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MEN, Would you pay Sh1 million for a wife? WOMEN, Would accept to be bought?
smith01
#11 Posted : Thursday, June 23, 2011 8:59:29 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 8/5/2010
Posts: 161
jasonhill wrote:
1 million KES for bride price now-a-days isn't bad. Trust me, I can tell you this from personal experience. That's what, 13 grand USD? A good international vacation costs that much, or a used car. Or even a good Madaraka day bash. Come on, if your wife's hand in marriage isn't worth that to you, you aren't serious.

It's more of a tribute and an investment now-a-days than an outright purchase, because, let's face it; God forbid that if things don't work out, I doubt I'd get bride price money back. And, I doubt that wifey would go back to her parents house. And, I'd be looking at parting with a lot more than 1 mitaa after a divorce settlement.

The negotiations and then the payment, at least to me, are more to show that you are a serious, capable suitor for someone's daughter. It's an investment into your new extended family. It's fun. You're new in-laws come up with a number, you come up with a payment schedule, and it gives you some credibility. It's not a "transaction". Though it is fun to bring up when in an argument with the wife. And, it makes you really think and take your time when making the decision to marry.

Besides, I don't want to be "that guy" that never offered to pay it. I'll always have a place/city/country/culture to call home, and that's worth far more than 13 grand. And, you also have to consider the "connected-ness" of the family you are marrying into. The investment can pay for itself many, many times over.

Best,

Hill


@jasonhill,

Have you done this already or are you looking into doing it?
smile
Surealligator
#12 Posted : Thursday, June 23, 2011 9:11:36 AM
Rank: User

Joined: 6/27/2008
Posts: 709
Location: Velayat-e Faryab
(Part 2)

Given an option, I would rather make a contract with a woman so that when she is 35, we part ways. I then get to marry another one and she also gets to get married by someone else for a change. Dowry hinders this plan as its permanent.

Dowry is never paid once in full. Anyone doing so does not know what dowry is all about.

Dowry builds a relationship between the two in-laws. So, it is settled over a long period of time. Few ppl ever cut the shoulder that marks end of dowry payment. The wife then becomes a full clan member (the ears and horns)

Money or gifts received for dowry are not eaten or consumed by the parents. There is an elaborate system for distributing the same.

Dowry is not for paying the cost of bringing up a girl, neither is it the price of acquiring a permanent airport or landing rights. Remember, the airport gets jetlag and would thus not cost more than 60k for ten years after which it has to be discarded or ignored. You get the ambiguity of allowing the girl to call the shots on matters dowry? Otherwise, she can end up extremely offended by logical arguments on the value of her body.
Go overdrive in purchasing the goods when there's blood on the streets, expecially if the blood is your own
Surealligator
#13 Posted : Thursday, June 23, 2011 9:32:16 AM
Rank: User

Joined: 6/27/2008
Posts: 709
Location: Velayat-e Faryab
(Part 3)

Dowry is more concerned with the fertility of the woman, not her education. If after dowry has been paid and you do not want children because you are more western than the westerners, that marriage is invalid, dowry or no dowry.

If this Nation Newspaper woman wants the husband to pay 1 million because of her education level, she should also pay 3 million if the guy is a Dr. or Prof plus the assets he would have accumulated before the lady becomes the wife.

All in all, let as not just borrow western culture and refer to African culture when money is to be made. If you agree to address a specific cultural ritual, follow it to the letter and keep to its spirit or do it the western way fully.

Some nasty thoughts emanating from this discussion. If I pay the 1 million shillings for the lady, she better be prepared to act like a robot once we are married. She better be ready to pee coffee when I want it, do anything I desire her to do and be able to show value addition in the house the moment she lands past the gate. She should behave like a newly acquired Subaru Impreza WRX Sti with maximum output.



She should be a virgin and well behaved beyond reproach.

She should be depositing her salary cheque in an account we control both so that....

By the way, I thought love transcends monetary consideration. Right, marriage is about securing a safe institution for the children to grow in. That is the least we can do for the society which gave us a language, a culture, knowledge and spirituality.

This lady, at 25, is well educated but not learned. And that is the sad reality about our upcoming young and talented African youth.

Anyway, go on, search for the I million mister right, - stupid.

This time, no pun intended.
Go overdrive in purchasing the goods when there's blood on the streets, expecially if the blood is your own
Lolest!
#14 Posted : Thursday, June 23, 2011 9:59:16 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/18/2011
Posts: 12,069
Location: Kianjokoma
I dare say dowry is an outdated, primitive custom. It has no place in modern society. In the olden days I would get a woman, pay dowry, she would come to my home and be part of my clan. She would stop tilling her clans land and start tilling my clans land. Her children would become my clans children. Then, it made sense. But today, I marry a gal-not woman, then we live far away from both our clans in a ka-quarter acre plot. We visit parents for both sides occassionally(probably visit her side more)...in todays context its simply retrogressive! She is educated?good! So am I! What will my parents get? This thing is rubbish and is one of the contributors of wife battering
Laughing out loudly smile Applause d'oh! Sad Drool Liar Shame on you Pray
Burning Spear
#15 Posted : Thursday, June 23, 2011 10:00:47 AM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 7/22/2008
Posts: 1,139
Never ever !!!

those parents who see their daughters and son-inlaws as bank accounts should feel ashamed and be made to keep their daughters.

I do not think nowadays women are worth that much.You pay on day one and day 7 ananza maringo.bure kabisa !!
"You're not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who says it". Malcolm X
masukuma
#16 Posted : Thursday, June 23, 2011 10:11:34 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/4/2006
Posts: 13,823
Location: Nairobi
1.2m is nothing, sometimes you get a figure that looks like a telephone number 2547..... unacheza. doing it by the book is not cheap!! but most of the time you don't have to pay it all at once - its staggered. yangu has like 700k to go!
All Mushrooms are edible! Some Mushroom are only edible ONCE!
wanyuru
#17 Posted : Thursday, June 23, 2011 10:14:35 AM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 11/29/2007
Posts: 948
...a Million bob?? labda for Leonasmile
Robinhood
#18 Posted : Thursday, June 23, 2011 10:20:28 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 12/11/2008
Posts: 2,306
Burning Spear wrote:
Never ever !!!

those parents who see their daughters and son-inlaws as bank accounts should feel ashamed and be made to keep their daughters.

I do not think nowadays women are worth that much.You pay on day one and day 7 ananza maringo.bure kabisa !!


@mkuki, this is a case of the daughter seeing the mirrions, not the parents
Great men are not always wise, neither do the aged understand judgement...
bwenyenye
#19 Posted : Thursday, June 23, 2011 10:28:45 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 5/24/2007
Posts: 1,805
Lolest! wrote:
I dare say dowry is an outdated, primitive custom. It has no place in modern society. In the olden days I would get a woman, pay dowry, she would come to my home and be part of my clan. She would stop tilling her clans land and start tilling my clans land. Her children would become my clans children. Then, it made sense. But today, I marry a gal-not woman, then we live far away from both our clans in a ka-quarter acre plot. We visit parents for both sides occassionally(probably visit her side more)...in todays context its simply retrogressive! She is educated?good! So am I! What will my parents get? This thing is rubbish and is one of the contributors of wife battering


I do not get your point. Nothing has changed much. If I marry a woman, i pay dowry for her. She comes into my family and whatever she brings in from employment or business now belongs to my family. The fact that I am not my brother's neighbour does not change a thing. She now works to till my lands. The problem now is that most men have no land to be tilled and so the women are idle running about giving such stories to the media.
I Think Therefore I Am
mlefu
#20 Posted : Thursday, June 23, 2011 10:42:34 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 2/11/2007
Posts: 1,680
Location: nairobi
Wanyuru tunapeleka lini? i wil add kitu kidogo if you promise to introduce your sister inlaw.

the lady looks like she is worth .......
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