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Just for laughs...corner
Rank: Member Joined: 8/2/2010 Posts: 480 Location: chokoo
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C&P
Only a kikuyu would understand the english below..
There are Luopeans, there is Spanglish...introducing, Kyuklish:
In 1990s, thea was a bus called 'Judy Smart Star' & it was carrying
the Nyeri/Othaya route. Let me tell u, this car was going. In fact, it
was finishing hills very fast & beating corners like lack of
importance. It even had song -the speakers were removing to remove!
Because those days there were no Michuki Rules, the goers were even
allowed to hold metal!..(Typical Nyerian narrating ;)
...that bus, 'Judy Smart Star' has received a lot of accolades; Let me
tell you, Judy was there a lot! (yarikuo muno). The makanga would beat
its ribs to stop for the goers and then load for them their burdens
(mirigo).The goodness of that car, when it caught the road (yanyita
faara), it was nywee....we wented, we wented & we wented. Let us went,
we are thooose! Tugithii, tugithii, reke tugithii.
Niithui acio!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/31/2008 Posts: 7,081 Location: Kenya
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...Ujinga ni kuuza ng'ombe upeleke ng'ombe ingine shule
(Fro m std daily)
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/31/2008 Posts: 7,081 Location: Kenya
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2030 std 8 History exam
20. In early 2008, the devil visited Kenya shortly under whose invitation?
a. Uhuru Kenyatta/William Ruto
b. Joshua Sang/Uhuru Kenyatta
c. Francis Kirimi Muthaura/Henry Kosgey
d. William Ruto/Francis Kirimi Muthaura
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/9/2009 Posts: 2,003
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karqui wrote:C&P
Only a kikuyu would understand the english below..
There are Luopeans, there is Spanglish...introducing, Kyuklish:
In 1990s, thea was a bus called 'Judy Smart Star' & it was carrying
the Nyeri/Othaya route. Let me tell u, this car was going. In fact, it
was finishing hills very fast & beating corners like lack of
importance. It even had song -the speakers were removing to remove!
Because those days there were no Michuki Rules, the goers were even
allowed to hold metal!..(Typical Nyerian narrating ;)
...that bus, 'Judy Smart Star' has received a lot of accolades; Let me
tell you, Judy was there a lot! (yarikuo muno). The makanga would beat
its ribs to stop for the goers and then load for them their burdens
(mirigo).The goodness of that car, when it caught the road (yanyita
faara), it was nywee....we wented, we wented & we wented. Let us went,
we are thooose! Tugithii, tugithii, reke tugithii.
Niithui acio!  Ndiiriga gutheka uguo. I love wazua!
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Rank: Member Joined: 2/11/2008 Posts: 126
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mwakamoja wrote:Betty went to a supermarket last week. She parked next to a car with a woman resting on the driver’s seat, her eyes closed and hands behind her head, apparently sleeping. When Betty came out a while later, she again saw the woman, her hands still behind her head but this time, her eyes open.
The woman looked very strange, so Betty tapped on the window and asked "Are you okay? The woman answered "I've been shot in the head, and I am holding my brains in." Betty didn't know what to do; so she ran into the supermarket where supermarket officials called the paramedics.
They had to break into the car because the door was locked. When they got in, they found that the woman had bread dough on the back of her head and in her hands.
A biscuit canister had exploded, apparently from the heat in the car, making a loud explosion like that of a gunshot, and hit her in the head. When she reached back to find what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She passed out from fright at first, but then she had to hold her "brains" in as she hoped for assistance![/color][color=olive] dough + supermarket carpark + biscuit canister. they just dont add up 
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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An inspirational speaker said:
"The Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife."
The audience were in shock and silence..............
He added:
"She was my mother"
A big round of applause & laughter followed!
A very daring husband tried to crack this at home.
After a dinner, he said loudly to his wife in the kitchen:
"The Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife"
Standing for a moment, he tried to recall the second line of that speaker, He couldn't.
By the time he gained his senses, he was on a hospital bed, recovering from burns of boiling water!
Moral: DON'T COPY, IF U CAN'T PASTE
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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MrTyrus wrote:mwakamoja wrote:Betty went to a supermarket last week. She parked next to a car with a woman resting on the driver’s seat, her eyes closed and hands behind her head, apparently sleeping. When Betty came out a while later, she again saw the woman, her hands still behind her head but this time, her eyes open.
The woman looked very strange, so Betty tapped on the window and asked "Are you okay? The woman answered "I've been shot in the head, and I am holding my brains in." Betty didn't know what to do; so she ran into the supermarket where supermarket officials called the paramedics.
They had to break into the car because the door was locked. When they got in, they found that the woman had bread dough on the back of her head and in her hands.
A biscuit canister had exploded, apparently from the heat in the car, making a loud explosion like that of a gunshot, and hit her in the head. When she reached back to find what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She passed out from fright at first, but then she had to hold her "brains" in as she hoped for assistance![/color][color=olive] dough + supermarket carpark + biscuit canister. they just dont add up Attention attention! Someone please listen. Mr. Tyrus is lost.... we only have two options to save him... ok, lets make them 3.... 1. someone hold his "rat" and lead him to a serious thread that adds up 2. someone read him out loudly the title of this thread 3. someone lead him back to his village, shamakhokho!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 4/9/2008 Posts: 2,824
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A man is stopped by the police at midnight and asked where he’s going. “I’m on the way to listen to a lecture about the effects of alcohol and drug abuse on the human body.” The policeman asks, “Really? And who’s going to give a lecture at this time of night?” “My wife.” When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/23/2008 Posts: 3,966
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Spotted in a Kikuyu restaurant : Ukiiticha kitu harafu umbadiliche fikira! Ujue utaripa. Shakura ikiretwo imeretwo....Haturudichi. Maji ya kuoga iko ije. Thafuni pia iko rakini tumia kindogo. Ukishikwo ukiimba toothpick ujue utaripa mala kumi. Na si mcheso.Kama unanunuriwo na mutu useme ndio aripisho yeye , kama si hifyo , utaosha thafuria na thani mbaka ushoke. haya basi...utakura nini sasa ?? Luck is when Preparation meets Opportunity. ~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/24/2007 Posts: 1,805
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