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Why the chicken crossed the road

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My 2 cents		#1 Posted : Wednesday, March 30, 2011 12:19:40 PM
Rank: Veteran Joined: 6/2/2010 Posts: 1,091		QUESTION: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side. PLATO: For the greater good. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability. OBAMA: Because, YES IT CAN! MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR: ... I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives being called into question. MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was. OPRAH/ TYRA: Why does a chicken cross a road? Was it molested while still a chick? I mean, what kind of upbringing did it have? We need to invite the chicken to a share with us what happened> FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. OSAMA BIN LADEN: This was an unprovoked act by the infidels and zionist forces, we will avenge with suicide bombers!! GEORGE W. BUSH (2): The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here. ALFRED MUTUA: The chicken did not cross the road. And it is not true it was running away from the Kwekwe squad! What squad? This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken! The government views these allegations seriously and will leave no stone unturned to establish the source of these rumors. ANY KENYAN POLITICIAN: "From which tribe is the chicken? Our community has been marginalized for far too long – others have had their chance and it is now the turn of our chicken to eat!" DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads. EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. ISAAC NEWTON: Any chicken in the universe shall always cross a road perpendicularly to the side of the road, and in an infinitely long straight line at uniform speed, unless the chicken stops due to an unbalanced reactive force in the opposite direction of the chicken's motion NELSON MANDELA: Never again, will the chicken be questioned for crossing the road. This is an ideal for which I am prepared to die. ROBERT MUGABE: For all of these years the road has been owned by the white farmers, the poor underprivileged chicken has waited too long for that road to be given to him and now he is crossing it in force with his fellow war veteran chickens. We intend taking over this road and giving it to the roadless chickens so that they can cross it without fear of retribution from Britain who promised money to institute road reform. We will not stop until all roadless chickens have roads to cross and the freedom to cross them. RAILA ODINGA: Both me and President Kibaki had been telephoned about the chicken. Si sisi iko na demokrasia na tunataka wacha kuku apite, sio? Si kuku tosha?! It is even in the agreement between me and Kibaki. Lazima ipite, nimesema hivyo hii asubuhi. I have exclusive powers on this! EMILIO MWAI KIBAKI: Kuku ilivuka pale pale, ikienda huko huko........ na hilo ndio jambo la maana ....hakuna mambo ingine!...hakunaaaa.....na tutakataa namna gani ati kuku isivuke barabara ...hatuweziii ..na hao wanaendelea kuongea mambo ya kukuuu....ni wapumbavuuu... .....mavi ya hiyo kuku!!! That is unconstitutional. Na irundi kule itokako. KAJWANG: Our immigration system at the border point was down when the chicken entered our territory.And (laughs)we don’t even know who invited it! But we will deport it! However, we have no funds for its deportation. SAITOTI (waving a finger in the air): Let me tell you clearly: There comes a time when a chicken is far more important than an individual JIMMI GATHU: Je, ilikuwa na mpaaaango wa kandooo? PLO LUMUMBA: That an animal species of the poultry extraction was witnessed gallivanting, nay, actually sauntering contentedly across a motorway belies our preponderant propensity to keep on our wanton questioning of others' motives. Back to what the kindergarten teacher said: - To get to the other side
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dossy7		#2 Posted : Wednesday, March 30, 2011 12:22:41 PM
Rank: Elder Joined: 12/9/2009 Posts: 1,493 Location: Nairobi		My 2 cents wrote: QUESTION: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? JIMMI GATHU: Je, ilikuwa na mpaaaango wa kandooo? Kenya ni yetu sisi sote
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Kaigangio		#3 Posted : Wednesday, March 30, 2011 12:36:11 PM
Rank: Elder Joined: 2/27/2007 Posts: 2,768		RUTO: the chicken had to cross the road kwa sababu mahali ilipotoka kulikuwa na miungu na sanamu zilizotaka kwa kifua ziabudiwe....na pia kulikuwa na mahakama ya badia ya kuhukumu kuku bila kusikilizwa kwa kesi... *...besides, the presence of a safe alone does not signify that there is money inside...*
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Snazzy		#4 Posted : Wednesday, March 30, 2011 1:16:43 PM
Rank: New-farer Joined: 3/1/2011 Posts: 48		RUTO:We read political mischief in whatever was used to summon the chicken to cross over,na tunamwambia shetani .....ashindwe,ati nini?ashindwe kabisa. @My 2 cents,thank you ! “You can safely assume you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.” ― Anne Lamott
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Mpenzi		#5 Posted : Wednesday, March 30, 2011 1:29:39 PM
Rank: Veteran Joined: 10/17/2008 Posts: 1,234		Kaigangio wrote: RUTO: the chicken had to cross the road kwa sababu mahali ilipotoka kulikuwa na miungu na sanamu zilizotaka kwa kifua ziabudiwe....na pia kulikuwa na mahakama ya badia ya kuhukumu kuku bila kusikilizwa kwa kesi...
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marex		#6 Posted : Wednesday, March 30, 2011 5:39:46 PM
Rank: Member Joined: 10/4/2007 Posts: 656		MY VERSION Michael Ranneberger: To run away from the damning evidence of its infidelity exposed by the wiki leaks. Louis Moreno Ocampo: The chicken was running away from the six main perpetrators of post election violence. Hosni Mubarak: The chicken was incited though Facebook and Twitter. We must therefore shut the internet countrywide if we do not want more chicken to cross the road. PLO Lumumba: The Gallus domesticus gallivanted across the road in a motion that is reminiscent of the undulating perambulations of an inebriated pachyderm and we must investigate it. Alfred Mutua: No, The chicken did not cross the road. We don’t even have a chicken in the first place and even if we had a chicken, our able traffic police officers would have prevented it from crossing the road. Kenneth Marende: As many as are of the opinion that the chicken crossed the road say aye! As many as are of contrary opinion say Nay.The ayes have it! . David Rudisha: Hiyo chicken ilikuwa inataka kuonyesha sisi fiatu fyake finafyong’ara ambafyo ilikuwa imefaa. Jeff Koinange: What a Chicken, What a road! You cannot find such kind of chicken crossing the road apart from K24 where we have all chicken, crossing the road!. Anyang’ Nyong’o: After this, my chicken will cross the road and join me at the Serena. I will spend 2000 shillings, to feed my chicken at the Serena. That is an amount of money that Atwoli is not ready to part with, so that his chicken can cross the road and eat food at the Serena Bonny Khalwale: Oh the Chicken crossed the road, oh, its mother knew, oh the chicken crossed, oh, the cock knew, oh.. oh... oh, to stop the chicken from crossing the road, Kimunya must Go! Kajwang: The chicken chickened out and crossed the road when I started singing Mapambano Francis Atwoli . Yes, Yes, Yes,Yes I told the Minister that all the workers in the country will boycott work if the chicken is not allowed to cross the road. Mshenzi yeye!!! Kalonzo Musyoka: Wiper!! Wiper!! The chicken had been drenched by the rain and crossed the road in search of a wiper. Wiper!! Wiper!! In fact ilipitia kati kati ya gari mbili. Wiper!! Wiper!! Raila Odinga: The National accord says that the chicken shall be allowed to cross the road by the president in consultation with the prime minister. I was not consulted before the chicken was allowed to cross the road. This is a constitutional violation and we are going to court to contest that passage of the road Mwai Kibaki: Na hiyo kuku ilipita pale pale, na ilikuwa ikiregarega huku na huku. Na hiyo kuku ilikuwa inasumbuliwa na mafi ya kuku and that is why it crossed the road to look for a toilet!! The way I am
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For Sport		#7 Posted : Wednesday, March 30, 2011 9:48:55 PM
Rank: Veteran Joined: 12/23/2010 Posts: 1,229		Why is my next meal the subject of such a long elaborate discussion? Just eat the chicken already. Smart kindergaten teacher
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My 2 cents		#8 Posted : Thursday, March 31, 2011 10:04:56 AM
Rank: Veteran Joined: 6/2/2010 Posts: 1,091		marex wrote: MY VERSION Michael Ranneberger: To run away from the damning evidence of its infidelity exposed by the wiki leaks. Louis Moreno Ocampo: The chicken was running away from the six main perpetrators of post election violence. Hosni Mubarak: The chicken was incited though Facebook and Twitter. We must therefore shut the internet countrywide if we do not want more chicken to cross the road. PLO Lumumba: The Gallus domesticus gallivanted across the road in a motion that is reminiscent of the undulating perambulations of an inebriated pachyderm and we must investigate it. Alfred Mutua: No, The chicken did not cross the road. We don’t even have a chicken in the first place and even if we had a chicken, our able traffic police officers would have prevented it from crossing the road. Kenneth Marende: As many as are of the opinion that the chicken crossed the road say aye! As many as are of contrary opinion say Nay.The ayes have it! . David Rudisha: Hiyo chicken ilikuwa inataka kuonyesha sisi fiatu fyake finafyong’ara ambafyo ilikuwa imefaa. Jeff Koinange: What a Chicken, What a road! You cannot find such kind of chicken crossing the road apart from K24 where we have all chicken, crossing the road!. Anyang’ Nyong’o: After this, my chicken will cross the road and join me at the Serena. I will spend 2000 shillings, to feed my chicken at the Serena. That is an amount of money that Atwoli is not ready to part with, so that his chicken can cross the road and eat food at the Serena Bonny Khalwale: Oh the Chicken crossed the road, oh, its mother knew, oh the chicken crossed, oh, the cock knew, oh.. oh... oh, to stop the chicken from crossing the road, Kimunya must Go! Kajwang: The chicken chickened out and crossed the road when I started singing Mapambano Francis Atwoli . Yes, Yes, Yes,Yes I told the Minister that all the workers in the country will boycott work if the chicken is not allowed to cross the road. Mshenzi yeye!!! Kalonzo Musyoka: Wiper!! Wiper!! The chicken had been drenched by the rain and crossed the road in search of a wiper. Wiper!! Wiper!! In fact ilipitia kati kati ya gari mbili. Wiper!! Wiper!! Raila Odinga: The National accord says that the chicken shall be allowed to cross the road by the president in consultation with the prime minister. I was not consulted before the chicken was allowed to cross the road. This is a constitutional violation and we are going to court to contest that passage of the road Mwai Kibaki: Na hiyo kuku ilipita pale pale, na ilikuwa ikiregarega huku na huku. Na hiyo kuku ilikuwa inasumbuliwa na mafi ya kuku and that is why it crossed the road to look for a toilet!! Very creative indeed, Marex (my original post was a copy paste from elsewhere, not my own work)
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Intelligentsia		#9 Posted : Thursday, March 31, 2011 10:19:24 AM
Rank: Elder Joined: 10/1/2009 Posts: 2,436		My 2 cents wrote: KAJWANG: Our immigration system at the border point was down when the chicken entered our territory.And (laughs)we don’t even know who invited it! But we will deport it! However, we have no funds for its deportation. SAITOTI (waving a finger in the air): Let me tell you clearly: There comes a time when a chicken is far more important than an individual JIMMI GATHU: Je, ilikuwa na mpaaaango wa kandooo? PLO LUMUMBA: That an animal species of the poultry extraction was witnessed gallivanting, nay, actually sauntering contentedly across a motorway belies our preponderant propensity to keep on our wanton questioning of others' motives. my my my, the power of email. I was actually the original author of these 4 sometime back and now it has come back! Remember that time of that guy wazuans called Al Sisal (Al Kimathi or so) when guys were fighting it out outside Jamia mosque and the al shabaab flag was being waved, and a cop was shot? Kajwang at the time had come under pressure why this guy entered kenya through Lunga Lunga and was not arrested but his immigration guys said their system was down...the rest I took from day-to-day affairs and just added the whole lot to the earlier email sent by a pal. wa, am amazed.
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segemia		#10 Posted : Thursday, March 31, 2011 10:21:30 AM
Rank: Member Joined: 2/20/2009 Posts: 658		MUTUTHO: As long as the chicken remained on one side of the road, there would have been no liquor rules on the other. So they had to cross the road! BISHOP WANJIRU: The chicken crossed the road because the glory of Lorda was on the other side.
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