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Just for laughs...corner
bwenyenye
#721 Posted : Friday, June 24, 2011 12:10:02 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 5/24/2007
Posts: 1,805
KCSE 2011
Kamilisha methail hii: Akili ni nywele…
a) Ujinga ni weave
b) Wazimu ni mohawk
c) Kipara ni ngoto
d) Matuta ni msoto

What did the burning bush say to Moses? – Just gonna stand there and watch me burn..?

Name two joints. – Changes and Psys.

Kamilisha methatli: Mtaka cha mvunguni….sharti a-bendover.

Which country is next to USA ? – USB

Tunga sentensi ukitumia “jumapili”.... ninakunywa tusker juu mapili zimeisha.

Tunga sentensi kutumia “changamka”. – Changa mkabuy guage, niko kwa jam, nakam.

Who was the 1st Luo in the bible? - Nick Odemus.

What does Yash Pal Ghai's daughter call her father? - Ghai Fafa!

Add a question tag_______'Ruto went to hague' - haguen't he?

What do you call a KPLC van behind a G4S van? - Mulika Mwizi!

What did Moses say when he saw the burning bush? HELLO-MOTO!

Name two types of Chicken, Answer: Kenchick and Akuku Danger

What is the most important day of the week?
a) Terrific Tuesday
b) Wacky Wednesday
c) Uptown Thursday
d) Sexy Saturday

A GS4 van left at 7 o’colock this morning…find the money.

Q: Find the L.C.M of 21. The student cancelled L.C.M and wrote: Our L.C.D is Sony 52 inches

Which street is all Kenyan all the time? - Koinange Street.

What is the opposite of Wetangula – Dryangula.

Name one place in Kenya where you will find coffee and sugarcane growing. - Kahawa Sukari.

Kamilisha methali ifuatayo .... "Usipoziba woofer , utachoma pia amplifier "

Kinyume ya giza ni? – kangeta (answer by Meru student)

Which one of these is not a soap?
a) Esmeralda
b) Days of Our Lives
c) Geisha
d) La Mujer

Give an appropriate answer to the following Question: "Otherwise?"

If Moses was a Rastafarian and saw the burning bush,what could he have said?
a) Mo faya
b) Better dan dem
c).Wa’gwan
d) Blo! Blo! Blo!

Q: Use defence, defeat and detail to make a sentense. Answer: De cow jumped defence, defeat landed before detail.

Ninajivunia kuwa Mke...
A) be
B) ka
C) nya
D) nge

Tunga Sentensi Ukitumia “Jumatatu”. - Nilitembea kwenda tao Ju Matatu Za kwetu Ziligoma!

Which is heavier?
A.180kgs of Big Ted
B.180kgs of Big Kev
C.180kgs of Madtraxx
D.180kgs of Shaffie Weru

Andika sentensi hii kwa wingi: Mwalimu aliniita. - Ans: Waalimu walitwitter.

Who's the first person to reach the peaks of Mt. Kenya :
(a Makmende
(b Safaricom choir

Differentiate between Bifwoli wakoli and Atwoli. (20 marks).

What does G4S stand for?
a) Gone 4 Sure
b) Goons 4 Stealing
c) Gone in 4 Seconds
d) All the above

What is Semenya
a) a man
b) a woman
c) a thwak
d) all the above

What do you get when u cross a white lady & a Kenyan man with a sore throat? - Robert Nagila.

What do we call a Kenyan Indian High flier? - Muhindi Mbingu.

What is the future tense of I stole maize? - I'll go to The Hague and I'll be a backbencher.

What is Chris Brown's greatest Hit? - Rihanna.

Translate in Kiswahili: Private School = Shule nyeti.

Select a national school you would like to go to after passing your exams.
A.Starehe boy
B.Alliance high
C.Mang'u high
D.Tahidi High

What do you call a window cleaner in Nyanza? -Transparent wall technicia

Jack Bauer is to America as ___________ is to Kenya
A. Raila
B. Makmende
C. Chuck Noris
D. Onyancha

Q: UMOJA: ALIKUJA NA WHEELBARROW AKATENGEZA UKATA. UWINGI? - marikuja ni hurubarrow makasondeka ukuta.
I Think Therefore I Am
McReggae
#722 Posted : Friday, June 24, 2011 12:27:28 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/17/2008
Posts: 23,365
Location: Nairobi
Nyce one @bwenyenye!!!!
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
sorovi
#723 Posted : Friday, June 24, 2011 4:20:01 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 8/3/2007
Posts: 146
pretty hilarious.. hehehe
McReggae
#724 Posted : Friday, June 24, 2011 4:41:40 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/17/2008
Posts: 23,365
Location: Nairobi
Height of poverty: Wife stitching husband’s condom. Height of innocence: A girl applying Clearasil 2 her nipples.thinking they r pimples. Height of ambition: An ant climbing on the leg of an elephant with motive of rape. Height of unemployment: A spider web found in a prostitute’s pussy. Height of laziness: Naked men sleeping on top of a naked woman expecting an earthquake 2 do the rest. Height of patience: A guy standing in a queue 2 f*** his own wife……
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
nostoppingthis
#725 Posted : Tuesday, June 28, 2011 9:49:07 AM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 8/24/2009
Posts: 5,909
Location: Nairobi
C&P
Hello. Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

If you are anxious, just start pressing numbers at random.

If you are phobic, don't press anything.

If you are anal retentive, please hold. ....
wakagori
#726 Posted : Tuesday, June 28, 2011 3:19:46 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 7/12/2010
Posts: 201
Tunga sentensi ukitumia 'Gaetano' :
Nilipomuuliza amekunywa pilsner ngapi alinijibu, 'you guy, tano!!
dunkang
#727 Posted : Tuesday, June 28, 2011 5:02:18 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/2/2011
Posts: 4,824
Location: -1.2107, 36.8831
The good news for Usama bin Laden is that he gets 72 Virgins in the afterlife....The bad news is, well, they are all Men!!!!!!!
Receive with simplicity everything that happens to you.” ― Rashi

nostoppingthis
#728 Posted : Wednesday, June 29, 2011 2:40:15 PM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 8/24/2009
Posts: 5,909
Location: Nairobi
Teacher:If there were 5 birds on a fence & you shot 1,how many
would be left?
Johny: none, because others will fly.
Teacher:answer is 4.
But i like the way you think.
Johny:I...have a question mam. if 3 women are eating ice cream,1 licking,1 biting & 1 sucking. How can you
tell which 1 is married?
Teacher: the 1 who sucks the cone?
Johny:no! The one who is wearing a wedding ring.But i like the way you think....
marex
#729 Posted : Thursday, June 30, 2011 5:30:07 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 10/4/2007
Posts: 656
Jamaa kila apigiwapo simu na mpango wa kando akiwa nyumbani, mkewe huichukuwa na kuiweka kwa charge. Kisa na maana Jamaa alimsave girlfriend kama 'Low Battery'.ndio mke asijue!
The way I am
marex
#730 Posted : Thursday, June 30, 2011 5:35:41 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 10/4/2007
Posts: 656
Tafakari La Babu: Babu yangu kaniita jioni moja na kunihadithia kisa cha mchwa
mchwa kaingia kwa uchi wa mwanamke akidhani ni pango.. alipotoka wenzake wakamuuliza alikokuwa tangu jana?.. akasema" jana karibu nimalizwe, nimeingia pangoni..gafla nyokanaye akaingia akitaka kuniuma .. akatia kichwa akitoa mara kadhaa lakini hakunipata. mwishowe akachoka akanitemea mate na kuondoka !
The way I am
294 Pages«<7172737475>»
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