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Mpesa Now Now!!! By 'Pastor' Nduati!
MaichBlack
#1 Posted : Sunday, June 12, 2011 8:16:11 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 7/22/2009
Posts: 7,911
Mpesa Now Now!!!
Instant miracle waiting!

I was flipping channels and landed on KBC and saw this message on the screen. wtf??? Pastor Nduati has gone TOO far!!!

Then he starts reading smses. The first one is from "Njambi". The husband was apparently fired because of alcoholism. "Njambi" sent him an sms na "akasimama na kanisa hii na 1,200/= na sasa mume wake ameitwa interview!".

Then it gets better. The fellow says "Na kama nilivyo sema jumapili iliyopita kubarikiwa uta barikiwa lakini hauwezi barikiwa bure. Hakuna baraka za bure. Lazima utoe...".

Finally to the best part. "Ukiwa hapo nyumbani, kama uko na shida ya kukosa kazi, chukua simu yako utume sadaka ya kutafuta kazi...". The statement is repeated for "watu wa madeni", "watu wa spirit ya singlehood (he he he)" etc. And the fellow is waving a phone and saying "Nikipokea sadaka yako hapa, unapata instant miracle. Baraka hapo hapo.".

This fellow should be investigated - alongside pyramid schemes and Kamiti "you have won" commen. Absolutely Bure Kabisa!!!
Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good returns.
Sober
#2 Posted : Sunday, June 12, 2011 8:31:42 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 11/27/2007
Posts: 3,604
i pity people who go to those funny funny churches where the pastor is so money minded he can't preach the word of God but beg for money.
African parents don't know how to say sorry.. the closest you will get to a sorry is a 'have you eaten'
PATTIE
#3 Posted : Sunday, June 12, 2011 10:58:24 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 1/20/2009
Posts: 73
hey guys.
i saw the guy marketting his instant miracles and i got worried of where the gospel is heading to. they said the end times will be like this. heheheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh
simonkabz
#4 Posted : Sunday, June 12, 2011 11:47:31 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/2/2007
Posts: 8,776
Location: Cameroon
Nkt! Guy should be whipped in public. Ni aibu.
TULIA.........UFUNZWE!
QW25071985
#5 Posted : Sunday, June 12, 2011 11:53:05 AM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 3/25/2011
Posts: 946
Hahaaha. I cant believe this , Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly .
Lolest!
#6 Posted : Sunday, June 12, 2011 11:53:27 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/18/2011
Posts: 12,069
Location: Kianjokoma
There is an interesting story about prophet Elisha and his aide Gehazi in 2 Kings. Naaman, a Syrian General, is leprous and the prophet leads him to his healing. Naaman is more than greatful and offers material gifts to Elisha to express his gratitude. ELISHA REJECTS THEM and bids Naaman farewell. Gehazi follows Naaman a while later to claim those gifts. God strikes him with leprosy. Fact is, some of these people may have some of the gifts that they do claim to have. However, selling what God has given you freely is ungodly. Misrepresenting God as one who will bless only upon being bribed is blasphemy. God doesnt even look at how big your donation is. It is not What or how much you give that matters, it is how you give.
Laughing out loudly smile Applause d'oh! Sad Drool Liar Shame on you Pray
2 Miles
#7 Posted : Sunday, June 12, 2011 11:56:29 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 10/26/2010
Posts: 125
@ Maichblack....that is indeed very funny.

I understand this pastors display several no.(s) for MPESA just incase one of them gets to the limit.

They are not taking chances with your money.
Njung'e
#8 Posted : Sunday, June 12, 2011 12:00:22 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 2/7/2007
Posts: 11,935
Location: Nairobi
Thanks God i stopped watching this desperados long ago.
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
Theu
#9 Posted : Sunday, June 12, 2011 12:49:14 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 6/18/2008
Posts: 353
Reminds me of some years back when i went into Muiru's church at odeon, those midday services on weekdays. Come sadaka time and the pastor calls for those offering 1k and above to come first...500 to follow... then 100. Those with less keep it! Ati its not worth to give that to God!
MaichBlack
#10 Posted : Sunday, June 12, 2011 1:43:12 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 7/22/2009
Posts: 7,911
QW25071985 wrote:
Hahaaha. I cant believe this , Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly .

If you will be awake by 8:00am on Sunday, switch your TV to K.B.C at around 8:00am - and you will experience Mpesa Ministries of Kenya first hand!!! Of course if one of his lieutenants - or himself - is a wazuan, they might go easy on MPesa sermons next Sunday. Today's "preaching" was 100% MPesa. NOTHING else!!!

@2 Miles - Today he had six MPesa lines on the screen occupying approximately the lower quarter of the screen, with the words MPESA NOW, NOW!!! INSTANT MIRACLE WAITING! And to avoid any confusion, yes, the word now was repeated and yes, the exclamation marks were there - I have simply 'copy pasted'.

@Theu - I have heard the Muiru story. Ati you submit your "sadaka", name and problem as the preaching is going on. At prayer time, the ones who chucked beyond a certain threshold - say 3k - are mentioned by full name and specific problem. E.g. "Mungu saidia bwana @Impunity. Ana shida ya kuwamezea wasoma habari kwenye runinga mate. Hata wale wameolewa. Muondolee pepo hiyo mbaya...". The ones who chucked say between 1k and 3k are mentioned as a together - by one name, and the ones who chucked below (say) 1k are mentioned in general - na hao wengine wenye shida mbali mbali kama kukosa kazi... I asked a friend who used to attend those services how true that was and she totally didn't want to discuss that story. She told me that we should not challenge "watumishi wa mungu".
Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good returns.
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