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SIngle parenthood vs Family
dossy7
#1 Posted : Sunday, April 10, 2011 10:49:22 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 12/9/2009
Posts: 1,491
Location: Nairobi
Hello Wazuans
Watching KTN yesternyt i was shocked to see that most women preferred single parenthood.What happened to the old fashion family involving both parents?surely times have changed.
What is ur take would u raise ur kid alone if u could have both partners present?
Kenya ni yetu sisi sote
Gordon Gekko
#2 Posted : Sunday, April 10, 2011 11:13:07 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/27/2008
Posts: 3,760
And you single mums quit bringing your boys over to my house over weekends so that they can be around a 'father figure' NNNNKKKKTTTT
Lolest!
#3 Posted : Sunday, April 10, 2011 1:46:26 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/18/2011
Posts: 12,069
Location: Kianjokoma
Most of these unmarriageable, independent women end up being home breakers, so watch it brothers. Others have unnatural sexual orientation and others start affairs with college boys
Laughing out loudly smile Applause d'oh! Sad Drool Liar Shame on you Pray
Abby
#4 Posted : Monday, April 11, 2011 7:56:09 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 3/7/2011
Posts: 112
Imagine a girl who has grown up knowing only her Mum; will such know how to deal with a husband? Will she handle authority? It is a disaster in the making here.

Unfortunately, most women think that once they have a career, everything is set ..... we have a huge problem all over the world at this rate.

Wendz
#5 Posted : Monday, April 11, 2011 9:48:03 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
Gordon Gekko wrote:
And you single mums quit bringing your boys over to my house over weekends so that they can be around a 'father figure' NNNNKKKKTTTT


hehehehehehehehe... ati they bring their kids to your house? LOL... and your wife? She hasnt raised hell yet?
Burning Spear
#6 Posted : Monday, April 11, 2011 11:42:21 AM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 7/22/2008
Posts: 1,139
Abby wrote:
Imagine a girl who has grown up knowing only her Mum; will such know how to deal with a husband? Will she handle authority? It is a disaster in the making here.

Unfortunately, most women think that once they have a career, everything is set ..... we have a huge problem all over the world at this rate.




no pun intended but sad is the man who get married to a gal from a single parent (mother in this case).
Those gals do not understand the importance of a man since they grew up seeing their mother struggle without men.

Nowadays women (those wishing to stay single but have children) see men like a doctor's portable fridge (only for sperms) the one which the doctor uses to carry life saving blood.

With the dildos finding their way in our country in plenty,us men should be very worried and indeed we will soon be endangered species.

I hope all had time to watch sunday live jana where Elizabeth Wambui was reporting on the increasingly behaviour to homosexuality in our schools eg Ng'aru girls in Kirinyaga
"You're not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who says it". Malcolm X
Dia
#7 Posted : Monday, April 11, 2011 12:44:21 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 3/30/2010
Posts: 176
For a girl who's never been a parent and has had disappointing relationships, single parenthood sounds like the perfect solution to ticking clock. What they don't know is that parenting is more than just giving birth and having this cute/handsome little thing loving you unconditionally. It's about raising a human being with certain moral and social values. And a father's role in this is INVALUABLE! It makes me sad to see kids from such families, they've missed so much and are clueless about what they've missed.
Euge
#8 Posted : Monday, April 11, 2011 12:55:41 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 8/4/2008
Posts: 2,849
Location: Rupi
I dont think what they say is from deep within them. Unless one was in a hell of a marriage and it didn't work. Otherwise where possible, give children an opportunity to have a mother and a father.
Lord, thank you!
Gordon Gekko
#9 Posted : Monday, April 11, 2011 1:10:01 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/27/2008
Posts: 3,760
Wendz wrote:
Gordon Gekko wrote:
And you single mums quit bringing your boys over to my house over weekends so that they can be around a 'father figure' NNNNKKKKTTTT


hehehehehehehehe... ati they bring their kids to your house? LOL... and your wife? She hasnt raised hell yet?


They are actually the missus' friends!!
Wendz
#10 Posted : Monday, April 11, 2011 1:13:42 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
I may be wrong but this is my thinking.

We have different women. Some see men as just providers financially. Partly, because of the way they grew up. they might have had fathers (because majority of those who want to be single are from two parent families too) but the father's role was only restricted to paying school fees and paying rent... the rest was left for the mother to handle, including discipline. Others are from single parents. So when these ladies grow up, they see the man as they saw their father and reduce their role as providers only. When such women can "provide" say through well paying jobs and say successful businesses, the role of the man in their life then ceases. That's how they imagine, that all a man can do is donate a kid and he doesnt even need to know that he has a little duplicate walking around who he will never get to meet.

I do find it selfish because what the mother then does is just to satisfy her 'needs' while not really looking at what the kid is missing. It is ideal that each child is brought up by two parents but only in the event that it is not possible that a mother can then raise the child on her own. Even when there are differences, i think as grown-ups we should be able to separate our relationships and the relationship between the child and its parents. The fact that it didnt work out with the father or the mother to the kid is not a good reason enough for either the mother to deny the father access to the kid or the father to decide that he doenst have anything to do with the kid. it is possible to have a civil agreement that in the interest of the kid, the parents stay separate, but the children should have access to both parents....

But incase of those who have lost their spouses, it doesnt mean that they cant raise their children in the best way possible and they turn out to be great kids.... Sometimes, let us not jump into conclusions that a single parent just wanted to be. some people are doing a great job while still trying to cope with the loss of their loved ones. And also, there are those whose fathers or mothers have deliberately ran away from their kids lives and dont want to take responsibility. such parents need support. Condemning them doesn't help the society either. And before we condemn, i hope you are really making a difference in that kid who doesn't have a mother or father in your family... may be a nephew or a niece and you provide that support to the mother/father... otherwise, you are just contributing to a problem in the society.... And most importantly, that you are not broadcasting your seeds all over the place and walking like nothing happened... It starts with us, to be responsible parents, then responsible family members and then citizens. Then we can point fingers in all directions.

Denying the other parent access to the kid if he/she is willing to be in their lives is purely selfish. I dont see any other reason.
Abby
#11 Posted : Monday, April 11, 2011 2:06:27 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 3/7/2011
Posts: 112
Very good thoughts indeed.

I guess the matter here was the attitude of some women who think that they can bring up a wholesome child alone; we have some with such an attitude - and try to trash men.

Else, the points are well said.

Regards
famooz
#12 Posted : Monday, April 11, 2011 2:45:48 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/19/2007
Posts: 2,047
Interesting thread.

I am talking more about the ladies who claim"i do not want a man in my life,just kid". But truth of the matter is,they have looked for a the elusive Tall dark and handome partner,the biological clock has become like vuvuzela after which they have decided to have a kid. After that you will see them either with different guys or they will hook up with one guy ( almost always a married guy or someone who is already in a relationship ) and that will be her 'boyfriend' .........pathetic.
dossy7
#13 Posted : Monday, April 11, 2011 2:53:07 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 12/9/2009
Posts: 1,491
Location: Nairobi
Very interactive
Kenya ni yetu sisi sote
Wendz
#14 Posted : Monday, April 11, 2011 3:00:22 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
famooz wrote:
Interesting thread.

I am talking more about the ladies who claim"i do not want a man in my life,just kid". But truth of the matter is,they have looked for a the elusive Tall dark and handome partner,the biological clock has become like vuvuzela after which they have decided to have a kid. After that you will see them either with different guys or they will hook up with one guy ( almost always a married guy or someone who is already in a relationship ) and that will be her 'boyfriend' .........pathetic.


@famooz, there is another crop that doesn't want any kids altogether... There is a one time neighbour of mine, in mid thirties now, she said from when she was in her late 20s that she did not want to have a kid and dint want a commitment. That kids do not have any space in her life.... And she seems to have lived it so far... don't ask me how.... i just cant understand.
mukiha
#15 Posted : Monday, April 11, 2011 3:07:15 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/27/2008
Posts: 4,114
dossy7 wrote:
Hello Wazuans
Watching KTN yesternyt i was shocked to see that most women preferred single parenthood.What happened to the old fashion family involving both parents?surely times have changed.
What is ur take would u raise ur kid alone if u could have both partners present?

TV news is not a proper research tool.... you cannot use it to conclude that "most women prefer single parenthood"
Nothing is real unless it can be named; nothing has value unless it can be sold; money is worthless unless you spend it.
famooz
#16 Posted : Monday, April 11, 2011 3:09:55 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/19/2007
Posts: 2,047
[
@famooz, there is another crop that doesn't want any kids altogether... There is a one time neighbour of mine, in mid thirties now, she said from when she was in her late 20s that she did not want to have a kid and dint want a commitment. That kids do not have any space in her life.... And she seems to have lived it so far... don't ask me how.... i just cant understand.]
[/quote]


@ Wendz,i am tempted to ask you if she just wants bombing and landing bila kids?smile
dossy7
#17 Posted : Monday, April 11, 2011 3:19:59 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 12/9/2009
Posts: 1,491
Location: Nairobi
mukiha wrote:
dossy7 wrote:
Hello Wazuans
Watching KTN yesternyt i was shocked to see that most women preferred single parenthood.What happened to the old fashion family involving both parents?surely times have changed.
What is ur take would u raise ur kid alone if u could have both partners present?

TV news is not a proper research tool.... you cannot use it to conclude that "most women prefer single parenthood"


@Mukiha I do agree but even just listening at the comments being read u get a general feeling that something ain't right
Kenya ni yetu sisi sote
Burning Spear
#18 Posted : Monday, April 11, 2011 3:32:53 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 7/22/2008
Posts: 1,139
Wendz wrote:
famooz wrote:
Interesting thread.

I am talking more about the ladies who claim"i do not want a man in my life,just kid". But truth of the matter is,they have looked for a the elusive Tall dark and handome partner,the biological clock has become like vuvuzela after which they have decided to have a kid. After that you will see them either with different guys or they will hook up with one guy ( almost always a married guy or someone who is already in a relationship ) and that will be her 'boyfriend' .........pathetic.


@famooz, there is another crop that doesn't want any kids altogether... There is a one time neighbour of mine, in mid thirties now, she said from when she was in her late 20s that she did not want to have a kid and dint want a commitment. That kids do not have any space in her life.... And she seems to have lived it so far... don't ask me how.... i just cant understand.



@Wendz,pschologically,that lady could be unmarriageable xter.It has nothing to do with wanting a kid or husband.
Ngoja afike 40-42 and she will hang out with 25yr old gal friends after her age mates decides to settle while educating kids in form one.
She will cry alone.

Not wanting kids or husbands is insincere claim that unmarriageable ladies use to fill their ego.
"You're not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who says it". Malcolm X
Mtublack
#19 Posted : Monday, April 11, 2011 4:33:57 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 11/18/2009
Posts: 175
I respect people who are courageous enough to say parenthood is not for them whatever their reasons are instead of bring kids in this world and expecting others to bring up your kids

parenthood is a live time calling and there is a lot of satisafaction from it but lets be honest its hardwork and selfsacrifice if you are not ready dont bring in kids in this world, its not only unfair to them but also to the people whom you are going to burden them with
Some you win some you lose
Wendz
#20 Posted : Monday, April 11, 2011 5:19:30 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
Mtublack wrote:
I respect people who are courageous enough to say parenthood is not for them whatever their reasons are instead of bring kids in this world and expecting others to bring up your kids

parenthood is a live time calling and there is a lot of satisafaction from it but lets be honest its hardwork and selfsacrifice if you are not ready dont bring in kids in this world, its not only unfair to them but also to the people whom you are going to burden them with


mmmmh... different way of thinking... never looked at it like that... makes sense!
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