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WICOE - Evening Classes for Men (This is a must have)
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StatMeister
#11 Posted : Friday, September 02, 2011 1:25:29 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 5/23/2010
Posts: 868
Location: La Islas Galápagos
Njung'e wrote:
StatMeister wrote:

* LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS - Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum


This one i would love......Hoping that at last,i would nab the idiot who moves my socks and sleepers when i am asleep.smile


Somehow, I seem to be left only with discordant pairs of socks after every washing.

A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work
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Intelligentsia
#12 Posted : Friday, September 02, 2011 1:32:06 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/1/2009
Posts: 2,436
The MEN respondsmile

TWO YEAR DEGREE
A new two-year degree is being offered at the University that many of you should be interested in: Becoming a Real woman. That's right, in just six mini-semesters, you, too, can be a real woman as well as earn a MA degree

Please take a moment to look over the program outline.

FIRST YEAR

Autumn Schedule:

MEN 102: You, Too, Can Do Housework
WMEN 102 You,too,Can Change the Tyre

MEN 103: PMS-Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
WMEN 103 - How to Stop Nagging

MEN 104: We Do Not Want Sleazy Under things for Christmas
WMEN104: We Do Not Want Ties and Colognes For Christmas

Winter Schedule:

MEN 110: Wonderful Laundry Techniques
WMEN 110: Wonderful Ways To Operate The Heater

MEN 111: Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4am
WMEN 111: Understanding the Male Response to Singing Hymns and Banging Crockery at 7am

MEN 112: Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception
WMEN 112: Parenting; It Doesn't end With Giving Birth

EAT 100: Get a Life, Learn to Cook
CAR 100: Get a Life, Learn How to Change the Light Bulb

EAT 101: Get a Life, Learn to Cook II
CAR 101: Get a Life, Learn not to Leave the Car in Neutral and the Hand Brake Down

ECON 001A: What's Hers is Hers
ECON 001A: Keep Yours and Pay the Bills

Spring Schedule:

MEN 120: How NOT to Act Like a Butt face When You're Wrong
WMEN120: How NOT to Fake Tears When You Are Wrong

MEN 122: YOU, the Weaker Sex
WMEN122: YOU, the Stronger Sex Move the Fridge Into the Kitchen

MEN 123: Reasons to Give Flowers
WMEN 123: Reasons to Understand Sports

ECON 001C: What Was Yours is Hers
ECON 001C: What Was Yours is Yours Don't Demand His

SECOND YEAR
Autumn Schedule:
SEX 101: You CAN Fall Asleep without It
SEX 102: If He Sleeps Without It He is Getting It Elsewhere

SEX 103: Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a Shower
SEX 103: Morning Dilemna;If It's Awake Remove that Stocking on Your Head

SEX 104: How to Stay Awake After Sex
SEX 104: How To Stop Talking After Sex

MEN 201: How to Put the Toilet Seat Down
WMEN 201: How to Knot a Tie

(Elective) (See Electives Below)
Winter Schedule:

MEN 210: The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
WMEN 210: The Remote Control; Overcoming Your Unnecessary Emotions

MEN 211: How to Not Act Younger than Your Children
WMEN211: How to Not Act Older Than his Mother

MEN 212: You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
WMEN 212: You,Too,Can Mow the Lawn

MEN 213: Honest, You Don't Look Like Tom Cruise
WMEN 213: Honest,You Don't Look Like Jennifer Lopez

MEN 230A: Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important
WMEN 230: His Time With the Boys Are Important

Spring Schedule:
MEN 220: Omitting %&*! from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)
WMEN 220: Omiiting "You Don't Understand Me" From Your Language

MEN 221: Fluffing the Blanket After Farting Is Not Necessary
WMEN 221: Asking Me To Buy your Tampons Is Not Necessary

MEN 222: Real Men Ask for Directions
WMEN 222: Real Women Say What They Want., They Don't wait For their Needs to Be
Anticipated

MEN 223: Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay
WMEN 223: Ten Minutes Just Lying Backwards is Not Great Sex

Course Electives:

EAT 102: Utilization of Eating Utensils
EAT 102: How to Treat the Dining Table as a Home and NOT a Restaurant

EAT 103: Burping and Belching Discreetly
EAT 103: How to Let Him Just Eat

MEN 231: Mothers-in-law
WMEN 231: Your Friends

MEN 232: Appear to Be Listening
WMEN 232: Appear to Be Caring

MEN 233: Just Say "Yes, Dear"
WMEN 233: Just Say "Yeap"

ECON 001C: Cheaper to Keep Her
ECON 001C: Easier To Keep Him
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StatMeister
#13 Posted : Friday, September 02, 2011 2:04:32 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 5/23/2010
Posts: 868
Location: La Islas Galápagos
Barclays Bank have a new drive-through ATM.

Below are the procedures for MALE drivers to follow:

1.Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Wind down your car(BMW X5, PREMIO X, S500, RANGE ROVER SPORT etc) window.
3. Insert card into and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Wind up window.
7. Drive off.

Our dear sisters on the other hand . . .
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse back the required amount to align car (VITZ, PLATZ, DEMIO etc)window with cash machine.
3. Re-start the stalled engine.
4. Wind down the window.
5. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
6. Turn the radio down.
7. Attempt to insert card into machine.
8. Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
9. Insert card.
10. After "Invalid Card" is displayed - Remove Nakumatt Smart Card and insert correct Barclays Card
11. Remove Card
12. Re-insert Card the right way up.
13. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
14. Enter PIN.
15. Press "Cancel" and re-enter correct PIN.
16. Enter amount of cash required.
17. Check make-up in rear view mirror.
18. Retrieve cash and receipt.
19. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
20. Place receipt in back of check book.
21. Re-check make-up.
22. Drive forward 2 meters.
23. Reverse back to cash machine.
24. Retrieve card.
25. Re-empty handbag, locate cardholder, and place card into the slot provided.
26. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
27. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
28. Release handbrake.
A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work
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Ms Mkenya
#14 Posted : Friday, September 02, 2011 4:10:34 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 5/13/2010
Posts: 869
Location: Nairobi
StatMeister wrote:

* LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS - Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum


I gave up on this..

StatMeister wrote:
Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.


You forgot, first locate the car keys in the bag, then open the car..... I don't know why they disappear all the time!
....above all, to stand.
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mukiha
#15 Posted : Friday, September 02, 2011 4:24:20 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/27/2008
Posts: 4,114
How they drive off a car that is parked flash with the kerb:

MEN
1. Remove keys from pocket
2. Approach the car
3. Unlock the door
4. Open the door wide
5. Enter the car quickly
6. Shut the door
7. Start the engine
8. Check the mirror
9. Drive off.

WOMEN
1. Approach the car
2. Remove keys from handbag
3. Unlock the door
4. Open the door wide
5. Enter the car quickly
6. Adjust the mirror to check the hair
7. Notice smudge on lipstick
8. Open handbag
9. Pick hankie
10. Wipe the lips
11. Search for lipstick in handbag
12. Apply new lipstick
13. Re-adjust mirror for good view of rear
14. Arrange stuff back into handbag
15. Start the car
16. Shut the door
17. Drive off
18. Check the mirror
Nothing is real unless it can be named; nothing has value unless it can be sold; money is worthless unless you spend it.
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Dod
#16 Posted : Friday, September 02, 2011 6:06:01 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 10/4/2010
Posts: 223
Location: Afghanistan
bwenyenye wrote:
StatMeister wrote:
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS - Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum



Now seriously, what were you expecting?


I can find anything as long as you return everything to where it was before you popped in.

Applause Applause Applause
The rich have money working for them; the poor and the middle class are going to work for money.
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aemathenge
#17 Posted : Sunday, September 04, 2011 7:01:26 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/18/2008
Posts: 3,434
Location: Kerugoya
I am single and unattached. Do I really have to attend this class?
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For Sport
#18 Posted : Sunday, September 04, 2011 8:29:42 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 12/23/2010
Posts: 1,229
aemathenge wrote:
I am single and unattached. Do I really have to attend this class?

If you dont, you will remain single and unattached
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StatMeister
#19 Posted : Monday, September 05, 2011 9:09:05 AM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 5/23/2010
Posts: 868
Location: La Islas Galápagos
aemathenge wrote:
I am single and unattached. Do I really have to attend this class?


You attended school before you started working, same case may apply here.

But you get extra marks if you are attached as she believes you are taking the initiative to change smile smile
A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work
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