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Women and their relatives
Rank: Member Joined: 3/7/2011 Posts: 112
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Hi Gentlemen,
Good morning!
I would appreciate some comments on women and their relatives.
There is this friend of mine who has a child/daughter with a mature, working lady (the two are not married and live separately).
The man was not very comfortable with having the lady as his wife, but because of the daughter, he was entertaining the idea of living with the lady.
Now, to the man's surprise, the lady takes two young boys (her late brother's children). The man could not understand this .... he says he could be Ok if the lady took just one boy, but two boys ---- he feels as if the lady is deciding between the two boys and him!
Any thoughts gentlemen?
By the way, the man was never really comfortable with living with the lady in the first place. According to him, the lady needs a kind of Yes-Type-Man. For a type of man who would want to have his way on some issues, there would be trouble in the House.
I guess I now understand why rich men (Americans) have such high divorce rates....
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 7/22/2008 Posts: 1,139
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@Abby, We sympathize that you have that kind of problem.Just discuss it with your wife and tell her you do not want intruders into your marriage. Its sad that you may not have the best of your time to enjoy yourselves when your wife invites the whole clan to your house.Just tell her what you feel and see how she reacts. "You're not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who says it". Malcolm X
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Rank: Elder Joined: 8/11/2010 Posts: 1,588
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Yeah, I feel for you Abby. It does not feel good even for a minute having the desire to do good yet obstacles are in the way preventing you.
Just find another way of taking care of daughter. There is always another way.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/11/2008 Posts: 2,306
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@All, its not abby here, it's a 'friend' Hahaha Great men are not always wise, neither do the aged understand judgement...
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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Robinhood wrote:@All, its not abby here, it's a 'friend' Hahaha ...hapa watu wako macho brazza, umeona vile kamepotea????? ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/13/2009 Posts: 1,950 Location: in kenya
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its not like you are married or something....I think if you cant stand the heat you can just walk out...The lady is working and this is a relationship of convenience. splitting two brothers is not right if she has the means to take care of the two 'intruders' as well as ur daughter I dont see anything wrong with it. '......to the acknowledgment of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ; 3 In whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.' Colossians 2:2-3
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 12/23/2010 Posts: 1,229
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/11/2008 Posts: 2,306
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@Abby, did you say the lady is an amazonian? I feel for you bro. Time to take cover if you ask me. These are not decisions one can take alone in a marriage and if they do, it shows the regard one has for the spouse. Great men are not always wise, neither do the aged understand judgement...
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/13/2009 Posts: 1,950 Location: in kenya
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IS THIS A MARRIAGE OR A 'COME WE STAY'? '......to the acknowledgment of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ; 3 In whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.' Colossians 2:2-3
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Rank: Member Joined: 1/26/2011 Posts: 211 Location: Nairobi
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Rank: Member Joined: 4/18/2008 Posts: 51
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@Abby,supporting the late brothers boys is not an issue.u r looking for excuse.Imagine u die like today,do u expect ur daughter to be taken care of??
Just be frank and tell us its the lady whom u dont want around.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/19/2007 Posts: 2,047
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it seem mko na issues that only the 2 of you can solve. For example,how can your partner/your friends partner bring in other kids without consultation- maybe you need to go back to basics such a communication before deciding if you want to be pamoja........
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/26/2007 Posts: 6,514
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You're complaining about a woman's relatives, what about her stupid friends? Especially those losers who can't hold a relationship and are found chasing all kinds of men everywhere, yet they give her advise on how she should handle you? Business opportunities are like buses,there's always another one coming
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/24/2007 Posts: 1,805
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Me thinks you is a 'Yes man!!! Why else would you stay on to someone you do not like... I Think Therefore I Am
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/11/2008 Posts: 2,306
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Abby, Sorry I have too many questions. You also say the lady is 'mature'. Are you 'mature' too? Great men are not always wise, neither do the aged understand judgement...
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/9/2009 Posts: 6,592 Location: Nairobi
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He can support his kid from a distant. That mama is trouble toka kijiko!
BBI will solve it :)
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Rank: Member Joined: 8/5/2009 Posts: 597
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@Abby where are you to answer all these questions? or you have taken to the hills. The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence
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Rank: Member Joined: 1/24/2011 Posts: 407 Location: Nairobi,Kenya
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Burning Spear wrote:@Abby,
We sympathize that you have that kind of problem.Just discuss it with your wife and tell her you do not want intruders into your marriage.
Its sad that you may not have the best of your time to enjoy yourselves when your wife invites the whole clan to your house.Just tell her what you feel and see how she reacts. You are crazy spear!!  Hope is not a strategy
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Rank: Member Joined: 5/5/2010 Posts: 95 Location: Nairobi
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@ Abby Umeenda wapi? you ask for advice then u disappear? ebu kuwa serious kidogo!!!
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Rank: Member Joined: 3/7/2011 Posts: 112
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Hi,
Sorry I was off air. But thanks for your observations.
By the way, I was just mentioning a matter that one of my friends has - he is in no position to bring the matter here.
Now, do you mean to say that one boy can not live with another relative? This is the point my friend had: and you know what he was told? That the two boys can not live separate.
If a lady can say that and they are not married, what about when they are married!!
That is why I was of the opinion that the lady was broadcasting a decision: she had decided between her late brother's boys and my friend!
Hard world. Frankly, two boys about 6 to 10 years, you bring them up till they achieve independence and then they can turn against you - this is a hard world!
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