I saw a stupid article on the online version of daily nation;
http://www.nation.co.ke/...-/111h26az/-/index.html

and fails to understand, is this NORMAL? If so, am i abnormal?

Kijana akitaka bibi lazima achote..Nothing is for free nowadays, after all si you get exclusive rights to Migingo:d/

1 million KES for bride price now-a-days isn't bad. Trust me, I can tell you this from personal experience. That's what, 13 grand USD? A good international vacation costs that much, or a used car. Or even a good Madaraka day bash. Come on, if your wife's hand in marriage isn't worth that to you, you aren't serious.

It's more of a tribute and an investment now-a-days than an outright purchase, because, let's face it; God forbid that if things don't work out, I doubt I'd get bride price money back. And, I doubt that wifey would go back to her parents house. And, I'd be looking at parting with a lot more than 1 mitaa after a divorce settlement.

The negotiations and then the payment, at least to me, are more to show that you are a serious, capable suitor for someone's daughter. It's an investment into your new extended family. It's fun. You're new in-laws come up with a number, you come up with a payment schedule, and it gives you some credibility. It's not a "transaction". Though it is fun to bring up when in an argument with the wife. And, it makes you really think and take your time when making the decision to marry.

Besides, I don't want to be "that guy" that never offered to pay it. I'll always have a place/city/country/culture to call home, and that's worth far more than 13 grand. And, you also have to consider the "connected-ness" of the family you are marrying into. The investment can pay for itself many, many times over.

Best,

Hill

I really like this girls argument. But I wonder if it has anything to do with age. I tend to think that by 25 chicks still think the knight in shinning armor will drop by and sweep her of the feet and that he will be TDH and R (Tall, dark, handsome and Rich). Call it the naivety of youth. But the time they are pushing thirty, the planes negotiating a landing site are either TDH but financially struggling or are old geezers who are filthy rich. To hitch up, some standards will have to be lowered.

That said, I wonder who should be pushing for dowry, the girl or the parents. I also wonder if this millionaire attitude is only prevalent in certain parts of the country. I don't mean it in any bad way so let no one shoot me.

@Dunkang

(Part 1)

Let us be serious about this issue.

Dowry or brideprice is not purchasing the woman or saying thank you to the parents.

Dowry price is given for the legitimacy of the children. Children born without brideprice belong to the woman's clan and she can go with them in case of separation with the cohabitor or divorce if you had gone the civil marriage way.

A man who has paid dowry gets legitimate right to the children on behalf of his clan. Nobody can take that right unless the dowry ceremony is nullified traditionally.

Without dowry, naming your children after the living dead becomes dangerous as the spirits whose name you misuse can hit back (I have a Phd, so don't say am not conversant with science). Usually, after dowry is paid, you consummate the same and children born are named after certain relatives. The relatives, through nominal reincarnation, return to the land of the living to ensure continuity of the lineage. The living dead then protects you and your family against evil spirits, evil eye, calamities, mishaps etc The ancestors ensure there is fertility, wealth, blessings etc

If your parents never paid dowry, you cannot ask for dowry, even a shilling. Neither can your descendants.

Dowry protects the woman more than the man. I cannot treat a dowry woman the way I would treat a cohabitation one. Dowry means clans were united. I cannot kick her out as doing so will bring the clans up in arms.