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Crisis
Wendz
#1 Posted : Thursday, February 24, 2011 12:27:55 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
I need help...

If you have been having quarrels with a galfriend who you have told severally you moved on and wont listen. She moves into your house, you try all means of sorting issues diplomatically and throwing her out but she stays put..... in one of the confrontations, she throws a glass to you and in the heat of moment, you loss control and hit her with an object, hurt her, calls a well connected family member and goes to hospital... how would you save your skin?

Practical solutions only on the way forward! condemnation at this point in time is no use.

My advise is

1. call the said brother and explain the story from your point of view so that he has full picture

2. go to the police and report (at the risk of being arrested)...

3. run and hide! (i dont know!)

Need your input brothers (and sisters who are on the guy's side - not supporting his actions but if he was your brother/friend/family)
chemos
#2 Posted : Thursday, February 24, 2011 12:34:47 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/28/2006
Posts: 1,799
First apologise.

An apology goes a long way.
K22
#3 Posted : Thursday, February 24, 2011 12:38:19 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 9/12/2008
Posts: 436
Location: illobi
The said galfriend now has Leverage after being hit (& hurt)- i would advise him to take option 3 above!

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man
Gordon Gekko
#4 Posted : Thursday, February 24, 2011 12:46:12 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/27/2008
Posts: 3,760
Dyke (slang)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Dyke is slang terminology referring to a lesbian or lesbianism. It originated as a derogatory label for a masculine or butch woman, and this usage still exists. However, some attempt to use it in a manner they see as positive, or simply as a neutral synonym for lesbian.[1] To some extent the word has been reappropriated.
Wendz
#5 Posted : Thursday, February 24, 2011 12:50:17 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
Gordon Gekko wrote:
Dyke (slang)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Dyke is slang terminology referring to a lesbian or lesbianism. It originated as a derogatory label for a masculine or butch woman, and this usage still exists. However, some attempt to use it in a manner they see as positive, or simply as a neutral synonym for lesbian.[1] To some extent the word has been reappropriated.


And how is this narration in connection with my question? Could you please expound.
Robinhood
#6 Posted : Thursday, February 24, 2011 12:53:16 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 12/11/2008
Posts: 2,306
@Wendz,

GG thinks this is a romantic situation between two girls!!! My thinking.

My advice,

These situations will never resolve unless very firm action is taken. One has to be ready to involve the police and get her arrested for trespass. I am not sure whether you can get a prohibition order from the courts so that the person is jailed should they ever set foot in your property ever again - lawyers please advise.

The downside is that you may be arrested for battery and charged, but if you can prove self defense.. Again lawyers in the house should assist.

My two cents.
Great men are not always wise, neither do the aged understand judgement...
sukums
#7 Posted : Thursday, February 24, 2011 12:54:53 PM
Rank: New-farer


Joined: 9/3/2010
Posts: 37
Location: nairobi
@wendz mulipigania nini kwanza ndo tuanze kesi
segemia
#8 Posted : Thursday, February 24, 2011 12:55:24 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 2/20/2009
Posts: 658
@ Wendz,

You may wish to borrow a leave from one Ojinga who had almost similar problem.

Scan through this:

http://www.wazua.co.ke/f...aspx?g=posts&t=4368

You never know, you might find a long lasting solution.smile
McReggae
#9 Posted : Thursday, February 24, 2011 12:57:54 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/17/2008
Posts: 23,365
Location: Nairobi
...she throws a glass at me, did it hit me, am I also hurt???

I will call a police friend of mine to enquire she has reported the matter to the police, if she has not, I will be the 1st to report and from then it's my word against hers!!!
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
callaspade
#10 Posted : Thursday, February 24, 2011 12:58:09 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 11/12/2009
Posts: 925
....let the guy gather his camera crew(you inluded)to the other clans village.

....the intention is to deliver and apology but ensure you have the muthuara/githongo gadgets.
....once he apologises,let him ask her to apologise as well and then proclaim some imaginary love.
......take her back home for a week,and then on monday,head straight into a cop station and claim you chick has chapad you badly.
.......there is no crisis hencforth.
..... but next time advise your rela to style up,dont give him to much weed if it makes him violent.
Wendz
#11 Posted : Thursday, February 24, 2011 1:10:06 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
Robinhood wrote:
@Wendz,

GG thinks this is a romantic situation between two girls!!! My thinking.



These are called simple backward minds... I dont dwell on such... same as those that think i am party to the commotion.

Well, @Mcreg, he has gone to the police since the gal has gone to the hosi.... problem is, her bro is very connected and we are just hoping it wont escalate....

@callaspade, you see, this is not a wife, involving clans is going to take the whole thing to another level. The gal works in a different town and came and camped in the guys house against his wish.
TAZ
#12 Posted : Thursday, February 24, 2011 1:30:07 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/14/2007
Posts: 4,152
Clearly she's a psycho....i think apologizing would only encourage her to "pursue" you even more. Whether it was self defense or "heat of moment" the brother will still support the sister. My advice would be just tell your close friends what really happened and wait for the reaction from the brother, if you go to the police they'll probably want to hear the victims side of the story first.
McReggae
#13 Posted : Thursday, February 24, 2011 1:56:26 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/17/2008
Posts: 23,365
Location: Nairobi
TAZ wrote:
Clearly she's a psycho....i think apologizing would only encourage her to "pursue" you even more. Whether it was self defense or "heat of moment" the brother will still support the sister. My advice would be just tell your close friends what really happened and wait for the reaction from the brother, if you go to the police they'll probably want to hear the victims side of the story first.


Rodger that!!!
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
KADUSI
#14 Posted : Thursday, February 24, 2011 2:47:33 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 4/18/2008
Posts: 51
Advise him to call her and they reconcile,then after 2 weeks he dumps her and vacate from that house
Wendz
#15 Posted : Thursday, February 24, 2011 3:01:37 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268

how much do they charge someone for assault? is it any different if you did not start the fight? Is it fine or you have to be jailed?
MaichBlack
#16 Posted : Thursday, February 24, 2011 3:12:05 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/22/2009
Posts: 7,452
KADUSI wrote:
Advise him to call her and they reconcile,then after 2 weeks he dumps her and vacate from that house

Seconded! Tried and tested. It is called doing a wanjiru on her.

Let the guy 'apologize' and 'wonder' why they keep fighting and the way they used to be 'tight' way back when. Visit her in hospital - after sending an apology through an emissary to test the waters - you don't want another fight/show in the hospital. Some flowers will help - they are cheap now - post valentines!

But for what it's worth, he should not promise anything or commit himself - that is bound to backfire very badly in the not so distant future! He should just seem like he has changed [his mind/personality - whatever]. Like there is some hope. More like a share that seems like it might just go up next week/after announcement etc. He has to keep the act for like a month without doing anything stupid or getting closer to her - harder than it seems! After the month is over, he shouldn't meet her, pick her calls, sms back etc. etc. He is trying to find himself, think things through bla bla bla. Kisha mambo kwisha!

@Wendz - You don't want to be charged with assault especially if you are a man and the alleged victim is a lady. You are guilty till proven innocent. Add to that an influential brother, FIDA and other busy bodied NGOs and you are fried. Get yourself in front of a lady judge who imagines you are arrogant - your money can get you out of any mess - and you face a very real possibility of jail term without the option of paying a fine!
Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good returns.
dossy7
#17 Posted : Thursday, February 24, 2011 3:23:21 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 12/9/2009
Posts: 1,491
Location: Nairobi
KADUSI wrote:
Advise him to call her and they reconcile,then after 2 weeks he dumps her and vacate from that house


Believe me this is the worst decision that one can make DO NOT RECONCILE just call her and say you sorry for hitting her and signs that these chic is camping at his place shows that she is madly in love with the guy and all those calling the bro and threatening to charge you with assault is just blackmail so that you can reconcile.
Take leave and skip town for a month
Kenya ni yetu sisi sote
mlefu
#18 Posted : Thursday, February 24, 2011 3:40:58 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/11/2007
Posts: 1,680
Location: nairobi
i bet the guy is just a born town, mid 30`s,mohawh hairstye,terms like landlord are alien to him,wears earlings!!! let me stop there.

maybe the guy did some stuff with the said lady and the thought of being misused is eating her up to act the way she is...

ili liwe funzo kwa huyu kijana na wengine wenye tabia kama hizi...
Kwanini
#19 Posted : Thursday, February 24, 2011 5:01:32 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 1/28/2009
Posts: 353
Location: Cloud
@wendz--Sec 250 of the Penal Code Any person who unlawfully assaults another is guilty of a misdemeanour and, if the assault is not committed in circumstances for which a greater punishment is provided in (the) Penal Code, is liable to imprisonment for one year”. penalties for assault occasioning actual bodily harm -
the punishment is imprisonment for five years, with or without corporal punishment. that notwithstandin,Cases of wife battery are supposed to be prosecuted under these provisions. However, officers principally the investigation, treat domestic assaults and battery as “private affairs.” Wudn't bother if the gal was connected to the main hi-voltage wire, tell the bro to stay put, that's why he faced the kn*fe...
"For i am the master and the captain of my fate"
Ms Mkenya
#20 Posted : Thursday, February 24, 2011 6:41:38 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 5/13/2010
Posts: 869
Location: Nairobi
How sad.
As advised, the guy should report to the cops and in my view once all this dies down, he needs to go get another house the chic doesn't know!

And if she refuses to leave, maybe he should do the police on her! But my best bet is he just gets another house.. or changes locks.

Alternatively, can he ask the brother to talk to her to leave? I mean, if he is influential, he can influence his sister???

Gosh, are some women this desperate???Not talking
....above all, to stand.
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