no man is an island, what we should be against is sheer exhibitionism. Lets not get issues mixed up..... you can live without a "400-invited-guests" wedding, but you cant live with a dead body not sent off, or a sickness, or force a baby not to be born..... so burial, sickness, a pregnant neighbour who needs lift to hospital, a child who needs education etc is a must... wedding? why should i fund your pleasures? but i can buy you a beer! @burning... what's up with the "wendings"? @ Wendz,i agree with you but even with the burial send off,i think peeps are talking it to far. What is the point of budgeting for a casket worth 30K if you do not have the money then ask the burial committee to pay? In my village,there is dude who died after a long illness.So people had changad for his hospital bill but then he passed on:(. So during the committee,there was a list of mpaka clothes for the family too wear,budget was huko juu like 100K ( this is little money,i know burials cost almost kama hizo weddings i see on the wedding show)but bottom line is that the burial committee was expected to raise this cash. Guess what happened one month after the funeral? The widow went and bought a car Wendz, you don't know how some people can be unreasonable, you refuse take part in his wedding committe then you better forget about calling him when your child is sick or you've lost a close one. It's really about how you relate and agree, if you accept to be part of it then don't come here and complain, also note that it depends from one person to another, there are those with no partners and don't plan to marry, kuna wale walioa kitambo and wedding is not in their plans, there are those who would wish you a better wedding than they had,kuna wadaku about the same na wamejaa hapa wazua whose only job ni udaku and will never contribute!! there are those also planning a wedding in the future (best contributors), there are friends and relatives who will never desert you, then there are those who are just philanthropic and will generously contribute.....as yesewangu said before, suti, wedding gown, rings, honeymoon and such stuff should really not crop up in the committee discussions!!!! If you are planning on a wedding in the future and want to have a wedding committee.....avoid the fellows in bold....otherwise, heartache tupu!!! ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/19/2007 Posts: 2,047
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@ Mc Just read your post hapo juu and i am so now who are these wadakus
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Rank: Member Joined: 8/11/2009 Posts: 302
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McReggae wrote:famooz wrote:Wendz wrote:Kwanini wrote:feel cheated... having contributed to so many weddings. are majority of wazuans already wedded hence the fait accompli? by same argument should we attend burial arrangements- people should have insurance? , harambees for the sick [why dont they have medical cover?] rushing a sick neighbour to hospital at night- shouldn't he call an ambulance?
Aren't social norms ingrained in us, as we grow... no man is an island, what we should be against is sheer exhibitionism. Lets not get issues mixed up..... you can live without a "400-invited-guests" wedding, but you cant live with a dead body not sent off, or a sickness, or force a baby not to be born..... so burial, sickness, a pregnant neighbour who needs lift to hospital, a child who needs education etc is a must... wedding? why should i fund your pleasures? but i can buy you a beer! @burning... what's up with the "wendings"? @ Wendz,i agree with you but even with the burial send off,i think peeps are talking it to far. What is the point of budgeting for a casket worth 30K if you do not have the money then ask the burial committee to pay? In my village,there is dude who died after a long illness.So people had changad for his hospital bill but then he passed on:(. So during the committee,there was a list of mpaka clothes for the family too wear,budget was huko juu like 100K ( this is little money,i know burials cost almost kama hizo weddings i see on the wedding show)but bottom line is that the burial committee was expected to raise this cash. Guess what happened one month after the funeral? The widow went and bought a car Wendz, you don't know how some people can be unreasonable, you refuse take part in his wedding committe then you better forget about calling him when your child is sick or you've lost a close one. It's really about how you relate and agree, if you accept to be part of it then don't come here and complain, also note that it depends from one person to another, there are those with no partners and don't plan to marry, kuna wale walioa kitambo and wedding is not in their plans, there are those who would wish you a better wedding than they had,kuna wadaku about the same na wamejaa hapa wazua whose only job ni udaku and will never contribute!! there are those also planning a wedding in the future (best contributors), there are friends and relatives who will never desert you, then there are those who are just philanthropic and will generously contribute.....as yesewangu said before, suti, wedding gown, rings, honeymoon and such stuff should really not crop up in the committee discussions!!!! If you are planning on a wedding in the future and want to have a wedding committee.....avoid the fellows in bold....otherwise, heartache tupu!!! @Mcreggae, I think youre diversionary or have missed the point. All here seem to be in support of weddings and other social events. Whet we are against is the exploitative stances taken in the name of weddings. There is something called social capital, which everyone must strive to have. It includes having genuine friends and family and getting genuinely interested in helping or sorting out friends and relatives whether financially or morally. I will gladly help financially, or by being an MC, driver, logistics e.t.c if I feel I'm not being exploited. Surely if your wedding budget is 500k, you must at least be ready to foot at least 2/3 of the bill. Anyhow, you will still receive lots of gifts whose worth may be very high but being the bloodsuckers that most Kenyans are, we never want to acknowledge this sad fact.
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Rank: Member Joined: 3/18/2008 Posts: 377
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Life is about "give and take". This applies to my friends and even relatives and weddings are no exception. I can contribute if I believe its a worthy investment. Next time, it will be your turn; not to contribute to my wedding but to my other life needs (not necessarily financial. As long as one is able, contribution to Sickness, & fees, should not be counted. "You've never lived until you've almost died; for those who have fought for it, life has a flavour the protected will never know."
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