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Family domes.....Advice
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selah
#1 Posted : Monday, January 10, 2011 3:54:23 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/13/2009
Posts: 1,950
Location: in kenya
I hav been confronted by two problems relating to families and every time It becomes difficult to help.

Scene 1

A neighbor get beaten up by the husband the door is closed and the neighbor is really well built such that you could end up been beaten up urself if you tried to intervene ....So you call other neighbors to help but each is afraid to intervene luckily the beating stops No serious injury suffered so you expect the wife to move out the next morning ...Nah ...she behaves as if nothing happened..How do you help such an individual?

Scene 2

The husband is jobless and he is not aggressive enuf to look for a job the wife has 5 kids including a 1month baby boy...they hav a 4month debt accrual the landlord wants to throw them out...so the wife comes to you and explains the tough life he has to endure what advice or help will you give such a person.
'......to the acknowledgment of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ; 3 In whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.' Colossians 2:2-3
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YesuWangu
#2 Posted : Monday, January 10, 2011 4:08:27 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 8/11/2010
Posts: 1,588
Scene 1. There is no debate there. What needs to be done is clear. A life needs to be saved even from itself. Start by collecting evidence, audio or anything if possible.

Scene 2. A bit gray. What do you mean the man is 'not aggressive enough'? The household can see the silver lining in the dark cloud by making the man into a 'househusband' if he is amenable. Cheap source of household labour. And with the debts, could they be 'keeping up with the Jonses'? Adaptation is the key here. The notion that it is the man who must bring home the bacon was shattered a long time ago.
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muganda
#3 Posted : Monday, January 10, 2011 4:16:37 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 9/15/2006
Posts: 3,907
Real conundrum @selah. @YesuWangu good advice though to start to get involved results in a long term engagement - fighting the husband and supporting the neighbour's wife until issue is finally resolved.

Is it lost on me that you are helping the neighbour's wife in both cases? Is it easier to ignore if it was a man with a problem? Alas! the challenge in life where a man would instinctively be a knight to the fairer folk.
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Wa_ithaka
#4 Posted : Monday, January 10, 2011 4:37:37 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 1/7/2010
Posts: 1,279
Location: nbi
1st case- get him drunk and whip him mpaka he wails like a chicken
2nd case-Arrange for barter trade. Offer her the cash for something you need from her. She is married and the husband should be doing the necessary. If he can't he must relinguish all rights
The Governor of Nyeri - 2017
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  | | Edit by user: Monday, January 10, 2011 4:51 PM | Reason: Not specified
Sober
#5 Posted : Monday, January 10, 2011 4:47:24 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 11/27/2007
Posts: 3,604
scene 1. do nothing.
scene 2. listen and do nothing
African parents don't know how to say sorry.. the closest you will get to a sorry is a 'have you eaten'
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bwenyenye
#6 Posted : Monday, January 10, 2011 4:51:33 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 5/24/2007
Posts: 1,805
@Sober,

hear hear!!

@ Selah,

Wachana na nyumba za wenyewe.
I Think Therefore I Am
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bird_man
#7 Posted : Monday, January 10, 2011 5:08:21 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 11/2/2006
Posts: 1,206
Location: Nairobi
@Selah....kwani you getting paid?Avoid other peoples domez ama one of these days you will be on page 3 of the newspaper....."Lady Hacked in Love Triangle"!

They know why they married each other and why they are still together.
Formally employed people often live their employers' dream & forget about their own.
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MaichBlack
#8 Posted : Monday, January 10, 2011 5:15:13 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 7/22/2009
Posts: 7,910
Sober wrote:
scene 1. do nothing.
scene 2. listen and do nothing

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

I know this is not a laughing matter but why lie, you made me laugh. Especially the second one! Ati listen and do nothing! It's funny coz I have heard that advice dished out a million times.

Your wife/girlfriend keeps complaining about everyone - workmates, relatives neigbours etc. The advice I have heard dished out is "Listen and do nothing!". Ooh and every once in a while throw in comments like "Is she serious?", long silence/listening... "How can she do that?", silence/listening... "How can she buy shoes that look exactly like yours...", silence/listening... "You've got to be kidding...", ... And you will be in good books! She will be telling her friends "My husband/boyfriend understands me. He's very sweet!" while you understand absolutely nothing!
Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good returns.
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kadonye
#9 Posted : Monday, January 10, 2011 5:22:59 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 5/30/2009
Posts: 1,390
@maichLaughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
What a wicked man I am!The things I want to do,I don't do.The things I don't want to do I find myself doing
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Dod
#10 Posted : Monday, January 10, 2011 8:30:05 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 10/4/2010
Posts: 223
Location: Afghanistan
MaichBlack wrote:
Sober wrote:
scene 1. do nothing.
scene 2. listen and do nothing

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

I know this is not a laughing matter but why lie, you made me laugh. Especially the second one! Ati listen and do nothing! It's funny coz I have heard that advice dished out a million times.

Your wife/girlfriend keeps complaining about everyone - workmates, relatives neigbours etc. The advice I have heard dished out is "Listen and do nothing!". Ooh and every once in a while throw in comments like "Is she serious?", long silence/listening... "How can she do that?", silence/listening... "How can she buy shoes that look exactly like yours...", silence/listening... "You've got to be kidding...", ... And you will be in good books! She will be telling her friends "My husband/boyfriend understands me. He's very sweet!" while you understand absolutely nothing!


Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
The rich have money working for them; the poor and the middle class are going to work for money.
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