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Just for laughs...corner
Rank: Member Joined: 4/8/2008 Posts: 71
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The lady teacher asks the pupils what kind of medicines they know and what they are used for. The first pupil said: Panadol? Very good! And what is it used for? It is used for headache. The second pupil said: Piriton. Excellent. And what it is used for? To help you sleep. Now it is Johnny's turn and he said: Viagra. Johnny. What is it used for? I think it can be used for diarrhea. Who told you this? Nobody, but every evening my mother tells my father 'take a Viagra, may be that little shit will get harder' Don't let urgent deflect you from the important
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/1/2009 Posts: 2,436
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kamashaa lexx wrote:An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue and yellow. The old man just stared.
Every time the young man looked the old man was staring. The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, ...never done anything wild in your life?"
Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son."
should have been a peacock, not a parrot
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 3/15/2010 Posts: 88 Location: sudan
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C&P Have a hearty laugh! Kibaki, Obasanjo and Mugabe got lost in the forest and were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told them they could live if they pass a test. The first step of the test was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three presidents went separate ways to gather fruits. Kibaki came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the test to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten." The first apple went in.. but on the second one Kibaki winced out in pain, so he was killed. Obasanjo then arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the test to Obasanjo he thought this should be easy. So in they went 1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5.. 6.. 7.. 8.. and on the 9th berry he burst out in laughter and was killed. Kibaki and Obasanjo met in heaven. Kibaki asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" Then Obasanjo replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw Mugabe coming with pineapples!" Aha there you go.
The Brave may not live forever - but the cautious do not live at all: Richard Branson
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Rank: Member Joined: 1/16/2010 Posts: 672 Location: nairobi
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/13/2009 Posts: 1,950 Location: in kenya
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On a university exam, students were asked to explain the difference between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an "A" to the student who wrote "I don't know and I don't care." '......to the acknowledgment of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ; 3 In whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.' Colossians 2:2-3
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/9/2009 Posts: 1,493 Location: Nairobi
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RESTROOM ETTIQUETTE During a good manners and ettiquette class being held for young children, the teacher says to her students: "If you were courting a well educated young gal from a prominent family and during dinner for two, you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?" Mike replies : "Wait a minute, i'm going for a piss." The teacher says: "That would be very rude and improper on your part." Charlie replies: " I am sorry, i need to go to the toilet, i'll be back in a minute." The teacher says: Thats much better but to mention, the word "Toilet" during a meal, is unpleasant." And little johnny says, "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with my little friend, whom i hope to be able to introduce to you after dinner.".......!!!!!! Hhahaha  Kenya ni yetu sisi sote
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Rank: Chief Joined: 8/24/2009 Posts: 5,909 Location: Nairobi
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C & P
Wanjiru, an eighteen-year-old girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the chemist and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result confirms that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half
an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their
house; a mature and distinguished man with grey
hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the girl, and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll take charge.
If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail
stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent,
places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You'll sleep with her again...
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Rank: Chief Joined: 8/24/2009 Posts: 5,909 Location: Nairobi
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NEVER BE LATE
A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner.
He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it.
He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, Had an affair with his boss's wife, Taken illegal drugs, And gave VD to his sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were
not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.".....
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk. "I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession.
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 8/19/2010 Posts: 23
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Foul Mouths
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country....we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives.........
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/13/2009 Posts: 1,950 Location: in kenya
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@don '......to the acknowledgment of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ; 3 In whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.' Colossians 2:2-3
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