Interesting debate.

I have been pondering about the question of monogamy in the biblical context.

Honestly can't see a verse that clearly outlaws it. But I find it interesting too that in the new testament, there is no mention of a single polygamous man(correct me if I am wrong!)

However as a man, I wonder how other men manage to have mipango ya kando or many wives. Being in a relationship with 1 woman is too much work for me! Unless you give them upendo kidogo kidogo.

How do you manage to shower both of them with love? Imagine the way most women expect a man to be that listening, caring partner. Where do you get time to listen to all their stories?

I bet there must be 1 woman losing out on the love! For my experience with womankind informs me that they need lots of time-even if its just when you're listening to her complain endlessly about her day at work.

@Lolest, I also wonder!

Back to the debate, I find men who opt to openly marry a second or third wife are vilified by the society! I am informed that in the days of our grandfathers, their wives encouraged them to take on other wives. This was used as a family planning mechanism.

But times have changed.

Religion aside:

Economic reasons: Multiple people working in a household are greater than the sum of parts- in a time where we already have less and less extended family under the same roof, working on one common household instead of many, smaller weaker ones, it's better and more efficient to have a team instead of a pair. Also, each individual house needs it's own land, gate, utilities, cars, etc. Imagine a six or eight unit building or maisonettes, all owned by the family with a pool, biodiesel machine, windmills, a computer lab, a few 4x4s, one luxury car, and large shamba. One watches kids while another goes to university while another runs the business while another manages the houses, etc. and then they can rotate attending university. All our women could be cared for and educated!

Social reasons: there would be far less single mothers and orphaned children if fathers were encourage and even required to wed, house, and keep the women that they have relations with. There would also be more kids in school (family school) and with jobs (family business). Divorce rate would also be lower, and issues, problems, and disagreements could be worked out by consensus in the family instead of in the courts or the street. The key here is very, very careful choosing and vetting of wives... current wives should have input on new ones in an organized vetting process.

Biological reasons: it would be easier to monitor and maintain the health of the family, because there wouldn't be much sneaking around and having outside "relations" and chips funga... the man would have no time, and would always have a wife watching him or by his side, on ALL weeks of the month. And I'm all for a man that sneaks out, when he has several wives, being found civilly and criminally liable for such activity- that's conflict of interest for his family and a health risk to his wives. He should have to do it the proper way- meetings, interviews, dates, etc. etc. marriage before sexual relations. No more excuses. Things will be as exciting and fresh as they need to be.

Also, wives would have "sisters and friends" in their sister-wives, that would more likely say things that are more beneficial to "the family", than things that will tear the family down. Sure, some wives will be competitive and maybe more self-centered than others, but one's success affects all, so, the advice and counsel given is more likely to be helpful than hurtful, like the advise of outsiders in competition for one's man might be. Also, a man would be less likely to abuse his wives if there were many to side with her in the same household.

I'm sure there are more, but I will give others a chance to speak and give input from their own experiences, since I know that there are those here that have grown up in such families, yet have not spoken.

Best,

Hill

I like this guy Jason hill. Facts bila emotions.

What about the ratio of men to women? Probably the idea of monogamy came up in a society where more men than ladies were born, and it was all twisted into the current system that considers it a sin.

According to the 2009 Kenya national census results, persons in the age bracket of 15-64 years comprise more men (10.5 million) than women (10.2 million). Yet, complaints about lack of partners to marry abound more among women than men. An interesting question is how many adult males versus females are living single out of choice or due to lack of spouses? For sure, we have a good number of male bachelors thanks to kumikumi, other illicit liquors, and other reasons. Or could it also be that our women are too choosy and tend to crowd around a few men that are deemed more desirable when it comes to matters of marriage and relationships?

weak men need to justify their actions - they know its wrong but think that if many people agree with them it will be nicer to hear.

@JasonHill very well put. At the ecological level, the ratio of men being lower than that of women at the time that procreation begins, (i.e probability of boy vs girl at birth, survival of baby girl vs boy into child bearing age....) it is evident that for all women to ensure the survival of their genes they must of necessity mate with the few available men. Thus nature itself is inclined towards polygamy.

Now the other argument is that all great men were polygamous from David in the Bible, Shaka Zulu,Mohammed,Mohamed Ali, Bill Clinton, Jomo Kenyatta, Samuel Kamau Wanjiru....Yet the Western legal systems adopted by many communities around bastardized it to the detriment of the general well being of the family unit.

@Djinn @Rahatupu important to differentiate between Nature and Intellect. I'd wager most animal herds are naturally polygamous, as natural as hunting prey, mating season, excretement...

Sure man can choose to live at this level, but he has a choice. Man is an animal but he is blessed with intellect and a conscience.

So I'm guessing strong men are those who do things with no justification?

Having proper reasons for your actions is the very definition of maturity.