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The mother in law influence - 911...... heeeeeelllllppppp!
Rank: Elder Joined: 2/11/2007 Posts: 1,680 Location: nairobi
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soon you will have three friends..later the wise man saying that goes like.."God protect me from my friends because i already know my enemies" will be so true....unless the MIL without eheeee can prepare something like this... Wendy's Burger
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/24/2007 Posts: 1,805
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@Wendz, Does your friend( the woman) want to keep her marriage? If yes, then she needs to stay away from the mother, both on phone and physically, Apologoze to the husband and work on their relationship. I can tell ou that guy is as good as gone by now. She needs to beg him properly... otherwise she will be among the congregants of next year's 'Bwana PAP!' convention! I Think Therefore I Am
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/31/2008 Posts: 7,081 Location: Kenya
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Send this to the cast of Mother In law... It will teach many mothers in law some lessons.
...Now, when you meet your lady friend this evening (dont waste money on coffee for her cause she is a dunderhead!!! Sorry)tell her on her face that WE MEN DONT LIKE THIS AT ALL. Any closeness of this nature can only spell disaster. We dont even like seeing her brothers and sisters hanging around her. My point is that relatives from both families should only visit when there is a need and should not just turn up!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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Get out to the gutter... kubaff... we worked with the two of them! its not like he is my "personal" friend and i was the best maid in their wedding...... bure kabisa!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/7/2007 Posts: 11,935 Location: Nairobi
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True that Magigi......She was so fond of muchene and would pop every other day to lecture the sis on how to run her house.....Hubby warned the wife but she was not keen on stopping her.....One day hubby turns up early and finds the two in the house.He closed the door and slid down his pants.......She has never returned. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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newfarer wrote:Wendz,
as long as you want to maintain the friendship to both , be careful on what you tell them.Mambo ya bibi na bwana ina wezwa na wao wenyewe.The more you want to advise them the more likely for them to gang against you and you will be the bad one. .Leave them alone . they know where they met , they know what they want on their marriage(make or break it).
If the wife wants to listen to Mum too much nothing will change her. I hear you. Actually, thats why i put this one here because i dont want to cross that line... plus i do not want to seem to side with any.... but if i can get an honest way of telling them may be where they are goofing and possibly can help, it will be a blessing... otherwise, i might have to resort to suggesting what someone said about them going to see a proper marriage counselor.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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Magigi wrote:Send this to the cast of Mother In law... It will teach many mothers in law some lessons.
...Now, when you meet your lady friend this evening (dont waste money on coffee for her cause she is a dunderhead!!! Sorry)tell her on her face that WE MEN DONT LIKE THIS AT ALL. Any closeness of this nature can only spell disaster. We dont even like seeing her brothers and sisters hanging around her. My point is that relatives from both families should only visit when there is a need and should not just turn up! Thanks.... will definitely do.
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Rank: Member Joined: 5/7/2010 Posts: 282 Location: Nairobi
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No man will allow MIL to run his home! NEVER!
The lady has two choices: To listen to her husband or to go back to her mother!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,328 Location: Masada
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Wendz wrote:Get out to the gutter... kubaff... we worked with the two of them! its not like he is my "personal" friend and i was the best maid in their wedding...... bure kabisa! @Wendz, it normally starts like that,:I was their best maid, then close friend,halafu choir member.....before he knows it makosa ishafanyika.  Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/24/2007 Posts: 1,805
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[quote=Wendz][and the lady is getting frustrated and wants a break...... i know its difficult but it would be sad to see them go that route. [/quote)  Your friend is not serious. Just ask her to take a two week break and go and live with her mother. That might actually solve her problems once nad for all.She will realise that truth is stranger than fiction.  I Think Therefore I Am
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Rank: Elder Joined: 4/9/2008 Posts: 2,824
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@mlefu....so you can paste an image on this site now...kudos man!! When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/7/2007 Posts: 11,935 Location: Nairobi
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@Kingfisher, Paste??.......Ameiweka na stapler. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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bwenyenye wrote:[quote=Wendz][and the lady is getting frustrated and wants a break...... i know its difficult but it would be sad to see them go that route. [/quote) Your friend is not serious. Just ask her to take a two week break and go and live with her mother. That might actually solve her problems once nad for all.She will realise that truth is stranger than fiction. I wouldnt do that. How would you know the guy is not waiting for such to give his verdict.... This is still a young family and am sure there is a chance for it to survive but they have to make the decision on where MIL comes in and when they sort out their issues. As majority have said, its either her mother or her marriage. Thanks guys for all your contribution and more so because i got most of the response from the brother's side...... we women are biased towards our mothers and am not an exception so i think i have a balanced view of issues now. I really appreciate. will see how our meeting goes. At least i will even sound a bit knowledgeable on these issues thanks to all you guys. @Impunity, the problem with Wazua is they do not have a section for "grown-ups discussions only".... I wont judge you.
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Rank: Member Joined: 4/16/2009 Posts: 257
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The lady should wait until the MIL comes visiting, then take the hubby to bed and have sex making all manner of noises, the MIL will be so embarrassed never to return again. They even can buy the bed made of wires to assist in noise making.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/26/2007 Posts: 6,514
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Rank: Elder Joined: 9/15/2006 Posts: 3,905
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Best of luck Wendz - abundant commonsense in contributions so far.
Our upbringing plays such a large part as to who we are, but at the end of the day marriage is a union between two. She made a mistake in bringing a third party to the union and now he's keen to bring in many others.
Advice from external parties should be sought and adapted completely before being applied to the marriage. At the end of all the advice, who does it profit if there's no marriage?
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 5/13/2010 Posts: 869 Location: Nairobi
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@ Wendz, If you were her best maid it means you are good friends. Well i think. Just tell her in black and white, this issue of your mum is messing your marriage, period. And give her some of the views expressed especially by our brothers/fathers here  . As a friend, tell her bluntly she has two choices-to listen to her mum or to listen to her hubby. But in my view, she will also need to:- -sit her mum down and tell her that she wants to run her home herself (with respect, asitusi mama yake) -apologize to her husband -be ready to have a new start where she and Mr run the family as a unit. -Pray like mad that Mr. will now listen to her. I had a similar issue with a friend and i told her just that. So far, so good. It was hard for her to do it but once she did, even she saw the difference it made. All the best, sometimes its really tough being a friend. ....above all, to stand.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/24/2007 Posts: 1,805
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@Wendz, Do not forget to bring us the update. I really hope she choses the husband and follows @Ms Mkenya's steps. And to all the ladies here, please keep off you daughters' marriages when the time comes. YOu now have the benefit of foresight I Think Therefore I Am
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 6/2/2010 Posts: 1,066
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bwenyenye wrote:@Wendz,
please keep off you daughters' marriages when the time comes. YOu now have the benefit of foresight
You forgot to add sons also. keep off your sons marriages as well.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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Ms Mkenya wrote:@ Wendz, If you were her best maid it means you are good friends. Well i think. Just tell her in black and white, this issue of your mum is messing your marriage, period. And give her some of the views expressed especially by our brothers/fathers here . As a friend, tell her bluntly she has two choices-to listen to her mum or to listen to her hubby. But in my view, she will also need to:- -sit her mum down and tell her that she wants to run her home herself (with respect, asitusi mama yake) -apologize to her husband -be ready to have a new start where she and Mr run the family as a unit. -Pray like mad that Mr. will now listen to her. I had a similar issue with a friend and i told her just that. So far, so good. It was hard for her to do it but once she did, even she saw the difference it made. All the best, sometimes its really tough being a friend. @Muganda Thanks. Very true... the marriage has to be there otherwise no point of all the talk. @Ms Kenya Wanawake 10 wa womens guild kando. yes, we are very close for many many years. she is like a sister to me. Very true. I bet i will have to have that honest talk with her if i have to put some sense in her. luckily, she knows i mean well and when she needs an honest answer, she will ask me because i will say as i see/understand it. But the issues of mother is sensitive even for me to handle coz she is very close to her so this, i had to seek intelligent opinion from here. She is the last born so I think thats where the mother hasnt cut the ties yet and then again, she is the only kid in the country... all the others are out in diaspora and the mom is retired......(not an excuse but you can see where the problem may have started). Thanks gal. @bwenyenye. will do. She loves her husband and it is really the right thing to do. Her challenge will have to be dealing with her mother which she might have to take the bold step. @bwenyenye & my 2 cents - honestly, i think its hard but i will so try keep off my son's life like a plague... i hope i will manage. i bet i will adopt a kid to be keeping me busy in retirement... heehheheheheheheheee..
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The mother in law influence - 911...... heeeeeelllllppppp!
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