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How do i deal with an ex who is a nuissance
Rank: New-farer Joined: 3/29/2011 Posts: 63
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TAZ wrote:jjred wrote:Two years ago we were in a relationship with this guy called mr.X. Then as we were preparing for our wedding realized that the guy was unfaithful to me. I found him two times with his ex-girl friend in his rooms. Since i did not want to cause any drama returned his wedding ring and told him to marry a lady of his choice.
He was frank enough and told me that he will not marry the lady i found him with who was from western but will marry one from eastern.
This one proved that he had a number of ladies in his life which he didn’t deny but pretended that it’s the ladies who are chasing after him.
At this point, i just thank the Almighty for having revealed this character at the right time. Though i was hurt very much, i decided to move on.
Unfortunately, a baby was conceived during the time we were together and he told me to abort decided to carry the baby to terms but 8 months down the line he called to find out whether i aborted now have a wonderful baby girl and decided never to bother him with anything since he promised that he will never support the baby.
He works in Sudan but whenever he comes back to Kenya, he bothers me so much and causes a lot of drama. What do i do with such a person? All i need is peace, burying my past and moving on but when he resurrect the whole issue, he takes me back to Misiri
"we were preparing for our wedding"...what do you mean by preparing? So you caught him with his ex-girlfriend and you even had time to discuss who he prefers, Mluhya ama Mkamba. I think you were not as special as you thought, just one of his many girlfriends but unfortunately or fortunately for him you got knocked up. The fact that you have his baby means he'll always be in your life directly or indirectly.... Too bad we'll never get to hear the guy's side of the story. Btw you haven't told us what the guy does when he cmes back from Sudan that bothers you so much. I have a question for you, if the guy decided to support HIS baby now what would be your response? @Taz,he is intending to support the child if and only if we are back together.Dont you think that is a good condition? This is a very difficult situation and i will not brag that am expert at it but i pray to God to keep my doughter safe so that she may not pay for the iniquities of her parents.Even if he goes to court,i dont think he will win coz at a particular time he stated in black & white that if he did not want the child from the beginning what makes me think that he now wants her,at that moment the baby was sick But still i pray to God to give me wisdom,sitaki vita na kisrani kwa mtoto wangu,tumetoka mbali na bado tunaenda mbali
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Rank: Member Joined: 10/23/2007 Posts: 604
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@jjred you are at the point of getting it very right or very wrong.
You need to evaluate so much.
1. The soul-tie between you and this guy.
2. Effect of being sexually involved with a man outside marriage
3. The fact that he is the child's father- it will pay off praying for his salvation.
4. Finally, the will of God.
Number 3 is very important. The place of a father in a child's development is very important. It cannot be wished away, unless that man is dead, physically dead.
Number 4 wll guide you on what to do.
This guy could be your God-created husband but due to lack of salvation, you both messed up. Sin jumbles up so much.
This guy could just be a partner in fornication. This is easy to deal with but is now complicated by the lovely baby girl.
You need to deal with this matter step by step. At some point you'll need to sit down with this man, the girl's father and have a straight talk.
Both of you need to come to terms with the sin of fornication- together, the effect and how to handle the case of your daughter.
You need to apologise to one another for leading each other into sin.
You need to seek forgiveness from another for the above mentioned.
Siz, there's power in the blood of Jesus but because it's not witchcraft, you must appropriate it as per the Word of God.
Confession-repentance-cleansing-cover.
(I hope you understand am not condemning you. Nowadays it's hard saying things plainly. I doing this out of love. I desire you have a good life down here and eventually get to heaven. Including that man.)
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 5/31/2011 Posts: 89
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This is spirit of confusion mama,If you indeed have moved on,don't look back!!! soon or later it will spoil the future you are planning with your new man.
Put all your energies on your husband and baby.God has a way of dealing with our past and what you think may happen might not....
Keep Moving on!
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 3/29/2011 Posts: 63
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@Cool,thanks for your comment.Its true we sinned but to me i repented and reconciled with my maker.Deep in my heart am not filling condemn anymore,i am forgiven.
Early this year my ex-called me ,he told me that he is disturbed so much and is even conterplating suicide.He asked for my forgiveness and i forgave him i also asked for his forgiveness.But that does not mean we continue with the r/ship.
I was very loyal to him but right now the trust is no more even after the reconciliation,i honestly feel nothing for him and i told him exactly that.He wished me well with the person who will come into my life and so did i,not unless he didnt mean what he was saying but i meant mine.I pray that God may give him a good wife and one day both of us shall meet in heaven as one preacher oneday said...EVERY SAINT HAS A PAST
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/14/2007 Posts: 4,152
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jjred wrote:
He wished me well with the person who will come into my life and so did i,not unless he didnt mean what he was saying but i meant mine.I pray that God may give him a good wife and one day both of us shall meet in heaven as one preacher oneday said...EVERY SAINT HAS A PAST
Sasa kama you've reconciled shida iko wapi?
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 3/29/2011 Posts: 63
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@TAZ,May be i cld have said that we forgave one another.I realised that in life forgiveness is a must and by doing so you are only doing yourself a favour.....
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Rank: Member Joined: 7/9/2011 Posts: 730 Location: Nairobi
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if you once liked the guy, and he may be changed now, grown up and seen the folly of his ways. What is so hard to try things out .After all you are christian and should forgive. I am surprised no one suggested that. Is cheating that bad? nobody was killed ni lungula tu na haishangi our goals are best achieved indirectly
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Rank: Member Joined: 4/26/2011 Posts: 759
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@jjred.
These people are not helping, my names are Drunkard Rollout, give me his number and i will deal with him.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 12/9/2010 Posts: 894 Location: Nairobi
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Rollout wrote:@jjred.
These people are not helping, my names are Drunkard Rollout, give me his number and i will deal with him. Hehehehe, i didn't know there is a mutated drunkard.  Don't wait for the Last Judgment. It happens every day. ~Albert Camus, The Fall, 1956
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