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The mother in law influence - 911...... heeeeeelllllppppp!
mlefu
#21 Posted : Tuesday, November 16, 2010 11:53:24 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 2/11/2007
Posts: 1,680
Location: nairobi
soon you will have three friends..later the wise man saying that goes like.."God protect me from my friends because i already know my enemies" will be so true....unless the MIL without eheeee can prepare something like this...Wendy's Burger
bwenyenye
#22 Posted : Tuesday, November 16, 2010 11:57:25 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 5/24/2007
Posts: 1,805
@Wendz,

Does your friend( the woman) want to keep her marriage?
If yes, then she needs to stay away from the mother, both on phone and physically, Apologoze to the husband and work on their relationship. I can tell ou that guy is as good as gone by now. She needs to beg him properly... otherwise she will be among the congregants of next year's 'Bwana PAP!' convention!
I Think Therefore I Am
Magigi
#23 Posted : Tuesday, November 16, 2010 11:59:08 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/31/2008
Posts: 7,081
Location: Kenya
Send this to the cast of Mother In law... It will teach many mothers in law some lessons.

...Now, when you meet your lady friend this evening (dont waste money on coffee for her cause she is a dunderhead!!! Sorry)tell her on her face that WE MEN DONT LIKE THIS AT ALL. Any closeness of this nature can only spell disaster. We dont even like seeing her brothers and sisters hanging around her. My point is that relatives from both families should only visit when there is a need and should not just turn up!
Wendz
#24 Posted : Tuesday, November 16, 2010 12:03:03 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
Impunity wrote:
Wendz wrote:
Now, i am in a dilemma.... my best friend of many years is having issues with her husband (who is also a good friend to me too) over her mother's hand in their marriage. The lady's mother seems to have alot of say in the running of this family. Well, the guy doesnt like it but my friend is so convinced that it is for the best of their marriage. i do understand where she is coming from because some of the issues she (the mother) has 'ingiliad' (because it is not intervening so i dont have the correct english word for it and i wouldnt mind someone telling me... intruding sort of?) has been to help them. Problem is, the lady always sides with her mother in everything she proposes and keeps reporting back to her. Me thinks, the guy is feeling like he has lost control of this marriage... but thats my thinking... Now the guy seems like he is kinda sneaking around and the lady is getting frustrated and wants a break...... i know its difficult but it would be sad to see them go that route.

Now, good people, how have you guys been handling this in either your relationships or those close to you who you know had similar problems? i want to be as objective as possible and tell her the real thing as hard as it may be and may be put sense into the whole thing... am supposed to meet my friend today.... How have you been handling this mother in law thing in your families? What are the solutions.... how does this family handle these issues without breaking apart.

And i know how we are in wazua... the next post will say "that friend is you".... its all good with me as long as you let me have your objective solution.


Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you
Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you




Get out to the gutter... kubaff... we worked with the two of them! its not like he is my "personal" friend and i was the best maid in their wedding...... bure kabisa!
Njung'e
#25 Posted : Tuesday, November 16, 2010 12:07:13 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 2/7/2007
Posts: 11,935
Location: Nairobi
True that Magigi......She was so fond of muchene and would pop every other day to lecture the sis on how to run her house.....Hubby warned the wife but she was not keen on stopping her.....One day hubby turns up early and finds the two in the house.He closed the door and slid down his pants.......She has never returned.
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
Wendz
#26 Posted : Tuesday, November 16, 2010 12:08:20 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
newfarer wrote:
Wendz,
as long as you want to maintain the friendship to both , be careful on what you tell them.Mambo ya bibi na bwana ina wezwa na wao wenyewe.The more you want to advise them the more likely for them to gang against you and you will be the bad one. .Leave them alone . they know where they met , they know what they want on their marriage(make or break it).
If the wife wants to listen to Mum too much nothing will change her.



I hear you. Actually, thats why i put this one here because i dont want to cross that line... plus i do not want to seem to side with any.... but if i can get an honest way of telling them may be where they are goofing and possibly can help, it will be a blessing... otherwise, i might have to resort to suggesting what someone said about them going to see a proper marriage counselor.
Wendz
#27 Posted : Tuesday, November 16, 2010 12:10:35 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
Magigi wrote:
Send this to the cast of Mother In law... It will teach many mothers in law some lessons.

...Now, when you meet your lady friend this evening (dont waste money on coffee for her cause she is a dunderhead!!! Sorry)tell her on her face that WE MEN DONT LIKE THIS AT ALL. Any closeness of this nature can only spell disaster. We dont even like seeing her brothers and sisters hanging around her. My point is that relatives from both families should only visit when there is a need and should not just turn up!



Thanks.... will definitely do.
sky5
#28 Posted : Tuesday, November 16, 2010 12:15:05 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 5/7/2010
Posts: 282
Location: Nairobi
No man will allow MIL to run his home! NEVER!

The lady has two choices: To listen to her husband or to go back to her mother!
Impunity
#29 Posted : Tuesday, November 16, 2010 12:20:48 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,331
Location: Masada
Wendz wrote:
Impunity wrote:
Wendz wrote:
Now, i am in a dilemma.... my best friend of many years is having issues with her husband (who is also a good friend to me too) over her mother's hand in their marriage. The lady's mother seems to have alot of say in the running of this family. Well, the guy doesnt like it but my friend is so convinced that it is for the best of their marriage. i do understand where she is coming from because some of the issues she (the mother) has 'ingiliad' (because it is not intervening so i dont have the correct english word for it and i wouldnt mind someone telling me... intruding sort of?) has been to help them. Problem is, the lady always sides with her mother in everything she proposes and keeps reporting back to her. Me thinks, the guy is feeling like he has lost control of this marriage... but thats my thinking... Now the guy seems like he is kinda sneaking around and the lady is getting frustrated and wants a break...... i know its difficult but it would be sad to see them go that route.

Now, good people, how have you guys been handling this in either your relationships or those close to you who you know had similar problems? i want to be as objective as possible and tell her the real thing as hard as it may be and may be put sense into the whole thing... am supposed to meet my friend today.... How have you been handling this mother in law thing in your families? What are the solutions.... how does this family handle these issues without breaking apart.

And i know how we are in wazua... the next post will say "that friend is you".... its all good with me as long as you let me have your objective solution.


Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you
Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you




Get out to the gutter... kubaff... we worked with the two of them! its not like he is my "personal" friend and i was the best maid in their wedding...... bure kabisa!


@Wendz, it normally starts like that,:I was their best maid, then close friend,halafu choir member.....before he knows it makosa ishafanyika.

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bwenyenye
#30 Posted : Tuesday, November 16, 2010 12:26:52 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 5/24/2007
Posts: 1,805
[quote=Wendz][and the lady is getting frustrated and wants a break...... i know its difficult but it would be sad to see them go that route.


[/quote) Pray

Your friend is not serious. Just ask her to take a two week break and go and live with her mother. That might actually solve her problems once nad for all.She will realise that truth is stranger than fiction.Shame on you
I Think Therefore I Am
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