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Bombing Kandahar
famooz
#1 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 9:37:20 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/19/2007
Posts: 2,047
Lets leave matters hague for now! it's fridaysmile


here Eve is the woman and Adam is the man (well...obviously)

c+p

Recently, I had the pleasure of reading a very creative thread on a certain website. The writer, an obviously very humorous person, titled the thread, ‘How long?’ and then went ahead and wrote ‘How long should she hold before granting him permit to land his Air Force 1 at the capital city of Thailand:)?’Needless to say, this thread received responses with matched creativity. One of the members said something to the effect that Air Force 1 needs to request to land, and if not allowed, it needs to make an emergency landing!

In a landlocked country west of Kenya, landing the Air Force has been referred to as ‘Bombing Kandahar’. Now you must understand that in that country, there is a whole profession dedicated to matters ‘air-borne and landing of aircrafts’. The professional is referred to as ‘Ssenga’; this is a woman whose pure role is to teach women of marriageable age how to please a man.

Rumor has it that there have been outcries from Kenyan women at the border and beyond because of the (un)founded concerns that women from the Ssenga country have completely captured the imagination of men in Kenya and the men have acted on it with fervor. One would be tempted to believe that in that country, Air Force 1 lands with a 7.8 degree earthquake aftermath! Why else would this experience be referred to as ‘Bombing Kandahar’?’Neither would anyone blame these Adams who have received the necessary ‘support’ to deliver an ‘aftershock’ inducing landing!

Comedian Steve Harvey who is well known to Eves as the author of ‘Act Live A Lady, Think Like A Man’ is not so much concerned with the aftermath of bombing, but rather on how long it should take before a landing signal is read on the radar. His advice is that, when Eve and Adam are getting to know each other/dating, no bombing should take place before 90 days have elapsed. So simply, this means that if dating began in January, forget that Valentine’s Day is around the corner, accept the flowers and chocolates, but it is not yet time for any lights to flicker on the runway until April! (This advice does not take into consideration restrictions hinged on religious convictions:)).

To paraphrase ‘Dr. Steve’, just because Adam has asked you out does not mean that he has an automatic membership to NATO and can therefore bomb in self interest. He says that any Adam with good intentions will respect the rules that have been laid down and that this could be one sign that his interest is not only Kandahar-based; he is interested in other greater regions of Afghanistan:). However, do not be ‘fooled’, he still wants to bomb! This is where Eve’s role of ensuring that the period of familiarization with the greater regions is implemented because this crucial period gives a healthy sense of whether Adam just wants to land and disembark passengers or is actually interested in Eve and deserves her benefits

…………….but waiting for 90 days sounds more like waiting for leasehold to expire so as to purchase a property. (In Kenya, leaseholds currently can span up to 999 years!Laughing out loudly

However, be alive to the likelihood that the Air Force 1 might decide that it has been airborne for too long (especially if all that is happening is ticking days off the calendar:)), and decide to crash land elsewhere. Eve should not wonder if it was a Boeing 737 or Cessna 172; rather, she should be happy that whatever the make, it self-combusted miles away from her beautiful self. After all, isn’t life broader than ‘magnitudes’ and ‘aftershocks?’
waiter
#2 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 11:31:46 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 10/27/2008
Posts: 52
@famooz
Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

This has made my day. The airport in entebbe and surrounding airstrips have a world class service (Ssenga compliant) and it doesn't consume much of air fuel asking for landing lights.
The control towers are perfectly pointed towards oncoming traffic.
Intelligentsia
#3 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 11:38:18 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/1/2009
Posts: 2,436
@famooz, nicely article this.

say what if a new Kandahar comes your way and just wants to be bombed, no lovey dovey stuff - how long should a 'respectbale' Air Force wait, if at all? Society assumes instantly but should the Air Force turn the blanding lights on and just land?
famooz
#4 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 11:45:22 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/19/2007
Posts: 2,047
@ intel, i will let Njunge to answer that onesmile

Njung'e
#5 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 11:55:13 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/7/2007
Posts: 11,935
Location: Nairobi
@Famooz,
Drool....Some poke,others bomb.....I suspect there is carpet bombing Tora Bora.
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
famooz
#6 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 2:22:02 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/19/2007
Posts: 2,047
Njung'e wrote:
@Famooz,
Drool....Some poke,others bomb.....I suspect there is carpet bombing Tora Bora.




@ guka so should i rename it POKING Kandahar?smile

@ Intel,i think in that case,you can poke Kandahar and run...cos do not be cheated,once you bomb,in her books,you are an item smile
Njung'e
#7 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 3:04:44 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/7/2007
Posts: 11,935
Location: Nairobi
Haha....sema yote.So duddettes have tu-notebooks where all is hidden eh?.i,m thinking if i got Mwende's i would find such comments against items;
Guka.....Pilot per excellente.Can reverse in the airDrool .
Magigi...Jinga kabisa.Carpet bombs you would think Osama lives inside the airportSad .
Callaspade...Owns a pimple for a pine...d'oh! BK!
Wanyuru......Huyo ni mwanaume ama ni long'i?Brick wall
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
callaspade
#8 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 3:12:46 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 11/12/2009
Posts: 925
Njung'e wrote:
Haha....sema yote.So duddettes have tu-notebooks where all is hidden eh?.i,m thinking if i got Mwende's i would find such comments against items;
Guka.....Pilot per excellente.Can reverse in the airDrool .
Magigi...Jinga kabisa.Carpet bombs you would think Osama lives inside the airportSad .
Callaspade...Owns a pimple for a pine...d'oh! BK!
Wanyuru......Huyo ni mwanaume ama ni long'i?Brick wall



....please sambaza me one of your many and she then decides....one that you have not finished the grip on the runway,ngui eno Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
kingfisher
#9 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 3:27:09 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 4/9/2008
Posts: 2,824
Njung'e wrote:
Haha....sema yote.So duddettes have tu-notebooks where all is hidden eh?.i,m thinking if i got Mwende's i would find such comments against items;
Guka.....Pilot per excellente.Can reverse in the airDrool .
Magigi...Jinga kabisa.Carpet bombs you would think Osama lives inside the airportSad .
Callaspade...Owns a pimple for a pine...d'oh! BK!
Wanyuru......Huyo ni mwanaume ama ni long'i?Brick wall


guka...now I think know what you smoke
When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart.
Njung'e
#10 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 3:39:35 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/7/2007
Posts: 11,935
Location: Nairobi
Kingfisher.......ejected before plane crashed.
Maichblack.......Never took off!


@Callaspade,
Laughing out loudly .Hupati ng'o!smile
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
bwenyenye
#11 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 3:48:24 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/24/2007
Posts: 1,805
mimi naona vita hapa......

@King, Maich,Magigi... kwani iko nini.. kwanza Wanyuru.. awwuuui.. wekelea panga kwa meza
I Think Therefore I Am
MaichBlack
#12 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 3:52:02 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/22/2009
Posts: 7,595
Njung'e wrote:
Magigi...Jinga kabisa.Carpet bombs you would think Osama lives inside the airportSad .

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Poor @Magigi. Carpet bombing is even worse than planes that don't take off and the owner blames pilot stress.

And traffic controllers talk. @Magigi might request landing in an airport he has never landed before and the airport management cites his tendency to carpet bomb as the reason for not granting permission to land!!!

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good returns.
gift
#13 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 3:53:46 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 10/8/2009
Posts: 39
Intelligentsia wrote:
@famooz, nicely article this.

say what if a new Kandahar comes your way and just wants to be bombed, no lovey dovey stuff - how long should a 'respectbale' Air Force wait, if at all? Society assumes instantly but should the Air Force turn the blanding lights on and just land?



Lucky you

Njung'e
#14 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 3:54:01 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/7/2007
Posts: 11,935
Location: Nairobi
@Bwenyenye,
Hate speech.....Unajua it's end month.Naweza pigwa na kulipiwa ni police station...lol.
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
McReggae
#15 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 3:57:18 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/17/2008
Posts: 23,365
Location: Nairobi
Njung'e wrote:
Kingfisher.......ejected before plane crashed.
Maichblack.......Never took off!


@Callaspade,
Laughing out loudly .Hupati ng'o!smile


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Applause Applause Applause Applause
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
callaspade
#16 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 3:58:06 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 11/12/2009
Posts: 925
....Njunge,the day they stop manufacturing fiaagra, is the day you will commit suicide in old age Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
MaichBlack
#17 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 4:01:33 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/22/2009
Posts: 7,595
bwenyenye wrote:
mimi naona vita hapa......

@King, Maich,Magigi... kwani iko nini.. kwanza Wanyuru.. awwuuui.. wekelea panga kwa meza

We understand @guka. He is depressed. It is called DEIS - Dysfunctional Equipment Induced Stress. He lost function of his landing gear and all he can do is to make fun at other equipment.

You should have seen what @Mwende wrote in her black book.

@guka - First World War Plane. Couldn't take off even when pushed. Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good returns.
Njung'e
#18 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 4:05:00 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/7/2007
Posts: 11,935
Location: Nairobi
@Callaspade
Bure wewe!!smile .....You didn't know rhino horn was making APDs long before Viagra??.....I'll commit suicide long after the last rhino!Laughing out loudly
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
Njung'e
#19 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 4:11:54 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/7/2007
Posts: 11,935
Location: Nairobi
Mpenzi........Reading fine print and lawyer jargon in bed.
Waiter........Just waiting....brari mang'ethia
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
MaichBlack
#20 Posted : Friday, April 08, 2011 4:14:31 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/22/2009
Posts: 7,595
callaspade wrote:
....Njunge,the day they stop manufacturing fiaagra, is the day you will commit suicide in old age Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Are you serious? You didn't get the memo? @Njung'e is already on second line treatment [What is second line treatment?]. His [World War I] plane developed resistance to Viagra and it's derivatives. He's actually on experimental drugs at the moment! The side effects! That's a story for another day.
Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good returns.
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