makobosto

We dance small as i sing my heart with this song to the lady. She gets moved and I tell her we rest in car small time. When in car, i start to borrow and she entered the box. We start to remove clothes and just when i bend the passenger seat and jump on her, i see police pointing touch on car. They say to me to come out but I refuse to open until i finish. After all kama mbaya mbaya , (if bad, its bad). Whether we had done or not, they will still say we were doing. Again, i am not robber and i know they cannot shoot. After i pour, we dress up and open car.

Police are very now angry they say i have matharau. I look at all of them and i see their trees are pushing trouser forward. They imagine what i had been eating and salivate. They tell me to beat the car fire to Parklands police. I tell them there is no need. I know the needful. I give them 1,000 bob, they say they cannot take less than 10k.

'Kama hauna elfu kumi, hiyo rudisha. sisi tunakaa malaya utupatie elfu?' I tell them i know the OCPD and i will call for help if they will not get the 1000.

'Na huyu jamaa ananyeta. ita breakdown tuvute hata gari'

I act cool. Drunkards are of God. I look at them and smile and then i pick phone and call my friend, Muriuki. I device a way that immediately without telling him to pretend, he will play a senior police.

'Hello bwana SSP' (when i say SSP he plays along. He knows something small is up. SSP for those who dont know is Senior superintendent of Police. Its a big man o.

'Mzuri Wanjohi. Iko shida?'

'niko na maafisa wako hapa. wamenipata na kashida kadogo, lakini hawataki kuniskia. Si ngetaka kukusumbua hii usiku yote lakini imebidi Si uongee nao' (I have your police. they catch me with small problem but they dont want to hear me. I dont want to disturb you so late but it bids. Talk to them)

I pass the phone to one officer. He first refuse to take phone and i tell him he talk no problem, just their colleague. I hear him say 'Yes sir! yes Afande' until i want to burst in laughter because that man they are talking to, is so short that no police can be so short. But he is Meru and talks in commanding voice and heavy Meru accent.

He then tell police to pass phone and i put speaker phone one. Then, on speakerphone, he say, 'wanjohi, patia hao my mboys mia mbili ya chai. si unajua kuna baridi. na ukuje hapa upperhill saa hii ununue pombe.' He then cut phone.

I tell the police i have no change and they beg me to give the 1k i was giving before but i refuse. I go to club and get change and give them Ksh. 200. Later, the police tell me 'ungetwambie wewe ni mtu wa mkubwa ' (you should have told us you are a person of boss)

b

After a long day am still reading Wanjohi n boy is he funny at Wa-thaka thanks for making my day and will be a keen follower

"Whether i still do the girl or not not is irrelevant. It reminds me one day in class 6, english teacher tell us to write composition about HEADMASTER. He give each pupil 1 fulls-cap. I knew so much about headmaster. I wrote and turn the other side, asked for another and it finished 2 sides too. I write alot of things about headmaster. All other pupil write on one page and some don't even finish one page. When teacher return my composition, mine is crossed in the middle with red pen and written 'irrelevant'."