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The mother in law influence - 911...... heeeeeelllllppppp!
kingfisher
#31 Posted : Tuesday, November 16, 2010 12:28:13 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 4/9/2008
Posts: 2,824
@mlefu....so you can paste an image on this site now...kudos man!!
When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart.
Njung'e
#32 Posted : Tuesday, November 16, 2010 12:33:40 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 2/7/2007
Posts: 11,935
Location: Nairobi
@Kingfisher,
Paste??.......Ameiweka na stapler.
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
Wendz
#33 Posted : Tuesday, November 16, 2010 12:48:55 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
bwenyenye wrote:
[quote=Wendz][and the lady is getting frustrated and wants a break...... i know its difficult but it would be sad to see them go that route.


[/quote) Pray

Your friend is not serious. Just ask her to take a two week break and go and live with her mother. That might actually solve her problems once nad for all.She will realise that truth is stranger than fiction.Shame on you


I wouldnt do that. How would you know the guy is not waiting for such to give his verdict.... This is still a young family and am sure there is a chance for it to survive but they have to make the decision on where MIL comes in and when they sort out their issues. As majority have said, its either her mother or her marriage.

Thanks guys for all your contribution and more so because i got most of the response from the brother's side...... we women are biased towards our mothers and am not an exception so i think i have a balanced view of issues now. I really appreciate. will see how our meeting goes. At least i will even sound a bit knowledgeable on these issues thanks to all you guys.

@Impunity, the problem with Wazua is they do not have a section for "grown-ups discussions only".... I wont judge you.
gadj
#34 Posted : Tuesday, November 16, 2010 12:50:13 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 4/16/2009
Posts: 257
The lady should wait until the MIL comes visiting, then take the hubby to bed and have sex making all manner of noises, the MIL will be so embarrassed never to return again. They even can buy the bed made of wires to assist in noise making.
KulaRaha
#35 Posted : Tuesday, November 16, 2010 1:41:28 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 7/26/2007
Posts: 6,514
gadj wrote:
The lady should wait until the MIL comes visiting, then take the hubby to bed and have sex making all manner of noises, the MIL will be so embarrassed never to return again. They even can buy the bed made of wires to assist in noise making.


Bed made of wires?????
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muganda
#36 Posted : Tuesday, November 16, 2010 1:46:31 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 9/15/2006
Posts: 3,907
Best of luck Wendz - abundant commonsense in contributions so far.
Our upbringing plays such a large part as to who we are, but at the end of the day marriage is a union between two. She made a mistake in bringing a third party to the union and now he's keen to bring in many others.

Advice from external parties should be sought and adapted completely before being applied to the marriage. At the end of all the advice, who does it profit if there's no marriage?

Ms Mkenya
#37 Posted : Tuesday, November 16, 2010 1:53:30 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 5/13/2010
Posts: 869
Location: Nairobi
@ Wendz,
If you were her best maid it means you are good friends. Well i think.
Just tell her in black and white, this issue of your mum is messing your marriage, period. And give her some of the views expressed especially by our brothers/fathers here smile.
As a friend, tell her bluntly she has two choices-to listen to her mum or to listen to her hubby. But in my view, she will also need to:-
-sit her mum down and tell her that she wants to run her home herself (with respect, asitusi mama yake)
-apologize to her husband
-be ready to have a new start where she and Mr run the family as a unit.
-Pray like mad that Mr. will now listen to her.

I had a similar issue with a friend and i told her just that. So far, so good. It was hard for her to do it but once she did, even she saw the difference it made.

All the best, sometimes its really tough being a friend.
....above all, to stand.
bwenyenye
#38 Posted : Tuesday, November 16, 2010 2:01:02 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 5/24/2007
Posts: 1,805
@Wendz,

Do not forget to bring us the update. I really hope she choses the husband and follows @Ms Mkenya's steps.

And to all the ladies here, please keep off you daughters' marriages when the time comes. YOu now have the benefit of foresight
I Think Therefore I Am
My 2 cents
#39 Posted : Tuesday, November 16, 2010 2:12:01 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 6/2/2010
Posts: 1,090
bwenyenye wrote:
@Wendz,

please keep off you daughters' marriages when the time comes. YOu now have the benefit of foresight


You forgot to add sons also. keep off your sons marriages as well.
Wendz
#40 Posted : Tuesday, November 16, 2010 2:23:36 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
Ms Mkenya wrote:
@ Wendz,
If you were her best maid it means you are good friends. Well i think.
Just tell her in black and white, this issue of your mum is messing your marriage, period. And give her some of the views expressed especially by our brothers/fathers here smile.
As a friend, tell her bluntly she has two choices-to listen to her mum or to listen to her hubby. But in my view, she will also need to:-
-sit her mum down and tell her that she wants to run her home herself (with respect, asitusi mama yake)
-apologize to her husband
-be ready to have a new start where she and Mr run the family as a unit.
-Pray like mad that Mr. will now listen to her.

I had a similar issue with a friend and i told her just that. So far, so good. It was hard for her to do it but once she did, even she saw the difference it made.

All the best, sometimes its really tough being a friend.


@Muganda Thanks. Very true... the marriage has to be there otherwise no point of all the talk.

@Ms Kenya
Wanawake 10 wa womens guild kando. yes, we are very close for many many years. she is like a sister to me. Very true. I bet i will have to have that honest talk with her if i have to put some sense in her. luckily, she knows i mean well and when she needs an honest answer, she will ask me because i will say as i see/understand it. But the issues of mother is sensitive even for me to handle coz she is very close to her so this, i had to seek intelligent opinion from here. She is the last born so I think thats where the mother hasnt cut the ties yet and then again, she is the only kid in the country... all the others are out in diaspora and the mom is retired......(not an excuse but you can see where the problem may have started). Thanks gal.

@bwenyenye. will do. She loves her husband and it is really the right thing to do. Her challenge will have to be dealing with her mother which she might have to take the bold step.

@bwenyenye & my 2 cents - honestly, i think its hard but i will so try keep off my son's life like a plague... i hope i will manage. i bet i will adopt a kid to be keeping me busy in retirement... heehheheheheheheheee..
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