Nightmare No.1

After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled
out a cigarette from his jeans & searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand.
"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.
He opened the drawer of the bedside table & found a box of matches
sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.
Naturally, the guy began to worry.
"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.
"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.
Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."

Nightmare No. 2

The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to
think of ways to rekindle it.
One night he came from work, & found his wife asleep in
bed. He thought to himself, "what should I do? Oh I know."
He proceeded to get under the covers & go down on his wife.
Soon she began to gently squirm & moan in pleasure. After a few minutes, her body spasmed with ecstasy as she climaxed.

Afterwards, the man went straight to the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he got there, the light was on & he saw his wife there shaving her legs.
He exclaimed, "What are you doing in here!?"
She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed, You'll wake your mother"

Continue . . .