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Just for laughs...corner
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johnnjuguna
#791 Posted : Wednesday, August 17, 2011 9:27:42 AM
Rank: New-farer

Joined: 8/12/2011
Posts: 97
Pastor in a church service: The first person to give $1000 for a good cause will get the chance to choose 3 hymns today.

(Old Lady raises her hand first and gives the $1000)

Pastor: Now you can choose your three hymns.

Old Lady points at three different sections of the congregation and says: I want him, him and him.
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Magigi
#792 Posted : Wednesday, August 17, 2011 5:05:34 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/31/2008
Posts: 7,081
Location: Kenya
...Ujinga ni ( From the net)

Kupigiwa simu halafu unaangalia balance yako after the call.

Kutafuta remote ya TV 4 for 10 min, na tv iko a step away

KuDELETE namba ya X wako na unaijua off head

Kubuy beer ingine moja ukitegea fare ishuke hadi mbao!

Kukaa mbele kwa mathree halafu unaturn kwambia konda 'shukisha' na umekaa na deree.

Kutumia cursor kuscare mosquito itoke kwa screen ya comp.

Kureduce volume ya radio usome sms..

Kuruka line VCT.
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nostoppingthis
#793 Posted : Wednesday, August 17, 2011 11:23:24 PM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 8/24/2009
Posts: 5,909
Location: Nairobi
jasonhill wrote:
Absolutely HILLarious!

Now let me give you my version, which, I must admit, isn't so funny:

A Kikuyu man and a Muhindi man are sitting next to each other on a long flight from London to Nairobi.

The Muhindi man leans over to the Kikuyu and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Kikuyu just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The Muhindi man persists and explains that the game is real easy and is a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, you pay me $5."

Again, the Kikuyu politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Muhindi man, now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, you pay me $100!"

Without a word, Mike reaches into his wallet, hands the Muhindi $100, and turns away to continue with his sleep!

CONsulting... a Beautiful name for a CON.


really, you had to edit and put 'kikuyu'. it was quite different when I first read it and had no tribe
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sparkly
#794 Posted : Thursday, August 18, 2011 6:58:01 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 9/23/2009
Posts: 8,083
Location: Enk are Nyirobi
Magigi wrote:
...Ujinga ni ( From the net)

.

eh hee be specific its from "fans of crazy monday"
Life is short. Live passionately.
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sparkly
#795 Posted : Thursday, August 18, 2011 7:00:52 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 9/23/2009
Posts: 8,083
Location: Enk are Nyirobi
StatMeister wrote:
mwakamoja wrote:
Don't Lie To this Robot

One day Ben's dad brought came home a robot.
The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the face.

Ben returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, 'Son why are you late from school?' Ben answered, 'Dad, we had extra classes today'. Much to his astonishment the robot jumped up and slapped Ben on his face.

His dad told him, 'Son this robot detects a lie and slaps the liar. Now come on tell me the truth. Why are you late?'

'Dad, I went to a movie' 'Which movie?'
'The Ten Commandments' Immediately, Ben got a slap on the face from the robot. 'Sorry Dad, I went to see the movie Sex Queen'.

'Shame on you son, when I was your age I never watched obscene movies or misbehaved'

Immediately, the dad got a tight slap on the face from the robot.

On hearing the last statement, Ben's mother sarcastically said to her husband, 'After all he is YOUR son!!!'

To which the robot steps up and gives Ben's mother a very big slap on her face!


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly


waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha
Life is short. Live passionately.
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marex
#796 Posted : Thursday, August 18, 2011 11:18:27 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 10/4/2007
Posts: 656
Sasa?Naona unafikiria kuoga tena.Ushawahi fanya hesabu ya hiyo process?Hebu fikiria:Kumaliza sabuni,kuongeza bill ya maji,kujiona uchi,kuchafua towel,kuzeesha nguo za ndani,na bado uko katika mtandao mkubwa wa kuambukizwa homa.Fikiria.Achana na mpango wa kuoga ovyo ovyo.Epuka homa!
The way I am
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vinii
#797 Posted : Friday, August 19, 2011 8:15:11 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/14/2009
Posts: 2,057
a luo is standing by the road with his girlfriend when a vitz passes by....he then says 'darling, i will buy you that toy with my bonga points'.......hehehe
If you are an eagle don't hang around with chickens; chickens don't fly....
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StatMeister
#798 Posted : Friday, August 19, 2011 9:03:57 AM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 5/23/2010
Posts: 868
Location: La Islas Galápagos
C&P

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred- ten.

We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred- ten?'

She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one..'

She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.

She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.

He then took her over to a car just like hers which had its hood up and asked 'is there a 710 on this car?'.

She pointed and said, 'Of course, its right there.' ...... the mechanic fainted.

If you're not sure what a 710 is


Scroll down . . .




OIL
A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work
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marex
#799 Posted : Friday, August 19, 2011 11:08:05 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 10/4/2007
Posts: 656
Dad: I want u 2 marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No
Dad: The girl is Bill Gates' daughter.
Son: Then OK
Dad goes 2 Bill Gates
...Dad: I want Ur daughter 2 marry my son.
Bill Gates: No
Dad: My son is d CEO of the World Bank.
Bill Gates: Then OK
Dad goes 2 the President of the World Bank..
Dad: Appoint my son as the CEO of Ur bank.
President:No!
Dad: He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President:Then OK!
This is BUSINESS....
The way I am
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Wendz
#800 Posted : Friday, August 19, 2011 12:37:46 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
UJINGA NI:
1. Kujiita romantic na uko single.
2. Kukaa mbele kwa mathree alafu unaturn kwambia konda 'shukisha' na umekaa na deree.
3. Kutumia cursor kuscare mosquito itoke kwa screen ya comp.
4. Kureduce volume ya radio usome sms.
5. Kuruka line VCT.
6. Kuscratch bamba 5 na coin ya 20bob.
7. Kupigiwa simu halafu unaangalia balance yako after the call.
8. Kutafuta remote ya TV 4 10 min, na tv iko a step away
9. KuDELETE namba ya X wako na unaijua off head
10. Kubargain kitu kutoka soo hadi fifty alafu bado unapea muuzaji 1000 akupatie change
11. Kubuy beer ingine moja ukitegea fare ishuke hadi mbao!
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294 Pages«<7879808182>»
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