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Full disclosure to your spouse.
Rank: Elder Joined: 10/1/2009 Posts: 2,436
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Tebes wrote:Speaking of which, I know a guy who when salo arrives, the wife and the eldest son has to accompany him! The guy withdraws everything and hands over to the wife. She then determines what to give him. Poor guy  some guys earn more allowances than salo...  dude could be one smart cookie, making wifie and son feel they are very clever kumbe in actual fact they are malenge/ mental dwarfs 
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/23/2008 Posts: 3,966
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its said couples talk about anything else(including sex) apart from finances. and you wonder why more and more couples are having issues in their relationships. trust should be key in marriage. otherwise, why marry someone whom you cannot trust? when people marry, they become one. so when you dont talk about finances, its like you dont trust yourself. i never hide anything from my spouse and i can say our marriage has been quite awesome. Luck is when Preparation meets Opportunity. ~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca
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Rank: Member Joined: 5/12/2009 Posts: 266
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Interesting topic.
Surely,it makes no sense to hide your property from your spouse, after all you are one.
But in some circumstances, it may make sense,like Nju'ge puts it.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/26/2008 Posts: 2,097
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Intelligentsia wrote:Tebes wrote:Speaking of which, I know a guy who when salo arrives, the wife and the eldest son has to accompany him! The guy withdraws everything and hands over to the wife. She then determines what to give him. Poor guy some guys earn more allowances than salo... dude could be one smart cookie, making wifie and son feel they are very clever kumbe in actual fact they are malenge/ mental dwarfs Due to his nature of employment, all his allowances are paid together with salary and fairly remains constant till incremental dates scheduled. Bibi ni housewife but controls the guy's pay. Is it love ama ni Kamuti?  "Never regret, if its good, its wonderful. If its bad, its experience."
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/6/2008 Posts: 3,586
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@Tebes, this is a form of begging. It is the same case for those who sit on the bedside with their wives and start comparing payslips, it is a form of begging. The Jamaa is "begging" his wife not to leave him by giving her all his money and she in return rewards him with a little of his money. In the case where men "honestly" share payslips with their wives and do budgets on the bedside where the excuse is sijui openness helps avoid conflict about finances. It is obvious to them (the men) that they need to plead their case by showing their payslips and then allocating resources together. It is still begging, ask yourself, why should the conflict arise? How does sharing declaring your wealth to your spouse avert conflict? Insecurities sio? then you will see all this is begging, these type of people are subconsciously begging their spouses not to run away. Ras Kienyeji Man
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Rank: Member Joined: 3/18/2008 Posts: 377
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@ Njunge & Yesu Wangu I am with you on this one. I disclose what i am comfortable with. I also have to be prepared just in case she bolts from the relationship. There is no way I am going to share equally with her what I have spent years investing. As a man, you should always have plan B. With the new constitution and affirmative action women activists including FIDA are always ready to offer free services to the women; a man can not win the property battles in case of divorce. When I buy a house for the family in some leafy neighbourhood, I also buy another one for myself which she will never know about until I die. If I die, the will takes care of the disclosure. That's why you will never see poor people divorcing coz they have nothing to share. Wait until you buy that house in Lavington! That's the time you will discover the truth about love, trust,investments, women etc. Money corrupts more than power "You've never lived until you've almost died; for those who have fought for it, life has a flavour the protected will never know."
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Rank: Member Joined: 10/23/2008 Posts: 234
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interesting am learning few things.....happens in marriage b4 time comes for me to join the marriage club...... please keep them coming.
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Rank: Member Joined: 2/17/2010 Posts: 234 Location: Nairobi
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good point. with women, you must always have a fallback. inaitwa insurance. hehehe. luttz wrote:@ Njunge & Yesu Wangu
I am with you on this one. I disclose what i am comfortable with. I also have to be prepared just in case she bolts from the relationship. There is no way I am going to share equally with her what I have spent years investing. As a man, you should always have plan B. With the new constitution and affirmative action women activists including FIDA are always ready to offer free services to the women; a man can not win the property battles in case of divorce. When I buy a house for the family in some leafy neighbourhood, I also buy another one for myself which she will never know about until I die. If I die, the will takes care of the disclosure. That's why you will never see poor people divorcing coz they have nothing to share. Wait until you buy that house in Lavington! That's the time you will discover the truth about love, trust,investments, women etc. Money corrupts more than power
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/27/2008 Posts: 4,114
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What in the world would you be thinking living with a person you can't trust? Nothing is real unless it can be named; nothing has value unless it can be sold; money is worthless unless you spend it.
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Rank: Member Joined: 3/30/2010 Posts: 176
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[quote=2012]I know a guy who was forced by the wifey to pay college fees for his 'bro in love' who he doesn't like anyway from his/their emergency fund.
quote]
Aiiii..A wise pair once adviced that whatever you give to one side of the family, give to the other side whether they need it or not. That way, one spouse doesn't feel sharing of family resources is unequal.
People with nothing to hide have nothing to fear, ama?
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