@bwenyenye ur friend is ABK, @all if after living 2gather 4 sometime u know what type ur partner is(thats if u r sure he/she is responsible), give her the pin and atm. this reminds me of a friend who doesn't allow the wife to drive the family car.me think this is not fair and healthy.-mavi ya kuku.

What if the partners agree to spend 15% of their individual incomes as each pleases. Then the 85% iwekwe kwa meza. I guess such an arrangement would ease tension ya mulika mwizi

There's marriage and there is co-existing. If there's no total trust between you and your spouse, you know where you fall.

Your spouse is not your neighbor. She sleeps next to you, when you are so vulnerable in sleep. And you still get to wake up everyday. What will it profit you to hide stuff from her? Its easy dealing with loss of money than loss of your marriage...unless you have no idea why you got married in the first place.

Yesterday you hid your pay slip from her, today its the PIN/ATM, what will do tomorrow? And the day after that? You may find yourself making a career out of it. There's beauty in being open.

All i can say is,

1. You are one of the lucky few BUT you do not even try to understand other people
2. You are still in your honeymoon attire
3. Most of your friends are still single or are still in honeymoon attire
4. You do not have older friends who have been married for long (and either have their stories or know of some who have had issues)
5. you are living in utopia....

trust me, when i was young, i used to judge those who behaved differently and especially in relationships. After living long enough and hearing all sorts of friends with all sorts of stories, i know much better that, though you would want to disclose everything, sometimes there is more peace in some silence. And especially, if that includes accounting for every single coin he/she spends....


I'd agree with Foreman to some extent. In my view, decide who does what in the house depending on the income levels, everyone honors their part of the bargain, when there is an investment coming up, you pool the resources if you have to.... if one does not want to be party to that investment and wants to put in a different place and you can afford on your own, you invest there.... its for the family in any case.....