Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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newfarer wrote:quicksand wrote:If I were you @Wendz I wouldn't advice them unless either one specifically sought an opinion from me ...self-preservation; Both could be angry at you and ask why you have opinions on how they do things. I trust the hubby has already complained about the situation to the wife; If she has smarts, she might notice the marriage is going south and if it has any meaning for her, she will reach a point and wonder if it is worth losing the marriage on account of her relying on her mother too much. It will self-correct, but some pain has to be felt first. Or it might disintegrate. Some things are not worth saving if no one is willing to be sensible. Otherwise, they both will look for excuses/ and or people to blame or vent on. Its like Somalia. They will become democratic someday when they all become sensible enough. Until then, we just prevent that toxicity from spilling over here. Didn't do the US any good to interfere. Good luck whichever course of action you choose. Exactly what I advised Wendz, these guys will bury the hatchets and you will be the story for waiting dinner to be ready.Leave them alone unless you are a marriage counsellor I beg to differ with you guys.... sometimes we all need someone to tell repeat to us what we already know - including those marriage counselors..... and then it sinks.... I have done that severally.... The only reason i am giving my views on my understanding of their issues(as they told me) is because i was specifically asked how i would handle it..... not wanting to be the know-it-all, i bounced the same here to understand how you guys would think of the issue.... otherwise, i am the sort that keeps advise to myself unless it has been specifically sort...... I dont give unsolicited advise (may be when i make a career out of counseling)..... besides, trust me, i would never give advise that borders a suggestion to break a family... if they break their family, it would be by their own free will.... and even when i say my opinion, i state categorically that that is my opinion and they need not take it. If someones asks for your advise/opinion, what will you tell them? sijui, enda ukajisaidie... what friendship is that?
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