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Weddings: The newest form of exploitation
Rank: Veteran Joined: 7/22/2008 Posts: 1,139
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This is absolutely true. The super cons are ur friends. I have been conned severally by friends and those village mates who look for your contacts even from your parents back in the village. The most painful is of a lady friend who invited me coz we were drinking buddies,I felt touched and gave 10k to their useless goat eating even when I ate only one piece of meat (cant remember whether it was from actual goat or a maasai zebu) and the rest was muchere na mukimo. After their weeding,the stupid couples separated 18 days later ...yes 18 days later. My 10k was gone and a duvets gift which had cost me 7k. Ata leo hiyo 17k inaniuma even if it sounds small to some. I will personally never do a wedding and if Mrs Spear want one,my church (Roman Catholic) allows 4 pax ie couplee and witnesses which can be done one early morning.Alternatively, AG yuko but I will never get stressed by things that dont add value in my life. "You're not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who says it". Malcolm X
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/17/2009 Posts: 2,040 Location: GA
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GREENCARD winners is another lot that should be avoided you changia the guy escort him to the airport 3 years down the line when he comes back utashangaa .when it comes to major life decisions involving close friends the best thing is to keep off even if they invoke the jealousy word otherwise you may live to regret
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 5/13/2010 Posts: 869 Location: Nairobi
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I think if you agree to be on the committee, do not complain. You agreed. I only sit on committees of my friends and i always insist that rings, wedding gown/suit and the honeymoon should at their expense. If we cannot agree at that initial stage of the meetings I opt out. Unless i am the maid of honour or on the line up (and in that case i am a very good friend), i would leave if i find it exploitative. I share my views with them on the budget. For example if i feel there is too much being put on deco, i say! Or Venue! Lastly, what i budget to give at the beginning is what i give, whether or not we met the budget. A wedding can happen on a 50-100k budget. I have seen it happen. ....above all, to stand.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 6/8/2010 Posts: 1,734
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Reminds me of a guy i met at Club Betty's one evening watching chelsea -arsenal game, even before the game started he was tipsy as we discussed what we expect from the game. I had audacity of asking why he started drinking so early even before Drogba tested Jens on the posts. The guy told me he went for a birthday party for a friends kid and decided to buy a Fire Engine toy as gift, when he reached the place to enter you buy a white handkerchief at 250kshs, then when he gave the gift he was told that the truck needs fuel, he gave 500ksh but was told that fuel to go to the field but not to return so he parted with a K. After that he got an imaginary call excused himself and made it to betty's in time, interestingly the guy he left at the party called him to say that the guys are requesting for the spare tire for the truck, the guy just cut off the phone wrote a message to his dude and said meet me at betty's when you are through and switched off the phone Life is an endless adventure
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/22/2009 Posts: 7,833
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freiks wrote:Reminds me of a guy i met at Club Betty's one evening watching chelsea -arsenal game, even before the game started he was tipsy as we discussed what we expect from the game. I had audacity of asking why he started drinking so early even before Drogba tested Jens on the posts. The guy told me he went for a birthday party for a friends kid and decided to buy a Fire Engine toy as gift, when he reached the place to enter you buy a white handkerchief at 250kshs, then when he gave the gift he was told that the truck needs fuel, he gave 500ksh but was told that fuel to go to the field but not to return so he parted with a K. After that he got an imaginary call excused himself and made it to betty's in time, interestingly the guy he left at the party called him to say that the guys are requesting for the spare tire for the truck, the guy just cut off the phone wrote a message to his dude and said meet me at betty's when you are through and switched off the phone  Some of this "parties" are pure fund raisers. Someone is broke (or realizes shares are selling at a bargain - LOL) and decides to throw a birthday "party" for junior!!! Then there are those "kuzindikisha" gimmicks. First the guy waits until everyone changas as much as possible then they start "kuzindikisha" business. "Spendthrift ametoa elfu tatu. Nani atamzindikisha? @BurningSpear zindikisha rafiki yako na elfu mbili (never mind @BurningSpear has already parted with 5k - 10k). Na yeye @Burningspear atazindikishwa na @McReggae na elfu moja...." Brary Gasket!!! Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good returns.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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Ms Mkenya wrote:I think if you agree to be on the committee, do not complain. You agreed.
I only sit on committees of my friends and i always insist that rings, wedding gown/suit and the honeymoon should at their expense. If we cannot agree at that initial stage of the meetings I opt out.
Unless i am the maid of honour or on the line up (and in that case i am a very good friend), i would leave if i find it exploitative. I share my views with them on the budget. For example if i feel there is too much being put on deco, i say! Or Venue!
Lastly, what i budget to give at the beginning is what i give, whether or not we met the budget. A wedding can happen on a 50-100k budget. I have seen it happen. That should be standard way of looking at it!! ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/19/2010 Posts: 1,308 Location: nairobi metropolitan
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Mainat wrote:The last straw was the honeymoon to Zanzibar where none of the members have ever been. @ mainat, hio ni kali. I hold the view that people should learn to live within their means. Nimefanya hesabu, and the figures are amazing and i have decided from today i will only contribute sparingly if it is absolutely necessary. Democracy does not belong to the dead
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/19/2007 Posts: 2,047
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Rank: User Joined: 8/29/2011 Posts: 1,045 Location: Mtaani
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Teacher,"X = Y & Y = Z it means X = Z,Can yu give examples?" Student,"Sir,I lov yu & yu lov yo daughter,it means I lov yo daughter" Oh!
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Rank: User Joined: 8/29/2011 Posts: 1,045 Location: Mtaani
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By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks his father is wrong.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 7/22/2011 Posts: 1,325
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Burning Spear wrote:This is absolutely true. The super cons are ur friends. I have been conned severally by friends and those village mates who look for your contacts even from your parents back in the village.
The most painful is of a lady friend who invited me coz we were drinking buddies,I felt touched and gave 10k to their useless goat eating even when I ate only one piece of meat (cant remember whether it was from actual goat or a maasai zebu) and the rest was muchere na mukimo. After their weeding,the stupid couples separated 18 days later ...yes 18 days later. My 10k was gone and a duvets gift which had cost me 7k.
Ata leo hiyo 17k inaniuma even if it sounds small to some.
I will personally never do a wedding and if Mrs Spear want one,my church (Roman Catholic) allows 4 pax ie couplee and witnesses which can be done one early morning.Alternatively, AG yuko but I will never get stressed by things that dont add value in my life. LOL thats funny, I guess early morning is to ensure no guests!!!! Hata mama na baba??? Ama they are the witnesses....
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 12/9/2010 Posts: 894 Location: Nairobi
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glad most of you share my view. Don't wait for the Last Judgment. It happens every day. ~Albert Camus, The Fall, 1956
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/18/2011 Posts: 12,069 Location: Kianjokoma
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Im shocked that over 40 posts there is no dissenting voice. Wish wazua could be lyk that on politics. I attend comms for friends n workmates n i dont think its a bad thing. It is part of todays Kenyan culture! It is among the few times when people meet and plan stuff together. Good for reunions etc. Many people earn less than 100k pm n yet want to hold a nice(not xtravagant) wedding. They want the parents to b involved n friends too. How will they afford it with a salo of 40k? Society came up with these comms which are much like merry go rounds where those who cant afford costly events can raise the funds. They will also be required to chip in for their friends later. Granted, some have abused this thing but on the whole I think its ok. Like this guy who had a huge comm with his parents friends dominating. The young kept off or took low profile roles in the close to 100 member comm!
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Rank: Member Joined: 11/24/2011 Posts: 833
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I am impressed by the number of people who think the harambee for weddings is a con, to be honest in real life I am a pariah on this one. I believe people should plan for their needs and live within their means. The same applies for the michangos to send your tois to private uni or parallel, if you give birth to a kid today, you know that he/she will need to be in uni in 19 years time, its not a f***ing emergency.
Having said that, where there is real genuine need please always lend a hand, that what makes Africans unique, the togetherness
Best wedding I ever saw was Githongo's the anti corruption Czar, look it up on youtube, thats how i would do it halafu change nitanunua plot
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 3/25/2010 Posts: 939 Location: Nai
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Lolest! wrote:Im shocked that over 40 posts there is no dissenting voice. Wish wazua could be lyk that on politics. I attend comms for friends n workmates n i dont think its a bad thing. It is part of todays Kenyan culture! It is among the few times when people meet and plan stuff together. Good for reunions etc. Many people earn less than 100k pm n yet want to hold a nice(not xtravagant) wedding. They want the parents to b involved n friends too. How will they afford it with a salo of 40k? Society came up with these comms which are much like merry go rounds where those who cant afford costly events can raise the funds. They will also be required to chip in for their friends later. Granted, some have abused this thing but on the whole I think its ok. Like this guy who had a huge comm with his parents friends dominating. The young kept off or took low profile roles in the close to 100 member comm! if you can't afford don't go for it! AG only requires 1250.
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