Usife moyo ndugu yangu. Your problem is simple and there is a solution. You are suffering from SEXUAL STARVATION!!! You need to get laid!!!! Now I understand that you are socially shy. This is an emergency, forget social norms, forget going out to convince a girl to become your friend then you get sex. No!! You need sex now!! It is your sanity on the line here. If you can pay a surgeon to operate on your heart to save your life, you can pay a woman to save your mind. I am not mincing my words, get a woman, get laid and then see just how different the world will look like. This is a serious problem and do not ignore it. It is like a boil on your spirit and this is the only way to drain it! Cool jamaa, you need sex now!!!!!!

@Cool, kwanza I got to congratulate you on being bold enough to air your views here, and you have no idea how many people go thru the same and are being helped by your post. kudos for that.

Mister Cool Jamaa, every time you feel you are spiraling down to depression/low morale, remember there are people who are worse off than you are -, jamaas who don't have jobs, who are very ill, some are physically disabled, others are illiterate and cannot even post a rational piece like you did - so, man up, you have a little to work with - use it, try to be happy never mind circumstances and if you that proves difficult, indulge in the occasional beer, its why the stuff was invented.

Otherwise good luck. Mungu akubariki.

Kihoni,

You should have met my pal, Amos - hardworking and fairly street smart.
He hustled, and some of his companies/ tenders he so ardently pursued didnt materialise.Others did!
He has been through not 1 but 2 retrenchments in diff Cos.
He built some informal houses in Nakuru after incurring heavy expenses. Next day kanjo had flattened everything. Despite his due diligence.
Not long afterwards his 2nd plot in a different area was grabbed and he could do dot about it.
His first wife died.He buried her, and didnt let the grief wear him down.
One of his relas died and he went to bury him. He returned to Nbi and was just alighting from a mat from this burial when he got a call that one of his close cousins who was at the funeral with him had also passed on and could he plse, urgently come board a mat back to the lakeside?
But Amos, always happy, always said he will overcome his problems.

Take a bus to Dagoretti Children's Hm or a No. III to Ngong Children's Hm, or go to KNH's Cancer Ward and look at the happiness of those kids, notwithstanding their painful background, uncertain or no future. To many of the cancer kids 'the rest of ma life' ranges from next few hours, days, weeks, months - for most, its not years. I have gone to all 3 so I know what am talking about.

After considering and digesting all these and Amos utakaa square.
So you still think you have problems?!

You are in good health so thats your greatest wealth at the moment.
And don't ever commit suicide - people have better things to do that clean up your mess.

@quicksand, brav, sukums, Dia, Elder, Muganda, sky5, selah, Kusadikika and anyone I my have missed : thanks a lot. I thought posting this up here would be a good idea and u haven't dissapointed. I take what u guys have said to heart. Something that's gotten mentioned a lot is 'positive attitude' and I think I'll spend the next couple of days researching that.

I think that more than anything, what I need is a brand new start in life. The thing is I've had a lot of "false starts" but I guess one more try won't hurt...what have I got to lose?

I hope that sometime soon, at least before the end of this year, I'll be back here w/some positive news. Wazua is fantastic and so are its members. All of them. Thanks heaps.

P.S. I just realized I use 'I' a lot. Perhaps this is part of the problem and thanks for bringing it to my attention.