All our applicants come from Top schools and they are obviously well trained for interviews.

These aren't people fresh out of school, these are seasoned "professionals", so their "game face" has long worn off. And these are not jokes. These are actual answers from people with good resumes. People are just people, and some of them are just strange. Especially ICT people. No amount of schooling can fix that.

Candidate 1:

If you don't mind me asking, what do you do outside of work? What are your pastimes and favorite activities?

[City Name Removed] Gay Men's Chorus. We're doing a really fabulous Christmas performance. You should come!


Candidate 2:

Why are you leaving your current position, with you current employer?

My !#(&%! boss. He's a !#@% . I mean, really man, he doesn't know what he's doing, and he just gets in the way of our work.


Candidate 3:

Say you were in a situation where, in the middle of the night, there's a critical Priority 1, Severity 1 level issue, you get called, but you are not the person on call- you are on an off day. You are the only person that Infrastructure Operations can get ahold of. What do you do?

It depends if I'm out getting baked with my buds or not. I mean, if it's a Saturday night, I'd rather not dial into the conference call, 'cause I might be high, well, not high, but drunk, [ha ha ha] you know what I mean man.


Candidate 4:

Why here, why this job?

The money is good and I've been unemployed for a while. I'd do anything to get this job. Anything you want me to. Seriously, whatever you want. Anything. [Batts eyelashes, licks lips].

And mind you, this person didn't look like the sun. More like the moon. The backside of the moon. I think I may have grimaced or spit in the trash can or something. At any rate, that's a walking talking law suit. The last thing I need is the Legal department angry at me.


Candidate 5:

What are three strengths of yours, and then tell me three weaknesses?

Velly well, I have four Masta' degrease. I know what I'm doing! I also have eight certification! Also I'm very experienced.

Well, that's your educational history and some certs, not really what I'm asking about. And FOUR masters degrees? If you did that, why WOULD you do that? Tell me that, and still, three strengths three weaknesses, and be specific.

Well see I have a velly great deal of experience from Masta' degrease, and my cert...

Sorry, let me interrupt you for a second. Let's put the degrees and certs aside for a second, because to be honest, that doesn't impress me, and I think it's a bit odd, but I'll get to that in a moment. What three things make you a strong candidate, and what three things do you need to develop?

Well, my education is velly strong and so are my certifications and I know...

I'm sorry. Really, I am. Tell me what about you- attributes, characteristics, make you shine, and which ones need work. Are you a hard worker? Are you dedicated? Are you focused? On the downside, do you lack focus? Are you disorganized? Honestly, tell me about YOU in the workplace.

Well, when I was getting my certification for...yada yada yada yada... more or less... yada yada... more or less.

I tuned out at that point, let him talk for about 10 minutes while I checked my e-mail (I know, that's rude; that's the point), and punted him back to HR for a "thanks but no thanks, enjoy the hotel and go ahead and fly on out of here tomorrow morning".

I was mad that I had to walk him all the way back to HR, which, literally, was a ten minute walk. And I was so dizzy because he kept wagging his head back and forth, left to right, when he wanted to signal an "affirmative" response. What an awkward, silent walk. I didn't say a word. I didn't even look at the guy.

Best,

Hill

i try to be an hour earlier for all the interviews i have attended.

in most instances the interviewers are the ones who come late.

Being Punctual is a virtue that is highly appreciated at the work place so all the job seekers should learn the habit.

For the job seekers who may be reading this, lateness is a problem but what you also do if you know you will be late is key.

I was once late for an interview. I was caught up in a jam on a rainy Nairobi morning and an overturned truck on Waiyaki Way..

I called (30 mins to the interview time)and explained my situation, i asked to push it forward but they said they would interview me when i got there. I got there one and a half hours later. I apologized (to the five who were interviewing me) and i was later offered the job.

Later they would enjoy me endlessly about my 'thousand apologies'.

Spot on! If you call to excuse yourself when you cant make it on time, i will give you a chance without any problem.

Problem with Mukiha's interviewees is that they did not even have the audacity to call and excuse themselves.... They waited for the interviewer to call and find out what happened.... Unfortunately, being as impatient as i am (yeah, there you have a weakness from me JH), they wouldnt stand a chance....