Abby wrote:Thanks.
I think we are going somewhere now. The man (my friend) helps his daughter.
What he's not sure is what to do in the long term to safeguard the interests of his daughter.... it is unlikely he is going to marry the lady in question.
Any thoughts?
These guys clearly had problems from kitambo... the boy issue is just the icing. But i do understand where he is coming from.
If the children have their mother, let her take care of them and they help them when she is with them. If she is that irresponsible, how about taking them to boarding school and they can only come back during the holidays so their mother will not have a lot of time to spend with them... alternatively, during the holidays, they can go to their grandmother... (i presume the lady has parents)
Ok, assuming even if the children were put up with the grandparents, boarding or another relative he still wont marry the lady, he can
1. discuss with the lady the possibility of him taking his daughter and staying with her (it is unlikely a woman with such strong sense of responsibility and maturity will allow him take her child)
2. He can discuss with her on which aspects of the child he will get involved in eg, he pays schoolfees for the child, may be rent, create time to be picking up the child to spend time with her etc
3. close his yes, get into it, wade in the misery and join the MbM club... He Will Never Walk Alone
But seriously, i think except for the fact that the lady seems to have a strong personality that makes him feel overshadowed or out of control, he still has a soft spot for this woman....