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Just for laughs...corner
bkismat
#611 Posted : Tuesday, May 03, 2011 9:32:44 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/23/2009
Posts: 2,375
http://www.standardmedia...ter+drinking+chang%27aa

By Kenan Miruka

There was drama at a village in Nyamache District when a cow died after consuming a mixture used in the distilling of chang'aa.

Residents of Riamanono village were shocked to learn of the dairy cow’s death after consuming kangara, a mixture of molasses and flour from which chang’aa is distilled.

There was consternation among residents and drinkers at the home of a chang’aa brewer when news of the cow’s death spread.

Witnesses said the cow broke loose from a paddock where it was tethered and accessed the distillery behind the woman’s kitchen where the kangara was stored.

The cow drank the thick brown mixture from a plastic container. Locals say 400 litres of chang’aa could be distilled from the mixture.

The woman nearly collapsed upon stumbling on the cow lying dead in a pool of kangara after searching for it in vain in neighbouring maize fields.

It was not clear whether she was crying over the cow’s death or the loss of potential income from the kangara but she wailed loudly, attracting neighbours and people consuming the liquor in the compound.
Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
"Surely the world is coming to an end. I have never heard of a cow consuming chang’aa. It started with dogs consuming bananas and avocado and now this," exclaimed a drunken man.

When news of the cow’s death spread, villagers milled around the scene to witness the rare occurrence.

The owner, fearing the area chief would get wind of the development and expose her illegal business, asked those present for advice on what to do.

Quick thinking revellers suggested that they slaughter the cow and share the meat to avoid raising suspicion.

Armed with knives and machetes, the group cut up the carcass and divided up the free meat. Some, however, expressed fears that if the liquor had brought down a cow, it could also be detrimental to their health.

"The cow took too much kangara because of the sugar it contains. We will feast on the red meat and discard the entrails to be safe," quipped one of the men doling out the meat.

Meanwhile, the owner of the brewery mourned the loss of her only cow and villagers are yet to come to terms with the bizarre incident.
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt...
-Mark Twain
Lolest!
#612 Posted : Thursday, May 05, 2011 9:50:43 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/18/2011
Posts: 12,069
Location: Kianjokoma
A lunje visits his friend and is given a photo album. He then asks: hawa ni papako, sistako, pratako na matako?
Laughing out loudly smile Applause d'oh! Sad Drool Liar Shame on you Pray
bkismat
#613 Posted : Thursday, May 05, 2011 10:03:36 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/23/2009
Posts: 2,375
sex is like math: you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you dont multiply!
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt...
-Mark Twain
Lolest!
#614 Posted : Thursday, May 05, 2011 5:56:21 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/18/2011
Posts: 12,069
Location: Kianjokoma
President Moi visits France. He takes along with him his friend Mulu Mutisya for the official trip.

In Paris, the two Presidents agree to pair up a Kenyan with a Frenchman to enhance interaction and thus learning from each other.

On the first day while having dinner with the Frenchman, the Frenchman bows down and says 'bon apetit!' and then he takes his seat.

Bewildered, Mulu bows down and says 'Mulu Mutisya'

This continues for a number of times. Mulu goes to Moi and explains to him his experience with a weird Frenchman who is always introducing himself to him. Moi laughs and informs Mulu that bon apetit is Fench for 'enjoy your meal'.

At mealtime, Mulu quickly bows down and says 'bon apetit!'

The Frenchman bows and replies ''Mulu Mutisya":
Laughing out loudly smile Applause d'oh! Sad Drool Liar Shame on you Pray
nostoppingthis
#615 Posted : Friday, May 06, 2011 9:06:11 AM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 8/24/2009
Posts: 5,909
Location: Nairobi
Conversation between a kange and chic

Msupa:..Tao ngapi?
Kange:..Tao 80
Msupa:..Kwani tao kuna?
Kange:..Maraya kama wewe wanamkutano
Msupa:..Mamako ameshafika
carygoh
#616 Posted : Friday, May 06, 2011 12:22:01 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 5/4/2008
Posts: 1,703
nostoppingthis wrote:
Conversation between a kange and chic

Msupa:..Tao ngapi?
Kange:..Tao 80
Msupa:..Kwani tao kuna?
Kange:..Maraya kama wewe wanamkutano
Msupa:..Mamako ameshafika

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Think Positive Test Negative
Jus Blazin
#617 Posted : Tuesday, May 10, 2011 12:49:31 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/23/2008
Posts: 3,966
'Marijuana' is not a drug and is not bad. It is Kyuk for "they knew each other". Example of usage: "Maripokutana, marijuana, makafedana..."
Luck is when Preparation meets Opportunity. ~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca
wasee
#618 Posted : Tuesday, May 10, 2011 9:15:30 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 2/5/2010
Posts: 273
Location: NBI
Jus Blazin wrote:
'Marijuana' is not a drug and is not bad. It is Kyuk for "they knew each other". Example of usage: "Maripokutana, marijuana, makafedana..."


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sparkly
#619 Posted : Tuesday, May 10, 2011 8:03:33 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 9/23/2009
Posts: 8,083
Location: Enk are Nyirobi
bkismat wrote:
sex is like math: you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you dont multiply!

Lollest
Life is short. Live passionately.
Intelligentsia
#620 Posted : Wednesday, May 11, 2011 9:24:01 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/1/2009
Posts: 2,436
I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse
294 Pages«<6061626364>»
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