if a man can't take care of his own shit, then he's no man.
if a woman can't be wise with money, then she's no woman.

no wonder these marriages can't withstand simple issues like a bad hair day.

I have always wondered why people beg for something as optional as an expensive wedding. Being in these parasitic wedding commitees is a no-no for me. Picture this, every wedding commitee member is required to pledge say 25,000 bob coming to a total of say 500k. Each of these guys have to sacrifice hard and on top of these some have to fuel their own cars to the series of visits to the girl's home, contribute to dowry, pay their own hotel bills while there, buy suits from their cash and even sort out sleeping arrangements for some relatives of the bridal party who may have travelled from coast of Western and need to sleep. Then add the respectable gift, costing say at least 10k- and the man (I'll be gentle and say couple) enjoys the sex alone. Nine months later, the couple has a kid and then another series of "mkono-mtupu-haulambwi" visits ensue. Diapers, baby cots, clothes na sukari ya nyumbani and what have you.

Then about a month or even less after the wedding, either the groom or bride acquire their Kshs 1 million plot at Syokimau or even more insulting a Kshs 1.25 million Subaru Forester replacement for their aging but well running Toyota AE 90 that was already on the high seas when "friends" (some of whom have to take matatus back to their rented houses after the commitee meetings which usually take place after work hours) were being milked dry to fund an expensive wedding. I once attended one such commitee where the budget was 550K and when I asked the devil's question of how much the couple was going to contribute, I was met with unspoken fury. Pressed, they said their contribution was 70K. I never returned to the subsequent meetings and waited for the wedding day where I brought my gift of a rather highly priced duvet as my gift. I didn't have any problem buying the gift but wouldn't have contributed any amount of money to this monkey-business-wedding-commitee.

Surely a wedding is a personal affair so one should have a wedding they can afford or be willing to make personal sacrifices for the wedding you want to take place. Its just that simple.


That said I also reckon that even if you had 100% of the funding required for your kind of wedding, it is still important to rope in the help of friends and family to make things work i.e organising transport, preparing the church, logistics for catering, cake e.t.c otherwise it is impossible for the bridal party to do these things on their own and this is the right kind of committee.

I think @ spend has summarised the whole thing...... and i agree with the role/ right kind of committee- logistics

What ires me is those mates from shags or your hood, whom you're not even close pals but have managed to get your contacts from your folks , are the one who pester you with those sms reminding you that you have NOT pledged and later invite you to a goat-eating party-a week to the wedding to fleece you whatever little was left after you pledged

just two weeks ago, another one invited me to a committee meeting to plan for the bugger's graduation tea-party (UoN)] and when i didn't turn up, he had the audacity to call and ask for my contribution (*,)

The last straw was the honeymoon to Zanzibar where none of the members have ever been.