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ATM/Debit?credit Card
Rank: Elder Joined: 4/9/2008 Posts: 2,824
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Hakuna siri ya watu wawili..... and these are very easy matters.... just avoid the ATMs and you have no passwords/PINs to hide/reveal!!! When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 4/9/2008 Posts: 2,824
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And while we are still on this, can someone tell how much online/internet shopping is done by kenyans annually?? Or better still, where can one get such data?? When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/7/2007 Posts: 11,935 Location: Nairobi
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@Wendz, Ahsante Cucu....lol. @JB, I didn't offer any advice to nobody.I only gave an opinion.My Opinion.However,as Cucu has put it,somewhere along the way,you'll realise the folly of believing in fairy tales.....Let's say you don't even believe it yourself coz sharing does not mean unity....Is it not true that sometimes you fart long after her?..C'mon son.Now try and share that! Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/31/2008 Posts: 7,081 Location: Kenya
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Njung'e wrote:When you entrust him/her with your personal finance situations,he/she will like to keep track of your spending....That means war.If you love your peace,keep this things to yourself and also keep off from his/hers. I fully agree. Full disclosure can only lead to disaster!!!. Why would I want her to account how much she used for her 'always' etc!. However there is a problem if spouses have accounts that are not known to each other. I think it is all right for a spouse to know my accounts, my pin numbers etc and vice versa...but not the contents... I really loathe those stories I hear of people dying and leaving so much money abroad that is not known by their spouses. Shenzi kabisa... Words of wisdom ...sometimes you fart long after her. (Njung'e)
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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Njung'e wrote:@Wendz, Ahsante Cucu....lol.
hehehehehehe...@guka, wanaitwa vijana.... some of these things are not taught on a 'sitdown" classroom.... and the "pre-marital" classes they hold these days are Cinderella aka mills n boon classes... No one calls it as it is.... for fear of not conforming with the mexican-soap-society....
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/23/2008 Posts: 3,966
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@Wendz, most times people who have not been in it listen keenly to what others are saying about marriage. That is why in forums like this, its important to talk about things that work as well, without bringing out the 5 points. You tell someone marriage is not good, and they will believe it. You tell someone men are not trustworthy and that they will cheat on their wives, and someone will believe it. You tell someone, that you better hide stuff from your spouse, and what will they do? When you say something is working because its honeymoon stage or fairy tale, you would make someone believe that in reality it does not work. Someone asked if he should share his ATM/PIN with his wife. I share my opinion about what has worked for me (and has worked for others as well), and you shoot it down with a 5-pointer. @Njung'e, ok. I take back my 'advice' bit. Luck is when Preparation meets Opportunity. ~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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Jus Blazin wrote:@Wendz, most times people who have not been in it listen keenly to what others are saying about marriage. That is why in forums like this, its important to talk about things that work as well, without bringing out the 5 points. You tell someone marriage is not good, and they will believe it. You tell someone men are not trustworthy and that they will cheat on their wives, and someone will believe it. You tell someone, that you better hide stuff from your spouse, and what will they do? When you say something is working because its honeymoon stage or fairy tale, you would make someone believe that in reality it does not work. Someone asked if he should share his ATM/PIN with his wife. I share my opinion about what has worked for me (and has worked for others as well), and you shoot it down with a 5-pointer. @Njung'e, ok. I take back my 'advice' bit. hehehehe... ok. my apologies. I dint mean to "attack" you.. i was just trying to be practical because trust me, some spouses have a problem even knowing you paid for lunch for two and trying to explain you took a friend for lunch because it was her birthday no matter how innocent it was leaves raised eyebrows.... especially, if your spouse is insecure..... well, let me say, as i had said earlier, i t all depends on your spouse and your relationship.... May be this is a better advise....
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/26/2008 Posts: 4,449
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Someone explain how disclosing everything helps. Just imagine the hubby is an EPL lager loving partner and the wife a tea-toteller, saved, wedding show lover...some trust breeds distrust!
i believe it's simply about identifying the family financial goals and responsibly meeting the same. the couple should still have some form of independent lives.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 7/22/2008 Posts: 1,139
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kingfisher wrote:Hakuna siri ya watu wawili..... and these are very easy matters.... just avoid the ATMs and you have no passwords/PINs to hide/reveal!!!
You cant avoid the ATMs,so we have to get that. I agree with Njung'e and Wendz,kila mtu akae na PIN na ATM yake coz hii biashara ya mtu kuchungulia kwa account yangu how much money I spend on an averange weekend is byad !! I would also not want to know her ATM and PIN. "You're not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who says it". Malcolm X
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/19/2007 Posts: 2,047
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These are just my thoughts and i sort of agree with Juz Blazin
I tend to think that one of the reasons why guys do not like full disclosure is because it brings in a level of vulnerability. You might not be making as much as you would like to and you do not want your significant other to know. There is the other issue of lack of trust- which is where Blazin's urgement comes in,if you do not trust him/her,why are you together 1st place?
what good does it do if i think we can go for a holiday in shompole( Google,it is amazing) only to realise he cant foot the bills there? What does it help to plan to go live in an up market place only to learn much later that in fact it is impossible.......i think couples should be open with one another.And i think it is true,every relationship is different so everyone has to pursue what works for them and not what is out there......my 2 cents.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/23/2008 Posts: 3,966
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@Wendz, .Apology accepted... Luck is when Preparation meets Opportunity. ~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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famooz wrote:These are just my thoughts and i sort of agree with Juz Blazin
I tend to think that one of the reasons why guys do not like full disclosure is because it brings in a level of vulnerability. You might not be making as much as you would like to and you do not want your significant other to know. There is the other issue of lack of trust- which is where Blazing urgement comes in,if you do not trust him/her,why are you together 1st place?
what good does it do if i think we can go for a holiday in shompole( Google,it is amazing) only to realise he cant foot the bills there? What does it help to plan to go live in an up market place only to learn much later that in fact it is impossible.......i think couples should be open with one another.And i think it is true,every relationship is different so everyone has to pursue what works for them and not what is out there......my 2 cents. @famooz, you are a lady, you know how we are when it comes to impulse buying... like the nice bag you saw at the mall.... the nice shoes, the evening you indulged with your galfriends even when you knew you were tight on cash and brushed it off as "ah, its only once in a while", the manicure and pedicure you have been dying for and he thinks its a waste of money and the occasional bailing mum/my sister out.... now, imagine having to go report and explain each and everything? And not once, every other week or month depending on your discipline.... Imagine the suits you buy and have to leave in the car for a few days until there is a chance to sneak it in the house because "there is no money" and he hates credit.... and you took it on credit.... utalipia wapi with full disclosures.... aaaish! Remember, we are not saying that you do not disclose, with your statement, you have taken it a way new level..... Unless you are very insensitive, women always get to know when the guy is living beyond his means waaaaayyyy before you get married or think of living together... for a guy you are serious with, he will lie the first month of dating.... the second will be a "gotcha!!"
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/19/2007 Posts: 2,047
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hehehe Wendz,now if i have to go to the extent of leaving the suit in the car so that my hubby does not see,kuna shida mahali. This is fo rsure not for me,maybe i am way too open then and i guess i will suffer for asking him to be open( when the time comes:))
That aside,have you googled shompole ;)?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/31/2008 Posts: 7,081 Location: Kenya
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Wendz wrote:[quote=famooz]@ Imagine the suits you buy and have to leave in the car for a few days until there is a chance to sneak it in the house because "there is no money" and he hates credit.... and you took it on credit.... utalipia wapi with full disclosures.... aaaish!
...Kwani the suits are all of the same colour...Ama we are colour blind...Asi!!!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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famooz wrote: i guess i will suffer for asking him to be open( when the time comes:))
That aside,have you googled shompole ;)? @famooz... hehehehe... kumbe unatumia "parents" advise to respond.... IPO ilienda aje? Talk to me 15 years down the marriage and pray the IPO remains as open as you..... Surprisingly, many men usually have no problem opening up and declaring everything, its we women who push them to non-disclosure.... why? Blame it on the efficiency in our Scrutiny, Monitoring and Interrogative department! If you make this department ineffective, you will basically get to know alot, if not everything.. @Magigi.... you think you know all her clothes?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/7/2007 Posts: 11,935 Location: Nairobi
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@Wendz, You forgot to tell Magigi this.Women are very secretive.....and the reason,as an old guide once told me,lies in the fact that while men see the broader picture (Car,properties,land,school fees,a rural retreat,medical care and Rhoda's bills),women see the finer details(Salon,dressing up,chamas,coughing children,your growing tummy,torn curtains,the neighbour's new cat and that look you gave the mboch last evening....Thank you!.You can keep your millions). Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 4/9/2008 Posts: 2,824
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Burning Spear wrote:kingfisher wrote:Hakuna siri ya watu wawili..... and these are very easy matters.... just avoid the ATMs and you have no passwords/PINs to hide/reveal!!!
You cant avoid the ATMs,so we have to get that.I agree with Njung'e and Wendz,kila mtu akae na PIN na ATM yake coz hii biashara ya mtu kuchungulia kwa account yangu how much money I spend on an averange weekend is byad !! I would also not want to know her ATM and PIN. @Burning Spear.... you can avoid the ATM, you just need to get more organized!!! When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/19/2007 Posts: 2,047
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Wendz wrote:famooz wrote: i guess i will suffer for asking him to be open( when the time comes:))
That aside,have you googled shompole ;)? @famooz... hehehehe... kumbe unatumia "parents" advise to respond.... IPO ilienda aje? Talk to me 15 years down the marriage and pray the IPO remains as open as you..... Surprisingly, many men usually have no problem opening up and declaring everything, its we women who push them to non-disclosure.... why? Blame it on the efficiency in our Scrutiny, Monitoring and Interrogative department! If you make this department ineffective, you will basically get to know alot, if not everything.. @Magigi.... you think you know all her clothes? @ wendz,yeah suprisingly we listen to what those who have gone before us have to say....only that sometimes we don agree:) Hmmmm the IPO? it went so well,the nice polished gent of the wazua tribe still jazzes my life. wacha nimtumie hiyo link ya Shompole
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